I also want to add to the comment I just wrote in your other entry which is sparked by something I read here.
As I said, I don't have these kinds of friendships not because I don't want them but because they don't seem possible. The people I know in real life are not like this. In fact, you are the only person I have ever heard actually verbalize these things. Most people do not think like this. And the argument that maybe they do and if I said something then maybe they would respond well will never EVER work for me because I really do not believe that at all. For years when I was little I tried this and always failed. It's not that I have given up but I would have to be approached. It's not so much that I care what people think but I hate to call attention to myself and have people think I am weird. This is a huge trigger for me. So on one hand I really couldn't care less what others think but on the other hand I don't want to stand out and have people commenting more than they already do on how odd I am. I prefer to be unique in a circle of support where I feel comfortable and will not feel attacked or criticised. That being said, I live nowhere near anyone I think is awesome and there is only so far you can get with emails and phone calls.
there is only so far you can get with emails and phone calls.
yes, that is true. I have an intense need for physical touch, and sadly for Ben he's the only local friend I have so he has to bear the whole burden. I believe though that one or more of my LJ friendships will develop into real, face-to-face friendships... And I know that it only takes a week to turn a friendship from LJ to face-to-face. If Anika hadn't withdrawn immediately after her visit, we'd have been so amazingly close. I know that without a doubt, somehow, and I look forward intensely to meeting other friends because I feel that it will only take spending a relatively short time together to fuse the bond that we have already developed, and after that bond is fused, the distance will still hurt but it will no longer be a determining factor in the relationship.
As I said, I don't have these kinds of friendships not because I don't want them but because they don't seem possible. The people I know in real life are not like this. In fact, you are the only person I have ever heard actually verbalize these things. Most people do not think like this. And the argument that maybe they do and if I said something then maybe they would respond well will never EVER work for me because I really do not believe that at all. For years when I was little I tried this and always failed. It's not that I have given up but I would have to be approached. It's not so much that I care what people think but I hate to call attention to myself and have people think I am weird. This is a huge trigger for me. So on one hand I really couldn't care less what others think but on the other hand I don't want to stand out and have people commenting more than they already do on how odd I am. I prefer to be unique in a circle of support where I feel comfortable and will not feel attacked or criticised. That being said, I live nowhere near anyone I think is awesome and there is only so far you can get with emails and phone calls.
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yes, that is true. I have an intense need for physical touch, and sadly for Ben he's the only local friend I have so he has to bear the whole burden. I believe though that one or more of my LJ friendships will develop into real, face-to-face friendships... And I know that it only takes a week to turn a friendship from LJ to face-to-face. If Anika hadn't withdrawn immediately after her visit, we'd have been so amazingly close. I know that without a doubt, somehow, and I look forward intensely to meeting other friends because I feel that it will only take spending a relatively short time together to fuse the bond that we have already developed, and after that bond is fused, the distance will still hurt but it will no longer be a determining factor in the relationship.
heh, that was probably totally incoherent, sorry!
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