I know this is the wrong place to go, but maybe this will help me to take the actions I need to take in order to straighten things out. I'm upset with my husband right now, and it's not really his fault. It's just that I didn't have that much of a life before our baby came and I'm set to have even less now, but he had a relatively good set-up ( Read more... )

2007 was a bang-up year with many new babies added to our lives including my own amazing, beautiful son. He's six weeks old now and I've loved being his mother. I'm getting a bit overwhelmed though, not only by being the main (90%) caregiver for him, but the drama in other parts of my life that has piled in on top since his birth. And he's ( Read more... )

My sweet pea is sleeping, as usual for him. He sleeps until Daddy comes home which happens to be right this very moment - we'll see if he wakes up. He arrived, born at home, on November 29th. What a blessing he is.

There is a wall in front of me right now. It feels like my breathing. In and out, stable, but permeable. I've been frustrated with my husband tonight and have not opened the space to understand why. I've been feeling a strong need to check-out lately, to not care well for myself. I don't really understand this. My husband doesn't like it. ( Read more... )

On NPR today there was a StoryCore recording of a Mom and her grown son. They talked about her 3 bouts with cancer starting with when the boy was young. The mom wished with all her heart that her children hadn't had to deal with the possibility of losing their mother at such a young age ( Read more... )

focus always changes with life, doesn't it? I guess if I were to write more often I would write about things other than babies, but considering the little I do write and the experience of life before baby and while expecting baby I wish to record this time that I won't ever be able to return to. Not that one returns or is able to ever return to a ( Read more... )

When I very very first found out I was pregnant (with a not planned, but not unwanted pregnancy) I was ecstatic. It was so exciting to be joining the ranks of mothers gone before, and to finally know (soon) what was like to be pregnant and carrying a child. I didn't tell S for most of two days. We had friends coming over with new babies and I ( Read more... )

My baby is kicking this morning. It's been a healthy pregnancy with the few problems I've had being related to what seems to be pinched nerves. The one spot that had been bothering be since week 10 seems to have gone away, but a new one has come in its place, and the new one is worse. This numb, achy spot is about the size of a medium potato and ( Read more... )

This space is so odd, because it's my journal - my place to write and explore myself, yet the fact that it's public changes things. Changes how I write and what I say. Do I depend on others input? I think more it's the thought of people in my life reading this and taking more from these pages than may be written here. Also though, it's because ( Read more... )

Perhaps here I can work to maintain myself, seeing as that's not working as well as I would like otherwise. I'm reading this book that talks about differentiating yourself from your partner and your family, friends, & loved ones, and that in doing this you can be closer to those you love, because you maintain your integrity - who you are - and don ( Read more... )