icon: "strong (a photo of me in warm light with my hair down around my face, staring intensely into the camera in a defiant mood)"Content note: general discussion of abuse, social fall-out from talking about abuse, and rape (no specifics ( Read more... )

People who can say "no" with ease and confidence make me feel so safe. I love this trait in a friend (or lover, or anyone) so much ( Read more... )

icon: "strong (a photo of me in warm light with my hair down around my face, staring intensely into the camera in a defiant mood)"I do not value loyalty over ethics, especially when it comes to sexual assault. Being my friend doesn't mean I will ignore or excuse what you do to someone else, even if it is someone I dislike or don't trust ( Read more... )

icon: "progressing (a deeply, vividly green forest of thick vines and trees, with a tunnel running through where unused train tracks lay)"Note: I am of course assuming that it was not an intentional violatiom because why would you read this if so. I'm also writing this in the context of a relationship but it mostly applies to casual encounters as ( Read more... )

icon: "disassociative (a digital painting of a stylized person in profile with wide open screaming mouth and arms up with palms spread wide. Head and hands flow into strands like blood vessels)"
( TW/CN: Aziz Ansari's sexually coercive behavior )

icon: "polyamorous relationship anarchist (a rainbow-colored heart with the 'anarchy' capital letter A cutting through it, over a brick texture that suggests the heart is graffiti)"What are the parts of your identity that you have labels for? (list and then define ( Read more... )

icon: "analytical (a close-up photo of my eye in bright sunlight, showing the green and grey and roots-looking patterns)"To be good at consent, you have to be able to take a 'no' without external displays of hurt or offense or upset. Because the fact that you'd never do an act that someone said no to means NOTHING if they are too afraid to tell you ( Read more... )

icon: "honesty (me, outdoors, gazing straight at the camera with a solemn expression)"There are a lot of ways to to cause others pain and even damage despite the very best of intentions, especially with sex and kink. This is not a comprehensive list, but it includes the most common ways I see people making consent mistakes. Here's a more in-depth ( Read more... )

icon: "intrigued (a photo of a snow leopard with ears flattened, peering intently over a log)"So I had a date with Evelyn on Saturday that was surprising, nourishing, exciting, scary, and overall quite magical. Part of our time will be described in my my sextalk filter, but this whole experience is so long and complex that I decided it was fine to ( Read more... )

icon: "snarling (a photo of a snow leopard snarling in profile with teeth bared, whiskers back, and ears flattened)"
( TW: discussion of rape without malicious intent )