I cant do this with you anymore, and I think that maybe in some way it just makes me a bad person for saying and thinking that ( Read more... )

Cant sleep, cant think straight. I am just in pain inside, and I need to make sense of it and make peace with it. This is doing me no good, and I am totally acting irrationaly. I am pretty sure I am thinking more about this then is necessary, and it is affecting my relationships with people, especially the one person I most want it not to impact ( Read more... )

When you are feeling the best you have ever felt before in your life, there is only one place that it can go, and it certainly isnt up - at least not for me. I have been caught in the grip of a near crippling depression for the better part of this week. I have little to no appetite, I dont want to go out with friends, I havent gotten groceries and ( Read more... )

Everyone has the days where they wake up and nothing is wrong, specifically, and still you just cant get right. Not that anything bad happens, but everything is just a little off, or you just cant get happy. I have been having that this week. Since my incredible saturday night out, its all been downhill, or would that be uphill? (downhill implies ( Read more... )

This is where I am at 5:15 am on sunday morning.... I want to say all these things and more to you, and I am not taking the easy way out, its just that things are too complicated right now, and I hate that. I dont like the situation you are in, and I want to change it. I will accept things as they are for now, and just hold out hope that things can ( Read more... )

it is late / early on valentines day or the morning (mounrning) after. i have had a shite day and the night was actually ok. ive been drinking pretty heavily and right now i should be in bed but i am feeling a mixture of both bitter and vindictive and yet somewhat romantic. why hasnt my roofie / ritilan / oxy-contin colonic kicked in yet ( Read more... )

I had such a better, or at least funnier, title in mind when I was thinking about what to write in here the other day, but I totally forgot it. Like so many other funny ideas in the past, it lies forgotten in the cobwebs of my mind, maybe it will rear up its comical head another day and this time I will write it down for posterity ( Read more... )

Right now Im kind of bored at work, so I figured I would add an easily digestable entry after that stupidly long monster from last night. I just sold a pretty damn big job, without too much bending over and Im feeling ok. I might be going to China at the end of the month, finally, I cant wait for that, I havent been out of the country in a while, ( Read more... )

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end ( Read more... )

Part 2 ( Read more... )