I love how all social media, if it encourages group conversations and lives long enough, becomes blogging: digital storytelling. Whatever social space feels like home, that's where people will tell their stories ( Read more... )

For me love and trust are almost completely separate, because I've learned that someone can have absolutely the best intentions and have ethics that I completely agree with, and yet they don't know themselves well enough for me to trust what they say: they can be wrong, or bad at predictions, etc. I can love them, and still not be able to trust ( Read more... )

Marriage is not an expression of love, it's a legal contract. There are a few good reasons to sign a legal contract binding you to someone, but love is NOT one of them.

You can't change my mind.

If I could teach every empathetic person one relational/emotional skill, it would be making self-care a priority that comes first at LEAST half of the time. Constant caretaking without sufficient rest is damaging for the caretaker, the one who is being taken care of, and the relationship itself ( Read more... )

People who can say "no" with ease and confidence make me feel so safe. I love this trait in a friend (or lover, or anyone) so much ( Read more... )

icon: "strong (a photo of me in warm light with my hair down around my face, staring intensely into the camera in a defiant mood)"I do not value loyalty over ethics, especially when it comes to sexual assault. Being my friend doesn't mean I will ignore or excuse what you do to someone else, even if it is someone I dislike or don't trust ( Read more... )

icon: "analytical (a close-up photo of my eye in bright sunlight, showing the green and grey and roots-looking patterns)"When your parents or childhood caretakers have abused you, it is profoundly important to admit that it was abuse* (at least to yourself), regardless of your current relationship. Childhood is where you get your sense of normal; ( Read more... )

icon: "distance (two hands (from a brown person and a white person) just barely apart, facing each other palm to palm)"It used to be that whenever I was dating someone and I thought they'd rather be spending time with someone else I would back off and not ask for any of their time. I didn't want to feel like I was competing and I didn't want to be ( Read more... )

icon: "interconnectedness (two bald purple-skinned people in the ocean: from Joan Slonczewski's "Door Into Ocean")"
(This is part of a post I made 3 years ago: relationship anarchy: we each only do what we want / my intentions & desires in all connections)

I am committed to doing my best to always:

respect your personhood: never mock parts of who ( Read more... )

icon: "artless (a painting of a nude person in sun-dappled shade, unselfconsciously pulling off red stockings. They have a soft round belly and breasts that slope down)"It has been about 2 years now since I last got my heart broken, and it has been about 3 years since I last fell in love. For a while I would fall every year or two and get my heart ( Read more... )