i'm so fucking grateful for the internet. i've always been a collector by nature, not out of a lust for material possessions, although i'm sure thats probably part of it. it's just that i love music and always thirst for new music, new music, more, more, more. it's the same with books, comics, movies, art...i love these things. i can't imagine ( Read more... )

Singling out one person in this household for being insane seems kind of pointless, kind of like highlighting fluorescent yellow text, but the grandmother has made the seemingly impossible possible. Chronicling the endless minutiae of her insanity would require a diary unto itself but a recent event seemed worthy of remembering ( Read more... )

i try not to think about it but sometimes i can't escape it. i don't know what i'm doing, or if i'm doing the right thing, or if i'm just a fool. i'm 31 years old and i still don't know what i want to be when i grow up. it was still marginally cute in my 20s but not so much anymore. i guess i've made my decision though and should accept it. i' ( Read more... )

almost finished with the quarter. my composition teacher told me today that i should be going to a real university. been thinking about it. dunno what my chances of getting into someplace prestigious are, but i know i can at least get into csun. will probably go ahead and apply to caltech, ucla and usc...maybe one of the uc's...uc santa barbara is ( Read more... )

sometimes i just don't know what to do with myself. i'm a terminally boring human being. i'm a shell, a robot with only the most primitive programming. dead behind the eyes. somebodys home but the lights aren't on ( Read more... )

sorry, diary, for my extended silence. my life is a nonevent. i haven't worked since i arrived in california nine months ago. i'm a full-time student and an extremely broke one at that. with gas nearing $4 a gallon and a weekly 240-mile commute (80 miles round trip three days a week) i can't really afford to drive anywhere particularly interesting ( Read more... )

a little friendly advice. i've underlined some key points for you.


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It would take 42 glasses of Red Wine to kill me
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brown smoke hung over the mountains. it made the sunny san gabriels look dark and forboding, like mordor. as i drove further down the mountains that brown smoke cloud crept up the sky like a curtain. i watched the sun slide behind it and turn darker and darker orange and finally bright, bright red. like the reddest fucking red you ever saw. i left ( Read more... )

borrowed some cash from my dad and got the car fixed. missed class on tuesday but made it thursday and go again tomorrow afternoon. i'm feeling very motivated. hopefully it lasts.