(no subject)
Perhaps here I can work to maintain myself, seeing as that's not working as well as I would like otherwise. I'm reading this book that talks about differentiating yourself from your partner and your family, friends, & loved ones, and that in doing this you can be closer to those you love, because you maintain your integrity - who you are - and don't worry about being consumed by others. I felt very much that I lost a lot of myself when I moved and I've had a difficult time recreating that self. While I admire myself I don't hold onto my beliefs and values very strongly - I tend to let them slide more often than I would like. I think S does this as well. We're still working on how to be ourselves while we're together.
I recognized in myself the tendency to adapt to the person I was with at the time. I thought that having this long-distance relationship with S helped to avoid that - we were still living our lives yet we were together. I glossed over the fact that we each abandoned our lives, families and friends to be with each other every weekend - claiming we needed to do that because we saw each other so seldom. Claiming still that our constant togetherness is just a by-product of having courted apart for so long and getting use to living together, but at which point does it change from getting-use-to to what-we've-always-done? We need to realize ways to develop ourselves and to stand on our own two feet. I'm excited about this. We'll see how it goes.
I recognized in myself the tendency to adapt to the person I was with at the time. I thought that having this long-distance relationship with S helped to avoid that - we were still living our lives yet we were together. I glossed over the fact that we each abandoned our lives, families and friends to be with each other every weekend - claiming we needed to do that because we saw each other so seldom. Claiming still that our constant togetherness is just a by-product of having courted apart for so long and getting use to living together, but at which point does it change from getting-use-to to what-we've-always-done? We need to realize ways to develop ourselves and to stand on our own two feet. I'm excited about this. We'll see how it goes.