The Art of Cool: Class 8, Period 2 (Friday, March 7)
Barney missed Mexico, but lucky for the class, he and Tink had brought along a few reminders. Like the picture of Ron watching porn, and the picture of Brooke, drunk and locked out of her hotel room. Both pictures were on the display when students arrived.
"I'm so proud of our TA, aren't you, Ms. Bell?" Barney asked, smiling broadly at the screen.
Oh! Oh, Tink was! His first porn! He was growing up! And that girl had gotten very drunk! Drinking and pornography, these were the sorts of educational school-sponsored field trips that they should take more often! Excuse her, she was a little stuffed up. Did someone have a handkerchief?
He offered her his pocket square, thought it was rather bigger than her body. "I do have one question, what was up with your employee in the scary 1980s Hawaii-50 shirts?"
Tink was severely displeased with that. Tink was going to pretend that that was a sign that all of his luggage was stolen when they got to Mexico, and his money caught on fire, and he was reduced to wearing clothes left over from hobos, to cover up a nasty skin rash that prevented him from walking around naked. Because otherwise Tink might have to take back that raise, and he was so very pretty and seemed to be good with the promiscuous sex and had Barney heard him talk? He talked fancy.
"Why don't we talk about the clothing that will help a student on the road to being cool. Nay, Awesome! For Awesome is what we must all aspire to become! Well, other than the frog, who will always be green and rather small."
And somewhat disturbing. Did Barney notice the frog was disturbing? Really. Felt. But yes! Clothing! She had brought some with her! All the way from her store downtown and wasn't that ever so nice of her, to bring it here? Racks of it. Very chic and expensive and if these dense students damaged any of it she was going to remove bits of them. Bits they were fond of. Diane Von Furstenberg was not Jordache, and they could show a little respect.
Barney turned to whisper loudly to Tink, "Has the bait been set?"
Tink beamed. Yes, yes it had! She'd rescued some items from the Burning Fire Room, and even requested items to be sent by suppliers that ... well. She'd need more absinthe to speak of those horrors. But yes, there were some truly hideous clothes stuck in there just waiting for the students to trip themselves up with.
"Excellent!" Barney rubbed his hands together like the evil genius he thought himself to be. "Remember, dressing each other is both entertaining and educational. What's hot on Robin Sparkles isn't going to be hot on Robin the Frog."
And absolutely nothing would be hot on the TA. Now! Dress yourselves, children! And one another! And try not to suck too badly. As always.
[OOC: We really want pancakes.]