Radio, Friday March 7, 2008
Willow: Hi Fandom! Willow Rosenberg here for Fandom Raa-ah - ah - ACHOO!
Xander: Geblessyouheit. And this is Xander Harris.
Willow: I wish I could stop doing that. Every time I do that they explode and die. It's dusty pathos everywhere!
Xander: Maybe it's like the cookies. You how it's okay to eat chocolate chip cookies because you're helping them fulfill their cookie destiny? Even if they have smiley faces on 'em? Maybe this is like... dust bunny nirvana or something.
Willow: So they want us to sneeze on them?
Xander: Or chase 'em with a broom.
Willow: Oh! Like playing tag! Only with dust bunnies and equipment.
Xander: And more exploding. Like playing tag with vampires!
Willow: Yes! And with less likelihood that they'll try to drain our blood and leave us for dead. Or at least I hope so. Otherwise today is much more complicated.
Xander: I think we've got enough news to read already without adding vampire bunnies to the pile.
Willow: Though how cute would that pile be? All wriggly noses and witty-bitty fangs and teeny game faces!
Xander: Yeah, I'm sure they'd tear our throats out adorably.
Willow: Cute is no obstacle to deadliness. Just ask panda bears.
Xander: Panda bears are deadly?
Willow: Oh they'll cut you. It's not pretty. Cute, but not pretty.
Xander: Next time I get into a bar fight with a panda I'll remember that.
Willow: I like to think that in addition to telling the news, we educate.
Xander: Speaking of that, we've got some news about education, don't we? Or were classes called on account of dust?
Willow: Don't even joke about that!
School, where neither rain nor sleet nor dust bunny attack shall stop the cause of learning!
Karal, who be no longer a horse, opens the library. Liir, who makes excellent chocolate oranges, stops by for food and hugs. Doesn't anyone go to the library for books anymore? It's all courting spills and inappropriate touching.
Xander: Seriously people, there's books in Special Collections you want to see. Especially you inappropriate touchy types.
Willow: Art History talks about Byzantine art, ironically in a straight-forward fashion. AJ and Inara pass geeky notes. Oh! That's like that time you and I passed notes in chem class that were done entirely using symbols from the Periodic table of the elements! Class then talks about how it is SO NOT COOL to destroy art. If by "art' we mean "books" I agree whole-heartedly.
Xander: I'm pretty sure those notes we were passing in chem class were... your chem notes.
Willow: Whatever it takes to help the cause of learning. The Art of Cool talked about proper ways of dressing. I'm a pants one leg at a time kind of person myself. Sure, you could try two at once but why be showy? Everyone then helped dress each other and make it fashion. Reno and Barney talked about Host Club, and then my notes say something about Ron and "five inches" and "dirty?" Which only makes sense, considering the dust bunny situation.
Xander: This is my no-touchy pole. Ten feet. Just saying.
Willow: My Country presents their countries. Which I would think would make the rest of the semester a bit of a letdown. The noble nation of Gremlinistan doesn't want to be pushed aside! It has so much to offer!
Inappropriately named club plays Scrabble, and is immediately hit by a lawsuit for getting their game anywhere near a social networking situation. People play in spite of all that. Liir and Hoshi multitask by talking about Spring Break while playing. No word on whether any of them used reports of the trip to Mexico to earn some triple word scores. Romeo and Adah also talked and played. The convenors and librarian are there to be talked with. Adah does her best with the latter. Both Karal and Inara were both happy that Karal is no longer a horse. Speaking as the girl whose boyfriend sometimes turns into a pony, I so get this.
Xander Speaking as the guy whose boyfriend's been a ferret and a sparkly ball of light in the last two weeks? Right there with ya.
Willow: Office hours are had by Juli, Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy and the office itself, which I'm told is very dusty.
Dorms, Where Karal Still Isn't A Horse
Xander: In news of other places that are probably pretty dusty, Karal woke up in the stables, naked and not a horse, and Evey found him like that. That's going around a lot today. The getting found naked thing, though I guess the not a horse thing is pretty popular too.
Willow: Does it count if you went to sleep naked? Um... just hypothetically.
Xander: Hypothetically, yes. Though when I hypothetically went to sleep I was hypothetically wearing pajamas because my hypothetical boyfriend was a hypothetical sparkly ball of light. In other hypothetical news, Beauty woke up with AJ before leaving town -- good luck, wherever you're headed -- and Adam hung out after going for a run.
Mac's game of dust bunny tag didn't work out so well, and the Peter who isn't Willow's Peter and isn't Zero's Peter told her he didn't have any dust-related powers.
Willow: You know he wouldn't try to make this dust bunny invasion all about him if he wasn't so inferior to the other Peters.
Xander: I love you but you have Issues. Meanwhile, Annette tried to talk her dust bunnies away, and Sokka found Momo Junior swimming in them. Somebody named Momo was actually cruel enough to pass that on to their kid? Later Mel stopped by; if there were smoochies I assume this Momo kid left first, but what the hell, some people like to watch. Sokka also went over to Ron's and found him being, I quote, "all weetiny." Dude, not cool. I mean, we all look, but you don't actually point it out.
It's Pam's birthday - Happy Birthday, Pam - and got a surprise. Was it a dirty surprise? Reports say Karal, John, Jim and Gavin - showed up in barbershop outfits and put on a show. That.... doesn't actually answer my question, but it sounds fun either way.
Troy got a dirty surprise from somebody who isn't a sparkly ball of light anymore. And isn't my boyfriend. Or a girl. Just in case you needed help narrowing it down.
Willow: Did you ever think we'd live in a town where we'd need to narrow down the sparkly balls of light?
Xander: No; I never thought I'd be dating one of them, either. Or living with an alien. Which I also have to narrow down since I mean the one I used to live with, not the two that live in my building now. Speaking of, after a call from Ronan who Isabel met on the beach, Michael and Wyatt found the Best Roomie Ever, aka mine, there, and there was some kind of throwdown. Then Wyatt brought Isabel back to his place and asked for an explanation. I assume it involved vampire dust bunnies and between the three of them they totally kicked undead rabbit ass, because it's the only explanation I can come up with that doesn't involve my pokey stick and anybody who tried to hurt my roomie.
Willow: In the coolest common room ever, Ino has managed to get herself into a colorful storm o' dust bunnies. Maybe when they grow up they turn into confetti?
Xander: ...Or maybe when they blow up.
And now we talk about Town, where the dust bunnies run naked and free. Wait, that wasn't a dust bunny.
Willow: Though I think the bunnies are naked too. They don't seem to be wearing little outfits.
Xander: Mike and Mary both took a Slayery kind of approach to the dust bunnies, and Lulu had Liir over for fun with cooking. He brought her a brownie and then there's something here about her making dirty sounds. Maybe a bunny exploded on it?
Willow: Here's hoping those really were raisinettes.
Xander: Sora opened Turtle & Canary, and he and Apu chased dustbunnies too, which Namine thought was funny.
Rikku opened Wellspring Arms, and Romeo stopped in to talk about singing, shoes, and dust-bunnies. Then Rikku had to tell the boss that his ...I'm allowed to say this on the air? Seriously? Awesome. His Penetraitor Harness showed up in the mail today. Now me, I'd just have used my home address, but I guess when you own the place you really don't have to explain yourself to the employees if you don't want to.
Willow: Why would you want to harness a penetraitor?
Xander: I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that hey look over in the corner - are those squirrels having a tea party with the dust bunnies?
Back at Wellspring Arms, DOOM -- should that have more O's in it? -- came by and tried to buy the harness from Cable. Um, no, Safety first, people. This is one case wehere you don't reduce, re-use, and recycle. Arashi also stopped in and asked Cable to speak in his class, and chatted with Rikku while he was there. Ino hung out on the beach, and in more Cable-related but thank God noon-harness-related news, Deadpool showed up and talked to her about minioning and Cable's dad.
Willow: Cable's dad is a minion?
Xander: Possibly? I don't judge; you've met mine. Meanwhile, Ghanima was practicing with knives in the gym, and Faith joined in. That...{*awkward pause*} was probably pretty.
Willow: Oh, sure, and I'm the one with Issues.
Xander: In less brainbreaky news, Jen opened Pizza Planet; Tom was there too, and Adam stopped by and talked to Jen about clothes, Fandom weirdness, and how people are oblivious. You think people where you come from are oblivious? Dude, visit Sunnydale sometime. Only don't because it's not there and when it is there, it sucks. Literally.
Ronan hung out in the Perk; River stopped by his table to catch up, during a slow day at the Arms.
Yitzhak, Gabriel Chad and Dr. Troy didn't get a lot of traffic at Luke's Diner, the church, Groovy Tunes and the clinic either, but Giles got visits at the Magic Box from Liir and Dawn. The Dawnster also called in to Lady Who Lives Underneath Me's show, and Liir opened Book Haven and offered Millie some squash. Reports say she loved it? But if Liir's planning on bringing me food ever, I'm voting for the cookies. Go cookies.
Willow: Or chocolate oranges. He thinks up good ones.
Xander: That does sound good. Sounds like it'd make a tasty kahlua drink, too. Speaking of fun grown-up beverages, shockingly actually consumed by a grownup tonight, Jolee opened Caritas and Mike came looking for a beer.
And in news that's not really news because you've been spoiled for it like, three times now already, Cadets Lightball, Lightball and Lightball turned back into Tate, Delgado and Carson. Which was awesome except for the naked part. Or, um, naked parts. Hoshi offered Sky her jacket to help cover his, but Ronan just PEEKED at Bridge's. Which are my parts, dude. Find your own.
And then Bridge ran over to my place where we... did some experiments. For science. As you do when your boyfriend is not a sparkleball or a ferret.
Willow: Or a pony. And that's all the news we have for tonight. Don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour tomorrow! Daylight Savings is sneaky, much like panda bears.
Xander: No holds barred knife-fight, DST and a panda. Who leaves the ring alive?
Willow: Neither. They are both killed by ninja newts before the match can even begin.
Xander: I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but why would ninja newts want to kill Daylight Savings Time? I mean I know about the ancient and terrible rivalry between the newts and the pandas, but what did poor DST ever do?
Willow: Move when darkness comes! That's very vexing to a ninja newt.
Xander: Actually that's pretty vexing to me too. It's stealing my extra hour of sleep this weekend. Down with Daylight Savings. Go newts!
Willow: And with that this is Willow Rosenberg saying good night, Fandom!
Xander: And this is Xander Harris saying Go To Bed Now. Sleep while you can.
Xander: Geblessyouheit. And this is Xander Harris.
Willow: I wish I could stop doing that. Every time I do that they explode and die. It's dusty pathos everywhere!
Xander: Maybe it's like the cookies. You how it's okay to eat chocolate chip cookies because you're helping them fulfill their cookie destiny? Even if they have smiley faces on 'em? Maybe this is like... dust bunny nirvana or something.
Willow: So they want us to sneeze on them?
Xander: Or chase 'em with a broom.
Willow: Oh! Like playing tag! Only with dust bunnies and equipment.
Xander: And more exploding. Like playing tag with vampires!
Willow: Yes! And with less likelihood that they'll try to drain our blood and leave us for dead. Or at least I hope so. Otherwise today is much more complicated.
Xander: I think we've got enough news to read already without adding vampire bunnies to the pile.
Willow: Though how cute would that pile be? All wriggly noses and witty-bitty fangs and teeny game faces!
Xander: Yeah, I'm sure they'd tear our throats out adorably.
Willow: Cute is no obstacle to deadliness. Just ask panda bears.
Xander: Panda bears are deadly?
Willow: Oh they'll cut you. It's not pretty. Cute, but not pretty.
Xander: Next time I get into a bar fight with a panda I'll remember that.
Willow: I like to think that in addition to telling the news, we educate.
Xander: Speaking of that, we've got some news about education, don't we? Or were classes called on account of dust?
Willow: Don't even joke about that!
School, where neither rain nor sleet nor dust bunny attack shall stop the cause of learning!
Karal, who be no longer a horse, opens the library. Liir, who makes excellent chocolate oranges, stops by for food and hugs. Doesn't anyone go to the library for books anymore? It's all courting spills and inappropriate touching.
Xander: Seriously people, there's books in Special Collections you want to see. Especially you inappropriate touchy types.
Willow: Art History talks about Byzantine art, ironically in a straight-forward fashion. AJ and Inara pass geeky notes. Oh! That's like that time you and I passed notes in chem class that were done entirely using symbols from the Periodic table of the elements! Class then talks about how it is SO NOT COOL to destroy art. If by "art' we mean "books" I agree whole-heartedly.
Xander: I'm pretty sure those notes we were passing in chem class were... your chem notes.
Willow: Whatever it takes to help the cause of learning. The Art of Cool talked about proper ways of dressing. I'm a pants one leg at a time kind of person myself. Sure, you could try two at once but why be showy? Everyone then helped dress each other and make it fashion. Reno and Barney talked about Host Club, and then my notes say something about Ron and "five inches" and "dirty?" Which only makes sense, considering the dust bunny situation.
Xander: This is my no-touchy pole. Ten feet. Just saying.
Willow: My Country presents their countries. Which I would think would make the rest of the semester a bit of a letdown. The noble nation of Gremlinistan doesn't want to be pushed aside! It has so much to offer!
Inappropriately named club plays Scrabble, and is immediately hit by a lawsuit for getting their game anywhere near a social networking situation. People play in spite of all that. Liir and Hoshi multitask by talking about Spring Break while playing. No word on whether any of them used reports of the trip to Mexico to earn some triple word scores. Romeo and Adah also talked and played. The convenors and librarian are there to be talked with. Adah does her best with the latter. Both Karal and Inara were both happy that Karal is no longer a horse. Speaking as the girl whose boyfriend sometimes turns into a pony, I so get this.
Xander Speaking as the guy whose boyfriend's been a ferret and a sparkly ball of light in the last two weeks? Right there with ya.
Willow: Office hours are had by Juli, Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy and the office itself, which I'm told is very dusty.
Dorms, Where Karal Still Isn't A Horse
Xander: In news of other places that are probably pretty dusty, Karal woke up in the stables, naked and not a horse, and Evey found him like that. That's going around a lot today. The getting found naked thing, though I guess the not a horse thing is pretty popular too.
Willow: Does it count if you went to sleep naked? Um... just hypothetically.
Xander: Hypothetically, yes. Though when I hypothetically went to sleep I was hypothetically wearing pajamas because my hypothetical boyfriend was a hypothetical sparkly ball of light. In other hypothetical news, Beauty woke up with AJ before leaving town -- good luck, wherever you're headed -- and Adam hung out after going for a run.
Mac's game of dust bunny tag didn't work out so well, and the Peter who isn't Willow's Peter and isn't Zero's Peter told her he didn't have any dust-related powers.
Willow: You know he wouldn't try to make this dust bunny invasion all about him if he wasn't so inferior to the other Peters.
Xander: I love you but you have Issues. Meanwhile, Annette tried to talk her dust bunnies away, and Sokka found Momo Junior swimming in them. Somebody named Momo was actually cruel enough to pass that on to their kid? Later Mel stopped by; if there were smoochies I assume this Momo kid left first, but what the hell, some people like to watch. Sokka also went over to Ron's and found him being, I quote, "all weetiny." Dude, not cool. I mean, we all look, but you don't actually point it out.
It's Pam's birthday - Happy Birthday, Pam - and got a surprise. Was it a dirty surprise? Reports say Karal, John, Jim and Gavin - showed up in barbershop outfits and put on a show. That.... doesn't actually answer my question, but it sounds fun either way.
Troy got a dirty surprise from somebody who isn't a sparkly ball of light anymore. And isn't my boyfriend. Or a girl. Just in case you needed help narrowing it down.
Willow: Did you ever think we'd live in a town where we'd need to narrow down the sparkly balls of light?
Xander: No; I never thought I'd be dating one of them, either. Or living with an alien. Which I also have to narrow down since I mean the one I used to live with, not the two that live in my building now. Speaking of, after a call from Ronan who Isabel met on the beach, Michael and Wyatt found the Best Roomie Ever, aka mine, there, and there was some kind of throwdown. Then Wyatt brought Isabel back to his place and asked for an explanation. I assume it involved vampire dust bunnies and between the three of them they totally kicked undead rabbit ass, because it's the only explanation I can come up with that doesn't involve my pokey stick and anybody who tried to hurt my roomie.
Willow: In the coolest common room ever, Ino has managed to get herself into a colorful storm o' dust bunnies. Maybe when they grow up they turn into confetti?
Xander: ...Or maybe when they blow up.
And now we talk about Town, where the dust bunnies run naked and free. Wait, that wasn't a dust bunny.
Willow: Though I think the bunnies are naked too. They don't seem to be wearing little outfits.
Xander: Mike and Mary both took a Slayery kind of approach to the dust bunnies, and Lulu had Liir over for fun with cooking. He brought her a brownie and then there's something here about her making dirty sounds. Maybe a bunny exploded on it?
Willow: Here's hoping those really were raisinettes.
Xander: Sora opened Turtle & Canary, and he and Apu chased dustbunnies too, which Namine thought was funny.
Rikku opened Wellspring Arms, and Romeo stopped in to talk about singing, shoes, and dust-bunnies. Then Rikku had to tell the boss that his ...I'm allowed to say this on the air? Seriously? Awesome. His Penetraitor Harness showed up in the mail today. Now me, I'd just have used my home address, but I guess when you own the place you really don't have to explain yourself to the employees if you don't want to.
Willow: Why would you want to harness a penetraitor?
Xander: I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that hey look over in the corner - are those squirrels having a tea party with the dust bunnies?
Back at Wellspring Arms, DOOM -- should that have more O's in it? -- came by and tried to buy the harness from Cable. Um, no, Safety first, people. This is one case wehere you don't reduce, re-use, and recycle. Arashi also stopped in and asked Cable to speak in his class, and chatted with Rikku while he was there. Ino hung out on the beach, and in more Cable-related but thank God noon-harness-related news, Deadpool showed up and talked to her about minioning and Cable's dad.
Willow: Cable's dad is a minion?
Xander: Possibly? I don't judge; you've met mine. Meanwhile, Ghanima was practicing with knives in the gym, and Faith joined in. That...{*awkward pause*} was probably pretty.
Willow: Oh, sure, and I'm the one with Issues.
Xander: In less brainbreaky news, Jen opened Pizza Planet; Tom was there too, and Adam stopped by and talked to Jen about clothes, Fandom weirdness, and how people are oblivious. You think people where you come from are oblivious? Dude, visit Sunnydale sometime. Only don't because it's not there and when it is there, it sucks. Literally.
Ronan hung out in the Perk; River stopped by his table to catch up, during a slow day at the Arms.
Yitzhak, Gabriel Chad and Dr. Troy didn't get a lot of traffic at Luke's Diner, the church, Groovy Tunes and the clinic either, but Giles got visits at the Magic Box from Liir and Dawn. The Dawnster also called in to Lady Who Lives Underneath Me's show, and Liir opened Book Haven and offered Millie some squash. Reports say she loved it? But if Liir's planning on bringing me food ever, I'm voting for the cookies. Go cookies.
Willow: Or chocolate oranges. He thinks up good ones.
Xander: That does sound good. Sounds like it'd make a tasty kahlua drink, too. Speaking of fun grown-up beverages, shockingly actually consumed by a grownup tonight, Jolee opened Caritas and Mike came looking for a beer.
And in news that's not really news because you've been spoiled for it like, three times now already, Cadets Lightball, Lightball and Lightball turned back into Tate, Delgado and Carson. Which was awesome except for the naked part. Or, um, naked parts. Hoshi offered Sky her jacket to help cover his, but Ronan just PEEKED at Bridge's. Which are my parts, dude. Find your own.
And then Bridge ran over to my place where we... did some experiments. For science. As you do when your boyfriend is not a sparkleball or a ferret.
Willow: Or a pony. And that's all the news we have for tonight. Don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour tomorrow! Daylight Savings is sneaky, much like panda bears.
Xander: No holds barred knife-fight, DST and a panda. Who leaves the ring alive?
Willow: Neither. They are both killed by ninja newts before the match can even begin.
Xander: I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but why would ninja newts want to kill Daylight Savings Time? I mean I know about the ancient and terrible rivalry between the newts and the pandas, but what did poor DST ever do?
Willow: Move when darkness comes! That's very vexing to a ninja newt.
Xander: Actually that's pretty vexing to me too. It's stealing my extra hour of sleep this weekend. Down with Daylight Savings. Go newts!
Willow: And with that this is Willow Rosenberg saying good night, Fandom!
Xander: And this is Xander Harris saying Go To Bed Now. Sleep while you can.