Okay, I'm speaking from the point of view of a girl who lives in small town, conservative, rural Kansas, graduated in a class of 25, was largely considered gay throughout high school by the entire population, and has several gay and bi friends
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I'm not really worried about what the population at large thinks. And it's not like I lie about it; I even wear a fairly obvious rainbow necklace and comment about cute girls now and then. There are some hangups in the general mechanics of it--how to come out, when to come out, etc.--but it usually does happen eventually. I'm going to school this fall and I'm planning to be as out as out can be, and although there have been some stories of people being beat up and such and I'm a little scared, I'm not expecting it to be a problem.
My main concern is with my Christian acquaintances. With a number of notable exceptions (such as nenya_kanadka, veronica_bud, and bellatrys--<3, all of them!), almost all of my Christian friends and relatives (even from Canada, not just TN) view gay people on a spectrum from "well, um, er, ::ahem::, I guess we'll agree to disagree, but I'll still look uncomfortable whenever the topic comes up and try to convert them at every opportunity" to "OMG SODOMITES DIE! ::kablam::" And then there are the ones who try to
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Yeah... I think I sorta understand. A bit. I have a cousin who is (*gasp!* Big secret!) gay. I think, of the entire family (and we are a rather large group), his parents, sister, my parents, my grandparents (his mom's sister's my grandma), another random cousin, and I know. Otherwise, it's a secret that is very much tiptoed around. Because they wouldn't take it well at all, and he rather wants to be able to stay in contact with them. If only for his mum's sake.
And you're not a coward, by any means. I mean, your relationship with someone is pretty much the most dramatic thing that could change with them. So yeah, it totally makes sense
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Although I went to a New Hampshire Episcopal church on Sunday and it was so wonderful that I'm seriously thinking of moving up here and joining it, Bishop Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson or no Bishop Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson. But I digress.
Strange I've grown up m ost of my life with people believing me to lesbian because of my 'butch' nature. Even my mother had a long talk to me about my 'preferences' and such...Ironically this is about the time I was hiding pics of actors I was attracted to in the back of my drawing pad becuase my mom didn't like me hanging pictures of boys on my wall @_@; Yeah my parents were really strict with me when i was growing up
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Wow, your parents sound like mine...Although my mom prefers to believe that if she pretends homosexuality doesn't exist, it'll go away. I told her I kind of sort of maybe might be not entirely straight (right when I was realizing and coming out to myself) and she said "I don't think that's true," and hasn't mentioned it since. But that's another rant
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OMG thats so my parents O.O! Just 'ignore' it and it will go away. But I mean i thought your bro was gay wasn't he? Do they ignore that too? =(
Yeah its something that took me years to get over (people being ignorant) At first I used to get all poed, then I tried to joke about it, then pretended to go along with it cause no one believed me anyways *rolls eyes* and now i just shrug it off...I guess its cause i'm too old and too lazy now HAHA
Feh i've been told i'm goig to hell because i have tattoos and piercings LOL i still remember working at Safeway and some old man telling me I was how did he put it oh yes 'a child of the devil' because i have noserings HAHAHA I can only imagine how he would have reacted if he saw my ink HAHAHAHA!
Seriously I think thats so sad that people think that...Its like saying someone is going ot hell because of their pigment. I mean if God really hated people for something so petty why would he make them in the first place? >_<; I digress...Last time I checked he didn't die on the cross for just SWM/F
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Yeah, my brother's gay, and...they kind of do ignore that too. My mum sometimes talks about "when Isaiah finds a wife." My dad at least respects it; he's a bit more liberal than my mum. I would come out to him if I didn't know he'd immediately talk with her about it. It's...complicated family mess. And I was always a bit closer to them than he was, and a little more worried about what they think and stuff. My mum is a wonderful person and really honestly believes what she believes and I don't want to cause her any more angst! :( Gahhh!
See, it's moments like this where I think "Wouldn't it all be easier if I gave up and was straight?"
Yeah, I had a guy tell me the other day that all the evil in America came from college students protesting in the sixties. >.< When I mentioned that some of those college students were my personal heroes, one of them being my dad, that was when he told me (yet again) that I'd just been brainwashed....
Last time I checked he didn't die on the cross for just SWM/F kthxbye......OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOU
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My sister's made that argument to me. And while I agree with it to a point...it feels weird to make comments like "oh, she's hot" to one's friends without also saying something like "BTW, I'm gay," if they don't already know. It's not quite comparable to being straight, because the assumption is usually that people are straight. Maybe in a perfect world, there just wouldn't be such a default assumption, but there is.
Personally, I've found I'm more comfortable just letting my friends know I'm gay, even if it's not technically their business - not making a big deal of it or anything, but making a comment to that effect when appropriate. Letting people assume you're straight (and they do assume that, in my case) seems to lead inevitably to certain conversation topics in which you have only three choices: come out, keep quiet, or pretend to be straight. I've tried all three, and I vastly prefer the first. After which, I can make comments about hot girls to my heart's content, and use the correct pronoun when referring to my
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I'm not really worried about what the population at large thinks. And it's not like I lie about it; I even wear a fairly obvious rainbow necklace and comment about cute girls now and then. There are some hangups in the general mechanics of it--how to come out, when to come out, etc.--but it usually does happen eventually. I'm going to school this fall and I'm planning to be as out as out can be, and although there have been some stories of people being beat up and such and I'm a little scared, I'm not expecting it to be a problem.
My main concern is with my Christian acquaintances. With a number of notable exceptions (such as nenya_kanadka, veronica_bud, and bellatrys--<3, all of them!), almost all of my Christian friends and relatives (even from Canada, not just TN) view gay people on a spectrum from "well, um, er, ::ahem::, I guess we'll agree to disagree, but I'll still look uncomfortable whenever the topic comes up and try to convert them at every opportunity" to "OMG SODOMITES DIE! ::kablam::" And then there are the ones who try to ( ... )
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And you're not a coward, by any means. I mean, your relationship with someone is pretty much the most dramatic thing that could change with them. So yeah, it totally makes sense ( ... )
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YES dammit!
ZOMG nand'Suzie!!!
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*is not Episcopalian either*
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Yeah its something that took me years to get over (people being ignorant) At first I used to get all poed, then I tried to joke about it, then pretended to go along with it cause no one believed me anyways *rolls eyes* and now i just shrug it off...I guess its cause i'm too old and too lazy now HAHA
Feh i've been told i'm goig to hell because i have tattoos and piercings LOL i still remember working at Safeway and some old man telling me I was how did he put it oh yes 'a child of the devil' because i have noserings HAHAHA I can only imagine how he would have reacted if he saw my ink HAHAHAHA!
Seriously I think thats so sad that people think that...Its like saying someone is going ot hell because of their pigment. I mean if God really hated people for something so petty why would he make them in the first place? >_<; I digress...Last time I checked he didn't die on the cross for just SWM/F ( ... )
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See, it's moments like this where I think "Wouldn't it all be easier if I gave up and was straight?"
Yeah, I had a guy tell me the other day that all the evil in America came from college students protesting in the sixties. >.< When I mentioned that some of those college students were my personal heroes, one of them being my dad, that was when he told me (yet again) that I'd just been brainwashed....
Last time I checked he didn't die on the cross for just SWM/F kthxbye......OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOU ( ... )
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Personally, I've found I'm more comfortable just letting my friends know I'm gay, even if it's not technically their business - not making a big deal of it or anything, but making a comment to that effect when appropriate. Letting people assume you're straight (and they do assume that, in my case) seems to lead inevitably to certain conversation topics in which you have only three choices: come out, keep quiet, or pretend to be straight. I've tried all three, and I vastly prefer the first. After which, I can make comments about hot girls to my heart's content, and use the correct pronoun when referring to my ( ... )
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