Maybe, just maybe we can get back to what we were. Get back to, what was. Before life and responsibilities became the forefront of our minds, mostly mine. Before all that we built together, began the slow decline into darkness. I have this beauty, this woman who I cannot get enough of. Her mind a seduction to my soul. I made so many mistakes and I ( Read more... )

I don't have us in mind? I don't have the couples' better interest at heart? Seriously so over this bull shit at this point. You enjoy pissing me off for some reason. You love to cause me pain, there is no other reason you would do this on a regular basis to me. I do not understand why. You tell me to try writing, journaling. So fine, here goes ( Read more... )

I need to start writing again in this thing. I have so much going on that it is hard to fathom let alone even deal with. Then there is my head. I think I will take Ammie's advice and start journaling more. I won't get into great detail just yet, but soon, very soon I will.

Since I refuse to talk to you, maybe just fucking maybe I can make you understand. You posted recently that you couldn't understand why I didnt talk about you. Why should I? Why should I talk about one of the worst times in my life? Publicly or not? Why would I give you five lines when so much else is important to me? You drove me to points that no ( Read more... )

For your sake, I will not post this to facebook. I need to not call you out publicly for what has transpired. I know some of my friends read this, and hopefully this will clarify where I am right now. I hope to anyways. I so need to understand what in the hell is happening and why me ( Read more... )

What if you were caught in a nightmare that you seemed to never wake from. This depression is killing me slowly. I cannot seem to pick up where I have left off from anymore. I seem to only work and sleep now, it is all I can do to barely get up in the morning now for work. I have no drive for myself anymore. I think I have given up on myself ( Read more... )

This one is called Again ( Read more... )

I could fight with you until the end, I could fight to make you see my point, but where would that get either of us in this moment? Where would that get me? Single in the end in a matter of weeks or months? I am so lost right now. I am so confused. I am so depressed right here in this moment. This is causing my soul to cry out in vain. This is ( Read more... )

I got to be true to myself. I need to decide what is best for me at this point. There are certain things that have caught my eye as of late. What is it that it will take just to make me happy anymore. Is it this move to Colorado that all of a sudden she can no longer make up her mind on, or is staying here and hopefully transferring my job to ( Read more... )

Okay. I am all out of sorts right now. I am not sure how to even put these thoughts to my own journal. I am pensive, I am tense, I am above all angry. I cannot control my emotions today. They seem to have run away from me in this cold and wet afternoon. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to tell God to go fuck himself. I want to just have a ( Read more... )