and here we are
Well it's been quite a long minute but I'm still here. Binge watching the big bang theory, having a quiet drink while the house sleeps. Just realizing how much of a dumbass I am for not realizing that I'm sitting in the kitchen and I could see the clocks the whole time. geez. While playing a game online, so I couldnt see my PCs clock, and watching shows on my phone. Wish I would have just looked up, well go figure I have to really have to pay attention.
However here I sit, now seemingly sleepy, I'm thinking back on the joys I have and the joys I have yet to experience. I'm looking forward to so many things, even those that may never be. Thankfully the first things that do pop up are watch my girls grow. Watching the joy spark with heartfelt new experiences and at the same sad time watching their hard-work crumble around when someone or something comes along and kicks it down. I chastise my wife about babying them sometimes a little too much however when I think about it I might be a bit too overprotective. I feel like maybe I stand in the way of their development because I almost always take over and do something for them when they show the slightest bit of struggle. At the time I dont think how it prevents them from learning from their mistakes or learn new ways to solve their problem, I just want them to know Daddy is here and will always be here for them. However maybe I am a bit much.
The one thing that I am currently looking forward to is the idea of going back to school. It's currently still an idea because I have to wait and see what my job says about working with my time to get into class. if that goes well then I will for sure be attending classes an trying to better my life for my family. It's something worthy and worthwhile that I know I can do for them. The better I make myself the more I can grow, and of course get paid. It's all about the money right? Cant do anything without it these days. Hell a dozen decent eggs are on sale for $6, normally $9. The cheap gas in the hood is still over $3 a gallon. Money is everything and I have to go back to school to make more of it. At least this time I will be going back and doing something I feel I can enjoy. One step at a time for now, and literally one day at a time.
For now I think I will stop here, sine I feel like either one of two things will occur. Either 1. I will start rambling on and feel the need to write just because this is open and the pressure behind it to do so, or 2. I will open up the flood gate and everything will pour out all at once. Neither sounds very fun or fun to look back on.
Here is to 2023, lets the make the best of it!
-R