AMC--Chapter Fifty-One

Apr 21, 2006 08:33

I have decided to divide the last part of AMC into two posts. It is simply too long for a single posting, and I wish also to tinker a bit with next week's chapter, as there is a rather important event that deserves more attention than I--in the rush of finishing a 350K-word novel--was willing to give it at first ( Read more... )

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Comments 26

oloriel April 21 2006, 14:41:55 UTC
Oh, wow.

The contrast between the light-hearted silliness of the family splashing in the fountain (... and me wanting to join them, for more than one reason *shifty eyes*) and the heavy awkwardness that come over them when Rúmil makes his appearance is wonderfully done. And oh, that last paragraph is cruel. Poor Rúmil.

I love the idea of an Elvish sign language.

And I love Carnistir in the end of this chapter, which is quite a compliment, because he's usually the one of the brothers whom I care about least. But then, he has grown on me a lot through AMC already, anyway...

Why must it end so soon? *wibbles*

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dawn_felagund April 21 2006, 16:08:00 UTC
First of all, thank you! Reading the first reviews, I have a big grin right now. This has made my morning that is otherwise filled with warrants and drudgery. :)

I think that fountain is going to grow pretty crowded. First of all, I am in there. (Only I didn't write myself into the story, but someone had to be there to observe it, right? ;^D) Now I think that you, Alina, Rhapsody, and the Unsung Heroine are in there are well. ;)

Now I imagine Feanor looking at all of us and going, "WTF??" ;))

I love the idea of an Elvish sign language.

I think it will be very practical for the boys too, while hunting. And later, in combat situations. :^/

And I love Carnistir in the end of this chapter, which is quite a compliment, because he's usually the one of the brothers whom I care about least. But then, he has grown on me a lot through AMC already, anyway...Enough to call your cousin after him! That is still one of the most delightful stories I have heard all year. I think about it sometimes and just start laughing ( ... )

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ann_arien April 21 2006, 16:43:50 UTC
I think that fountain is going to grow pretty crowded. First of all, I am in there. (Only I didn't write myself into the story, but someone had to be there to observe it, right? ;^D) Now I think that you, Alina, Rhapsody, and the Unsung Heroine are in there are well. ;)

Now I imagine Feanor looking at all of us and going, "WTF??" ;))

He, he... And I'd be like: "You mean WTF am I still doing here in the fountain, with my kids and not in... *insert Feanor fangurl fantasy here*?"

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oloriel April 21 2006, 16:54:30 UTC
I think that fountain is going to grow pretty crowded.

Yes, that sounds like a hell of a pool party indeed! *snickers*

Enough to call your cousin after him!

... yes. That was actually rather embarrassing, because I had to explain more than once why I was saying "Car--- Lorenzo" all the time.

Soon the other stories in the series will follow

Really? Phew! *happy again*

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ann_arien April 21 2006, 14:50:15 UTC
Good Gods, Dawn, you are so unfair to us? How can you write an post such unbelievably beautiful chapters now, of all times, when we know that the end is so near? *sigh* Reading today's post was an experience I can't quite describe with words, except for the fact that I feel really good and really happy, right now, after having finished it. Beautiful, wonderful, great, Wow... the words don't do this chapter justice.

“That is tempting,” says Macalaurë, jerking his head in the direction of the fountain. “To be so young to be excused-” and he hasn’t even the chance to finish his thought before Atar is leaping from the ground, tearing his tunic over his head, and racing to tumble into the fountain with his two youngest sons, who shriek with joy and latch onto him like the fat leeches we found in a pond once in Formenos, that Tyelkormo tormented poor Macalaurë with, driving him into a tree for fear of the things. I laugh and consider the stretch between the shade of our tree and the fountain: It quivers with molten, golden light, but like ( ... )

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dawn_felagund April 21 2006, 16:23:50 UTC
Thank you, Alina, for your wonderfully kind words! {{{{{{{{{Alina}}}}}}}}} As I told oloriel above, these first four comments have really made my morning. I am grinnin' like a fool! 8^D

Oh, Dawn, I love them. Thanks to your story, they've long ceased being just fictional characters. They feel like real people to me and I love them. I LOVE HIM. And it's all your fault.

*blushes and shifts around* This was what I set out to do, so this is really the highest compliment that I can get. I had been so frustrating with the litany of shallow evil!Feanorian stories out there that I had to take on the challenge to see if I could do differently. And so we have AMC. :)

And I will gladly accept the blame for making you love Feanor all the more. ;)

Vorondil made me laugh, trying to be dignified and all, when all he wished was to join the others in the water. And I loved the fact that Feanaro treated him no differently from his sons.Vorondil plays a pretty big role later in the story, to the extent that I have even considered writing a story about just ( ... )

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ann_arien April 21 2006, 16:50:58 UTC
Thank you, Alina, for your wonderfully kind words! {{{{{{{{{Alina}}}}}}}}} As I told oloriel above, these first four comments have really made my morning. I am grinnin' like a fool! 8^D

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dawn}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You deserve to be grinning like a fool. That's what I was doing, while reading the chapter. Grinning like a love sick fool. :D

(Who I think is probably also going commando to the festivities, knowing him!)

O, yea! Let me at him! Let me at him! Whoa, the things I'd do to that Elf if I caught him going commando... anywhere!

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atanwende April 21 2006, 14:58:51 UTC
Oh, Dawn. This is beautiful in so many ways. I think it's one of the best chapters you've written for AMC. Not that the others weren't good, but in my opinion there were simpy some who stood out, and this one is definitely among them! :)

The beginning is wonderful. It fits so well with the weather we have today; a fine warm spring day at last, and after all those cold weaks one cannot imagine that it will get even warmer yet. I love Feanor jumping into the fountain. And I love it when Vorondil finally joins them. In fact, I had to laugh out loud.

Squeezing his fingers, gently, so not to wake him, I whisper, “May you never remember it.”

Phrases like that almost kill me everytime I read them. Just like Nelyo thinking about the children he and Macalaure will have. *sobs*

I think Carnistir "Invisible" custome is priceless. Hehe. ;)

Nelyo wear nothing under his custome? O.o *must not have naughty thoughts ( ... )

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dawn_felagund April 21 2006, 16:32:48 UTC
It's one of my favorite chapters too. :) The funny thing is that this whole section was written about last September, and yet--come April--I didn't remember it very well. So it was quite a surprise to read it and discover that it was actually pretty good. A fitting conclusion to this first story in the epic, I hope. :)

I think Carnistir "Invisible" custome is priceless. Hehe. ;)

Credit for that actually goes to my sister! She dressed up as Invisible one year for Halloween: She wore all black, painted all exposed skin black, and put on a pair of black sunglasses. It was really creepy!

Nelyo wear nothing under his custome? O.o *must not have naughty thoughts*

Oh, but why? I had plenty of them while I was writing it. >;^D

When Rúmil appears the whole atmosphere of the chapter seems to change.

I was going to say "Yay!" but then I thought it might be perceived as rude that I was glad that you were feeling such apprehension. ;)

Of course, you're a writer too...you know how it goes...so "Yay!" :^D

I really liked Carnistir's reaction ( ... )

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atanwende April 21 2006, 17:48:46 UTC
Credit for that actually goes to my sister! She dressed up as Invisible one year for Halloween

That's a cool idea. I have to admit I'm shockingly uncreative when it comes to Halloween parties; I usually come dressed all in black and use even more eyeliner than normally. :-P

Oh, but why? I had plenty of them while I was writing it. >;^D

Well then... *has naughty thoughts* ;)

Just so you know, after I typed that, I stared at your Carni icon for a solid minute. And I think I drooled a little. ;)

Hehe. Just don't tell the Noldo. He will be unbearable. ;-P

Thank you so very much for your kind words! This truly made my morning! :)

You're more than welcome. I've enjoyed this chapter immensely. :)

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tarion_anarore April 21 2006, 20:50:45 UTC
Just don't tell the Noldo. He will be unbearable. ;-P

Wait, he always is! ;)

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rhapsody11 April 21 2006, 15:25:35 UTC
guh...

and Macalaurë emerges, his tunic half unlaced and his chest damp, to join us in the shade.

yeah baby!

and he hasn’t even the chance to finish his thought before Atar is leaping from the ground, tearing his tunic over his head, and racing to tumble into the fountain with his two youngest sons, who shriek with joy

*thud*

tearing off my tunic as I go, and splash into the fountain before remembering that I still wear my boots.

Sweet Eru...

“You are both mad!” comes the shout from Macalaurë, across the garden, but it is only a few minutes before he has joined us,

Are you trying to kill me LOL I need a cold drink, no shower..

Ah and much Tyelko goodness, I especially loved this bit

“Fireflies,” Tyelkormo counters, his voice surprisingly faint, his head outside of the circle, “for they are tangible. Stars are not tangible.” I see a deeper darkness quivering against his shadowy hands, as the moth plays its feather-soft wings against his skin.Not only this visual is great, but the foreshadowing is giving me the chills. The ( ... )

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dawn_felagund April 21 2006, 16:46:11 UTC
Are you trying to kill me LOL I need a cold drink, no shower..

*evol snicker*
*proffers cold drink*

Yes, the fountain part seem to have been quite popular. I think it would provide a nice visual in AMC: The Movie. ;)

Not only this visual is great, but the foreshadowing is giving me the chills. The brief moment between Tyelkormo and Maitimo was just magnificent, Turko slowly starts to stand on his own.

Yep, Turko grows up a lot in this story. :) At the beginning, he only wanted to cling to his father and his Nelyo; now he has started to realize that he is different from them, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Only he will have to be a bit more independent in order to fully realize his potential.

But, this... oh.. *snif*

I added that this morning too because I didn't like the abrupt ending to that section. I'm glad that I did. :)

And this, oh my Dawn! I need to get to that festival!

You and me both! But we'll get to go next week in the story, at least. ;)

(And next week's chapter is rated adult.... >:^D)

I never thought ( ... )

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rhapsody11 April 21 2006, 22:11:46 UTC
Yes, the fountain part seem to have been quite popular. I think it would provide a nice visual in AMC: The Movie. ;)

Can I get on the pay roll for that? LOL But what you write is a great visual Dawn. The first line about yummy Maglor made my dirty mind all wubble and at the end I had to retrieve it out of the gutter ;)

Yep, Turko grows up a lot in this story. :) At the beginning, he only wanted to cling to his father and his Nelyo; now he has started to realize that he is different from them, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Only he will have to be a bit more independent in order to fully realize his potential.

Ah yeah, but still, you know :) He's growing up so fast... oh and another thing that made me wonder a bit... Him and dressed up as a deer... with antlers. It made me think about celtic legend about the young stag defeating the old stag when the young stag is old enough... I thought, how typical. It might be far-fetched, so ignore my rambling.

You and me both! But we'll get to go next week in the story, at least. ;) ( ... )

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dawn_felagund April 22 2006, 02:48:45 UTC
It made me think about celtic legend about the young stag defeating the old stag when the young stag is old enough... I thought, how typical. It might be far-fetched, so ignore my rambling.

Hey, I think that's kind of cool. I'm not familiar with Celtic legends, so I'd never heard it before. :)

Check. Hmmm what will you be wearing?

As little as possible.

*AHEM* What I meant to say was maybe just the traditional little black dress? ;)

Oh and I didn't had that much time, but I will get back at you for the comments on the other chapters... o.O..

That's okay 'cause I'm still catching up on yours too! It's been a busy week, but I'm looking forward to a long, leisurely weekend with some catch-up time. :)

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digdigil April 21 2006, 16:04:27 UTC
Oh Gods, Dawn, this was so fabulous! I swear, the image of Feanor and sons (and Vorondil) cavorting in the fountain was so sweet and terribly poignant because I just imagined all the sons gathered around Feanor after his battle with the Balrog, while I was reading it. But I have to ask (of course) were they all naked in the fountain or just Vorondil?

This was the saddest line in the chapter for me:

Findekano departed last night, and I am sorry for him now, for Tirion must be even hotter than here

Will my baby be making another appearance? Don't mind me. It's okay if he doesn't.

“Vorondil!” Atar hollers to him. “For Eru’s sake! You are worse than a cocklebur in the seat of my shorts!”

Okay, that conjured up unbearably adorable images.

Laurelin has just faded, and it is the darkest part of the evening. The air smells sweetly alive, of grass and trees, green things that had rejoiced in the intense heat and light of afternoon. We do not even spread blankets between us and the ground but lie directly on the cool grass, letting ( ... )

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ann_arien April 21 2006, 16:41:04 UTC
I know they're all brotherly and everything, but oh Gods! That is giving me very bad, evol plotbunnies about slashing the two of them, especially since I mentioned in a comment to Alina a while ago doing that exact same thing!!!

Two words, Jenni: DO IT! *crosses fingers*

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digdigil April 21 2006, 18:25:20 UTC
Okay, okay, I'm gonna do it. I don't have to work tomorrow, so I'll sit down and write a quickie.

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dawn_felagund April 21 2006, 17:24:47 UTC
But I have to ask (of course) were they all naked in the fountain or just Vorondil?

Lol, I think Vorondil kept on his underwear, so they're all clothed in some way. (He's the only one of them too prissy to go about in wet trousers.) The others, I think (without rereading it) only took off their shirts.

However, if you prefer in your own version of AMC for them to have been naked, they can be. ;)

Will my baby be making another appearance? Don't mind me. It's okay if he doesn't.

He's in the last sentence of the prologue. ;)

I know they're all brotherly and everything, but oh Gods! That is giving me very bad, evol plotbunnies about slashing the two of them, especially since I mentioned in a comment to Alina a while ago doing that exact same thing!!!

*echoes Alina* Do it! :^D

I knew that part would drive you nuts, btw. Although I did intend for it only to be brotherly love. Of course. >;^]

But oh, Eru, the description of Maitimo dressing in his costume and painting his face - *THUD*

Yeah, I know it's like not at all apparent that ( ... )

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