My sister's made that argument to me. And while I agree with it to a point...it feels weird to make comments like "oh, she's hot" to one's friends without also saying something like "BTW, I'm gay," if they don't already know. It's not quite comparable to being straight, because the assumption is usually that people are straight. Maybe in a perfect world, there just wouldn't be such a default assumption, but there is.
Personally, I've found I'm more comfortable just letting my friends know I'm gay, even if it's not technically their business - not making a big deal of it or anything, but making a comment to that effect when appropriate. Letting people assume you're straight (and they do assume that, in my case) seems to lead inevitably to certain conversation topics in which you have only three choices: come out, keep quiet, or pretend to be straight. I've tried all three, and I vastly prefer the first. After which, I can make comments about hot girls to my heart's content, and use the correct pronoun when referring to my
( ... )
I was ranting more along the lines of just the random people that feel the need to know.
Fair enough. :)
Like you said, it's an assumed heterosexuality
...an assumption which I have to admit I, too, am sometimes guilty of, so I can't really complain much about other people assuming it of me. :D And maybe that never will go away entirely - when the majority of people you meet are a certain way, it's natural to tend to assume it of everyone(1) - but I hope the assumption will become less overwhelming in time.
windcedar took the words right out of my brain. :) I think when I 'come out', I do it for the convenience of people around me. Because even I'm not as open-minded as I could be, and when I'm wondering if someone's gay I don't want to say the wrong thing and I'm walking on eggshells until I do know. It's terrible, but it's human nature. I do the same thing when I'm wondering about other nonvisible differences I might have with someone--I don't want to casually mention Gitmo to a conservative. If that makes any sense.
And yes, there are times when it's nobody's business, but in a society where 'coming out' is a definitive act, I want to be honest.
Besides...y'know...as long as I'm going to be gay, I might as well get to hang out with the cool kids. XD
Yeah, what is that? The church group we visited tonight had an Amnesty International sticker in the window. It seems like all the spiffy people I'm meeting lately are Episcopalians. Including Tennesseeans. :D Hmm...
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Personally, I've found I'm more comfortable just letting my friends know I'm gay, even if it's not technically their business - not making a big deal of it or anything, but making a comment to that effect when appropriate. Letting people assume you're straight (and they do assume that, in my case) seems to lead inevitably to certain conversation topics in which you have only three choices: come out, keep quiet, or pretend to be straight. I've tried all three, and I vastly prefer the first. After which, I can make comments about hot girls to my heart's content, and use the correct pronoun when referring to my ( ... )
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Fair enough. :)
Like you said, it's an assumed heterosexuality
...an assumption which I have to admit I, too, am sometimes guilty of, so I can't really complain much about other people assuming it of me. :D And maybe that never will go away entirely - when the majority of people you meet are a certain way, it's natural to tend to assume it of everyone(1) - but I hope the assumption will become less overwhelming in time.
(1)People do that about coffee. I hate coffee. :)
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*glares darkly* You're one of Them, are you?
...Well, I guess nobody's perfect. ;)
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And yes, there are times when it's nobody's business, but in a society where 'coming out' is a definitive act, I want to be honest.
Besides...y'know...as long as I'm going to be gay, I might as well get to hang out with the cool kids. XD
Yeah, what is that? The church group we visited tonight had an Amnesty International sticker in the window. It seems like all the spiffy people I'm meeting lately are Episcopalians. Including Tennesseeans. :D Hmm...
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