icon: "analytical (a close-up photo of my eye in bright sunlight, showing the green and grey and roots-looking patterns)"
[work]I had a terrible crash last tuesday where I realized that I don't have any real friends at work and I have no idea how to make friends with anyone. I want to be here for a decade and this makes me feel doomed to spending most of ( Read more... )

icon: "overwhelmed (the character Keenan from "Playing By Heart," with hands over their face covering their eyes and head tilted back)"
It's been over 6 months since I last did this... I have dealt with a lot of loss, but some healing has happened in some relationships too.

[not friends with Heather or Cass any more]I don't think I posted about Heather and Cass. Cass did something I find ( Read more... )

icon: "analytical (a close-up photo of my eye in bright sunlight, showing the green and grey and roots-looking patterns)"

I had an idea I was following pretty well at the beginning of the year: doing daily summaries of the best, worst, and weird of my day. I'm gonna do that again but dump the stuff from february through mid-march here first so I ( Read more... )

icon: "hopeful (close-up photo of me wearing cat-eye makeup, jewels on my cheek, and a violet glitter goatee. I'm gazing off to the side with a hopeful smile.)"I just wanna take a moment to award some (genuine) ally cookies. My awesome friend Allison asked me to be an attendant at her wedding earlier this year. To avoid misgendering me by calling ( Read more... )

icon: "exuviate (photo of a dragonfly with shimmery green wings after its last metamorphosis, standing next to its previous exoskeleton)"
I started writing this a month ago, with the line "I haven't done this in a while because thinking about it is depressing." still true, but I'm pushing myself because I need it.

[Evelyn is not in my life now]Evelyn is not in my life now
( Read more... )

icon: "confused (photo of a purple diamond-shaped sign with a line leading to four arrows all curving and pointing in different directions)"I started 2016 with a lot of hope. In January I connected a lot with Kylei, Sande, and Hannah; I had two graduation parties and started making more plans to spend time with people, and I started meditating ( Read more... )

icon: "tenebrous (a shadowy orange-light photo of my face, looking down, with an achingly sad expression)"
Within the past two weeks so fucking goddamn much has happened. [losing Papaw]Papaw (Topaz' grandparent, an incredibly sweet and gentle person) died and not only was I really sad for the loss and how intense it is for all who were close to him, but I was ( Read more... )

icon: "overwhelmed (the character Keenan from "Playing By Heart," with hands over their face covering their eyes and head tilted back)"I'm in a wedding on Sunday as part of the bridal party of my longest-term friend and going to the funeral of someone who was more of a grandparent to me than any of my biological grandparents on Sunday. There are ( Read more... )

icon: "disassociative (a digital painting of a stylized person in profile with wide open screaming mouth and arms up with palms spread wide. Head and hands flow into strands like blood vessels)"Haven't done this since July, which is pretty much the last time I felt mentally okay. Everything has been on hold for at least two months. I'm barely ( Read more... )

icon: "interconnectedness (two bald purple-skinned people in the ocean: from Joan Slonczewski's "Door Into Ocean")"
( reflecting on LJ patterns )