My sister's made that argument to me. And while I agree with it to a point...it feels weird to make comments like "oh, she's hot" to one's friends without also saying something like "BTW, I'm gay," if they don't already know. It's not quite comparable to being straight, because the assumption is usually that people are straight. Maybe in a perfect world, there just wouldn't be such a default assumption, but there is.
Personally, I've found I'm more comfortable just letting my friends know I'm gay, even if it's not technically their business - not making a big deal of it or anything, but making a comment to that effect when appropriate. Letting people assume you're straight (and they do assume that, in my case) seems to lead inevitably to certain conversation topics in which you have only three choices: come out, keep quiet, or pretend to be straight. I've tried all three, and I vastly prefer the first. After which, I can make comments about hot girls to my heart's content, and use the correct pronoun when referring to my romantic relationships.
And then there's the social engineering aspect - if I can put a human face to the concept of "gay" for people who maybe have never really known an out gay person, so much the better; it costs me no additional effort, and contributes in some small way to making this an okay and normal thing to be in our society. And may even contribute to getting rid of that default assumption of straightness.
I was ranting more along the lines of just the random people that feel the need to know.
Fair enough. :)
Like you said, it's an assumed heterosexuality
...an assumption which I have to admit I, too, am sometimes guilty of, so I can't really complain much about other people assuming it of me. :D And maybe that never will go away entirely - when the majority of people you meet are a certain way, it's natural to tend to assume it of everyone(1) - but I hope the assumption will become less overwhelming in time.
Personally, I've found I'm more comfortable just letting my friends know I'm gay, even if it's not technically their business - not making a big deal of it or anything, but making a comment to that effect when appropriate. Letting people assume you're straight (and they do assume that, in my case) seems to lead inevitably to certain conversation topics in which you have only three choices: come out, keep quiet, or pretend to be straight. I've tried all three, and I vastly prefer the first. After which, I can make comments about hot girls to my heart's content, and use the correct pronoun when referring to my romantic relationships.
And then there's the social engineering aspect - if I can put a human face to the concept of "gay" for people who maybe have never really known an out gay person, so much the better; it costs me no additional effort, and contributes in some small way to making this an okay and normal thing to be in our society. And may even contribute to getting rid of that default assumption of straightness.
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Fair enough. :)
Like you said, it's an assumed heterosexuality
...an assumption which I have to admit I, too, am sometimes guilty of, so I can't really complain much about other people assuming it of me. :D And maybe that never will go away entirely - when the majority of people you meet are a certain way, it's natural to tend to assume it of everyone(1) - but I hope the assumption will become less overwhelming in time.
(1)People do that about coffee. I hate coffee. :)
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*glares darkly* You're one of Them, are you?
...Well, I guess nobody's perfect. ;)
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