there is only so far you can get with emails and phone calls.
yes, that is true. I have an intense need for physical touch, and sadly for Ben he's the only local friend I have so he has to bear the whole burden. I believe though that one or more of my LJ friendships will develop into real, face-to-face friendships... And I know that it only takes a week to turn a friendship from LJ to face-to-face. If Anika hadn't withdrawn immediately after her visit, we'd have been so amazingly close. I know that without a doubt, somehow, and I look forward intensely to meeting other friends because I feel that it will only take spending a relatively short time together to fuse the bond that we have already developed, and after that bond is fused, the distance will still hurt but it will no longer be a determining factor in the relationship.
I thought of some more to add. Obviously I have a lot to say about this topic as I suppose it is one ver cloise to my heart that I do not speak of
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I have ALWAYS been the one to extend myself whether it be with friends or boyfriends. Always calling people and meeting them more than halfway both literally and figuratively.
I know how that is -- that's how I was my whole life until the past year, and it was so incredibly frustrating. I felt like I just wasn't good enough to be loved for who I was, just for what I did. And therefore I was terrified of making mistakes because I expected to be dropped, dismissed, forgotten for them. Often I was
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I have never ever been pursued. Not by friends or boyfriends. I really can't imagine that happening as I have no reference point. In my head I like to be pursued or at least it would seem that way. Aloof has never been something I can pull off. I am so fed up with always being the one who does everything.
I definitely have issues with self-worth. Sometimes I think I am ok but most of the time I just feel disposable and crappy.
I don't really have a hard time giving up on people. I tend to have a revolving door of friendships and when it gets too tough I'm over it. Kind of like what I have going on with Audrey and John right now. I have no one else to call so sometimes I talk to them but I don't feel like they are my true friends. We are definitely not from the same tribe. They just don't get me.
Maybe someday I will have the types of friendships I long for but the older I get the more discouraged I feel because time passes and nothing changes.I don't know if it will be any comfort, but I have found them, after seeking my whole life and feeling despair of ever finding them... it hurts a lot that they are all over the globe and I can't ACT on the cuddles, but it is comforting to know that they are there and that they would if they could. I am determined that within two years I will live near a cuddly friend. I will I will I will, because this is a goal that I am willing to fight for. How important is it to you to have a friend like this? is it something you are willing to move for
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Believe it or not, Ian and I have discussed moving to Georgia. Not that it is realistic because we are in debt, have zero savings and are living hand to mouth
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This is probably why I never comingle my friends and prefer that they don't know one another because there is always some thing that happens that makes me feel weird.I used to feel exactly that way... and my friends used to cling to each other and run off without me. Maybe it's the expectation that makes it happen
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yes, that is true. I have an intense need for physical touch, and sadly for Ben he's the only local friend I have so he has to bear the whole burden. I believe though that one or more of my LJ friendships will develop into real, face-to-face friendships... And I know that it only takes a week to turn a friendship from LJ to face-to-face. If Anika hadn't withdrawn immediately after her visit, we'd have been so amazingly close. I know that without a doubt, somehow, and I look forward intensely to meeting other friends because I feel that it will only take spending a relatively short time together to fuse the bond that we have already developed, and after that bond is fused, the distance will still hurt but it will no longer be a determining factor in the relationship.
heh, that was probably totally incoherent, sorry!
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I know how that is -- that's how I was my whole life until the past year, and it was so incredibly frustrating. I felt like I just wasn't good enough to be loved for who I was, just for what I did. And therefore I was terrified of making mistakes because I expected to be dropped, dismissed, forgotten for them. Often I was ( ... )
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I definitely have issues with self-worth. Sometimes I think I am ok but most of the time I just feel disposable and crappy.
I don't really have a hard time giving up on people. I tend to have a revolving door of friendships and when it gets too tough I'm over it. Kind of like what I have going on with Audrey and John right now. I have no one else to call so sometimes I talk to them but I don't feel like they are my true friends. We are definitely not from the same tribe. They just don't get me.
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