Um... help?

[ask_arealdoctor]

Sorry to interrupt, but if anyone's around could you possibly come down to the morgue? That noise you're hearing is all the LOCKED drawers slamming open and there are dead people crawling out and I'm trying to push them all back in and pile things against the doors but I'm running out of chairs and boxes and HOW MANY DEAD PEOPLE ARE DOWN HERE

Comments

[pure_morning_8]

Well, fuck!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

BUT THEY WERE LOCKED!

Wait, wait, did you try shouting TORCHWOOD at them? Most of them are -- uh, were -- un-are? -- employees. Ex-employees?

...this is going to suck, isn't it.

I'M BRINGING GUNS.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Guns ahoy!

I've shot two in their peeling, rancid faces so far.

Wow. Odour of shot undead is horrible.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I HAVE DEODORISING SPRAY!

Lemon or "Linen"?

[ask_arealdoctor]

How about a cricket bat? Do we have a cricket bat?

[sevendayloan]

God, I hate hate hate freaking zombies. Try not to get bitten and become of of the undead, Martha, okay? Because I like you, but if you became a zombie, I'd have to kill you.

Also, WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE ZOMBIES IN THE HUB? Does this happen a lot? Are zombies and aliens, like, interchangable or something. Oh god.

[ask_captainjack]

I don't know why the fuck, Seven!

Strange shit happens here all the time!

[sevendayloan]

... this is true.

Bloody Torchwood.

Wait, idea! Have you tried shooting them in the face?

[ask_arealdoctor]

WORKING ON IT, SEVEN!

[ask_captainjack]

AW SHIT

ZOMBIES!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

There is so much mopping in my future.

[ask_captainjack]

MOPPING?

Don't worry about that now

YOU CAN CLEAN IT ALL UP AFTER THEY'RE DEAD (AGAIN)

LISTEN

HEY

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

I don't want you to get even a smidgen bitten

There's no room for error with zombie bites

I WOULD FREAK THE FUCK OUT IF I HAD TO MERCY KILL YOU, IANTO

[ask_aboutcoffee]

NOBODY WANTS YOU TO MERCY KILL ME LESS THAN I DO

JACK, DUCK

[gwen_e_cooper]

LOCK TOSH'S DRAWER.

I'm serious. I'll lose it if she wakes up and starts shambling around. It'd be worse than the half-dog in Re-Animator.

[ask_captainjack]

NOT TOSHIKO!

I cried enough during Re-Animator. I don't need to revisit that grief!

[gwen_e_cooper]

I know. It was like Frankenstein. But modern and with better makeup.

So sad.

[ask_arealdoctor]

We'll have to cut off her head just to make sure, Gwen love. I'm sorry!