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Five Years
I've just filled a five year journal. Of course I did. This moment was inevitable. I can't say "time goes by so fast" or "I can't believe I actually filled in five years". I'm living this moment just like any other. What does that teach me?
What have I learned in five years? How have I changed? In most ways I haven't changed at all. I'm always ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
The Thrashing
I look at you
I see the framework
an intelligent design
your chassis
made of culture and words
It's polished
a perfect game
we've agreed to play
you hid something long ago
you hid it so well but you could
possibly find it again
if we weren't so goddamned civilized
What goal do we pusuit
that would have us suffer in consent
Something at the end of ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Removed Tinder: check
Disabled OKcupid: check
Dating is a waking nightmare: check
All gay men are horrible, insincere twats: check
Ice cream and self-love forever and ever: check -
The big G
I've been gluten free for about a week. It's hard to discuss this with anyone because most people think the whole gluten thing is just another passing diet fad, or I'm just a crazy hippy over-obsessing about my diet. So I'll write about it here. I've done a lot of self experimenting, and have definitely come to the conclusion that gluten affects me ( Read more... ) -
singing machine
I see my friends grow stale. We have trouble establishing connections. Our routines are hard wired. It's a very particular feeling, growing older. I look at a coworker in her gym shorts and suddenly the universe and my place in it clicks into place. Of course I'm alive. Of course I'm here, right now. I'm here and everything else is out there. And ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
"when we live entirely unconcealed, life flows and we don’t get stuck in dynamics that don’t work for us." -
nothing else will do
When you become so aware of every moment, and then aware of the awareness and time kind of folds in on itself, each moment serving only to predict the next. Life feels routine. And no matter how badly I want an escape I can not find one ( Read more... ) -
art
Lately I try to draw at least a little bit each day. I don't really know why I do it, but I know it makes me feel better when I try to sleep at night. Here's some stuff from the last couple weeks.
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(Untitled)
The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.
It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth in numberless blades of grass and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth and of death ( Read more... )
