Strange I've grown up m ost of my life with people believing me to lesbian because of my 'butch' nature. Even my mother had a long talk to me about my 'preferences' and such...Ironically this is about the time I was hiding pics of actors I was attracted to in the back of my drawing pad becuase my mom didn't like me hanging pictures of boys on my wall @_@; Yeah my parents were really strict with me when i was growing up.
I've also been hit on by a few women in my life because of my 'tomboyish' nature/personality. Ironically even when I spoke up and said I prefered guys no one believed me. You can imagine how my life was when it came to the dating scene. Even Tim believed I was lesbian and almost didn't date me as a result. Even now people at my work are utterly shocked to learn that I have a bf...I guess some things never change... *shrugs*
I guess this isn't really helpful to your situation but I know the flip side of the deal (the shock and horror -disbelief too- of people discovering that ZOMG! I like men!) and I can relate...What I'm saying I suppose is that there really isn't a 'right moment' to 'come out' because no matter what you say or do there will always be some knob just want to believe what they want to believe. Honestly I say the truth scares them and if they can't deal with it then I say that's their problem. We're above that nonsense ^__~
But on the note of being Christian and Bi lol apparently one can't be a Christian and Straight-Edge either though don't ask me why >_>
Wow, your parents sound like mine...Although my mom prefers to believe that if she pretends homosexuality doesn't exist, it'll go away. I told her I kind of sort of maybe might be not entirely straight (right when I was realizing and coming out to myself) and she said "I don't think that's true," and hasn't mentioned it since. But that's another rant.
I think you're right, and most of the time I would agree with you--be honest, and let people believe what they want. But...urk.
I just don't want to cause people angst that they don't deserve. I mean, there really are good people who honestly believe that being gay is wrong, and that gay people are misguided or wrong and going to hell, and I don't have any problem with them believing that. It's when they use their religion as an excuse for discrimination that I object, if that makes any sense. And me coming out would change everything about my daily life, and how everyone, including my aunt and uncle (who we live with), relates to me. To be absolutely honest, I'm afraid they might kick me out of their house.
Is this making any sense? I think not. ::is stuck in the closet door::
OMG thats so my parents O.O! Just 'ignore' it and it will go away. But I mean i thought your bro was gay wasn't he? Do they ignore that too? =(
Yeah its something that took me years to get over (people being ignorant) At first I used to get all poed, then I tried to joke about it, then pretended to go along with it cause no one believed me anyways *rolls eyes* and now i just shrug it off...I guess its cause i'm too old and too lazy now HAHA
Feh i've been told i'm goig to hell because i have tattoos and piercings LOL i still remember working at Safeway and some old man telling me I was how did he put it oh yes 'a child of the devil' because i have noserings HAHAHA I can only imagine how he would have reacted if he saw my ink HAHAHAHA!
Seriously I think thats so sad that people think that...Its like saying someone is going ot hell because of their pigment. I mean if God really hated people for something so petty why would he make them in the first place? >_<; I digress...Last time I checked he didn't die on the cross for just SWM/F kthxbye...
O_O are you serious!? Your aunt and uncle would really do that to you??? @_@; holy wow...*clings and drags you and Nenya to Winnipeg* Its nicer up here and no one cares what you prefer in a mate...>_<;
I think I understand what you're saying but having never been in that exact situation or rather the flip side I don't know hat its like to truly feel that sort of oppression. It certainly gives me a new appriciation for the freedoms that I do have...Though I think its so sad that you must go through all this guff over something that really shouldn't be anyone's concern. I mean just as long as your happy and safe who cares right?
Yeah, my brother's gay, and...they kind of do ignore that too. My mum sometimes talks about "when Isaiah finds a wife." My dad at least respects it; he's a bit more liberal than my mum. I would come out to him if I didn't know he'd immediately talk with her about it. It's...complicated family mess. And I was always a bit closer to them than he was, and a little more worried about what they think and stuff. My mum is a wonderful person and really honestly believes what she believes and I don't want to cause her any more angst! :( Gahhh!
See, it's moments like this where I think "Wouldn't it all be easier if I gave up and was straight?"
Yeah, I had a guy tell me the other day that all the evil in America came from college students protesting in the sixties. >.< When I mentioned that some of those college students were my personal heroes, one of them being my dad, that was when he told me (yet again) that I'd just been brainwashed....
Last time I checked he didn't die on the cross for just SWM/F kthxbye...
...OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOU ROCK. ::tears up, glomps::
Um...Well, that's the thing. It's hard to predict how my uncle will react sometimes. And since he basically runs the entire household and doesn't really notice when there are dissenting opinions, if he decides that I'm a bad influence, he wouldn't see anything wrong with asking my parents to move out of his house. But I don't know what he would think. He might just say it was something for my parents to work out. I don't know!
I do know with absolute certainty, though, that my parents would never ever kick me out for something like that, and if my uncle asked my parents to move out because of me, they probably would. But it would make things very much harder for us at the moment, and it's not an experiment I'd like to try.
Oh dear yeah that does sound a lot more complicated than I thought =( I guess we're part of a different generation where things are less hidden...I don't know...But it seems my parents generation too (though I think they're about the same age as yours?) is more about keeping such matters 'under the carpet' or you know pretending it doesn't exist rather than just accepting that this is how things are and in reality always have been...
LOL Ah I while I've never had to ponder that particular quandry. I have pondered about just giving up the 'edge and being 'normal' upon occassion (especially when all the Edge's I grew up with gave it up and are harassing me to do the same)...But you know sometimes you just got to stick it out I suppose. I mean this is who you are, just as being Straight-Edge is who I am and well standing up for what you are and represent is a sign of strength and courage at least I think so ;)
*winces* yeah I can't blame you for wanting to not put taht little experiment to the test. =( I'm sorry things are like that I mean thats so harsh...;_;
But on another related but different topic...I know you were thinking of using the name 'Prism' I was thinking about it while at work (am on lunch at the moment) but you know Nenya had the right about about the G/S Alliance...Why not use the name 'Alliance' instead...Its bit more subtle and in reality stands for unity and binding (which I know is a big thing in the US about standing strong and proud and united etc)...Or maybe I'm just thinking of SW again *blushes* Anyways thats my hat in the ring ;)
especially when all the Edge's I grew up with gave it up and are harassing me to do the same
What, because they need you to validate their own choice by making the same choice for yourself? *raises brows* Sounds rather insecure of them to me.
I mean this is who you are, just as being Straight-Edge is who I am and well standing up for what you are and represent is a sign of strength and courage at least I think so ;)
*snorts* I'm going to hell for saying this...But I think its also the fact I didn't 'give in' or 'sell out' or whatever its called that pisses them off HAHA XP
To be absolutely honest, I'm afraid they might kick me out of their house.
If that's a real possibility, I really really wouldn't come out to them, at least until you're ready to move out yourself. Wait until you're not depending on other people for a roof over your head; it changes the whole equation when you can say "I'm sorry you feel that way," and walk away.
Well...as I said to BR, I know beyond all shadow of a doubt that my parents would not kick me out, and that if our family was asked to move because of me, they would. But it would not improve familial relations and would possibly have an end result of us living in a trailer or on the street. Which is too high a price to pay for pride.
But I really honestly don't know how the relatives would react. They won't let their eleven-year-old daughter wear ankle bracelets because they 'lead people into temptation', but they don't mind when their seventeen-year-old son has fantasy novels with sex scenes in. So...::shrug::
It was very liberating the other day when I woke up and realized that I'm in Maine and my family is a thousand miles away, and I can wear my really hot shirt and nobody will be offended by me being attractive....
One day, I will have the courage to walk up to my uncle and say the following: "I'm an adult. I'm a girl. I'm half gay. I can watch The Matrix and wear sexy clothes and shag women and you can't stop me. So there." Then I'll walk away.
Well...as I said to BR, I know beyond all shadow of a doubt that my parents would not kick me out, and that if our family was asked to move because of me, they would. But it would not improve familial relations and would possibly have an end result of us living in a trailer or on the street. Which is too high a price to pay for pride.
Oh, good. I kind of thought your parents wouldn't kick you out, but I wasn't sure. I absolutely agree, though, that it's not the time to be coming out to your relatives. Just hang in there for now...when you finish high school and can go off to uni, everything will be different. :)
They won't let their eleven-year-old daughter wear ankle bracelets because they 'lead people into temptation', but they don't mind when their seventeen-year-old son has fantasy novels with sex scenes in.
Might be the old double standard rearing its head there. Plus maybe the age-difference between those two...(maybe they think their daughter is just too young to be wearing anything that can be construed as having a sexual dimension? I can understand that, though in that case they should have phrased it better - leading-into-temptation sounds uncomfortably like "Her skirt was too short, she was asking for it." *wrinkles nose*)
I've also been hit on by a few women in my life because of my 'tomboyish' nature/personality. Ironically even when I spoke up and said I prefered guys no one believed me. You can imagine how my life was when it came to the dating scene. Even Tim believed I was lesbian and almost didn't date me as a result. Even now people at my work are utterly shocked to learn that I have a bf...I guess some things never change... *shrugs*
I guess this isn't really helpful to your situation but I know the flip side of the deal (the shock and horror -disbelief too- of people discovering that ZOMG! I like men!) and I can relate...What I'm saying I suppose is that there really isn't a 'right moment' to 'come out' because no matter what you say or do there will always be some knob just want to believe what they want to believe. Honestly I say the truth scares them and if they can't deal with it then I say that's their problem. We're above that nonsense ^__~
But on the note of being Christian and Bi lol apparently one can't be a Christian and Straight-Edge either though don't ask me why >_>
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I think you're right, and most of the time I would agree with you--be honest, and let people believe what they want. But...urk.
I just don't want to cause people angst that they don't deserve. I mean, there really are good people who honestly believe that being gay is wrong, and that gay people are misguided or wrong and going to hell, and I don't have any problem with them believing that. It's when they use their religion as an excuse for discrimination that I object, if that makes any sense. And me coming out would change everything about my daily life, and how everyone, including my aunt and uncle (who we live with), relates to me. To be absolutely honest, I'm afraid they might kick me out of their house.
Is this making any sense? I think not. ::is stuck in the closet door::
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Yeah its something that took me years to get over (people being ignorant) At first I used to get all poed, then I tried to joke about it, then pretended to go along with it cause no one believed me anyways *rolls eyes* and now i just shrug it off...I guess its cause i'm too old and too lazy now HAHA
Feh i've been told i'm goig to hell because i have tattoos and piercings LOL i still remember working at Safeway and some old man telling me I was how did he put it oh yes 'a child of the devil' because i have noserings HAHAHA I can only imagine how he would have reacted if he saw my ink HAHAHAHA!
Seriously I think thats so sad that people think that...Its like saying someone is going ot hell because of their pigment. I mean if God really hated people for something so petty why would he make them in the first place? >_<; I digress...Last time I checked he didn't die on the cross for just SWM/F kthxbye...
O_O are you serious!? Your aunt and uncle would really do that to you??? @_@; holy wow...*clings and drags you and Nenya to Winnipeg* Its nicer up here and no one cares what you prefer in a mate...>_<;
I think I understand what you're saying but having never been in that exact situation or rather the flip side I don't know hat its like to truly feel that sort of oppression. It certainly gives me a new appriciation for the freedoms that I do have...Though I think its so sad that you must go through all this guff over something that really shouldn't be anyone's concern. I mean just as long as your happy and safe who cares right?
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See, it's moments like this where I think "Wouldn't it all be easier if I gave up and was straight?"
Yeah, I had a guy tell me the other day that all the evil in America came from college students protesting in the sixties. >.< When I mentioned that some of those college students were my personal heroes, one of them being my dad, that was when he told me (yet again) that I'd just been brainwashed....
Last time I checked he didn't die on the cross for just SWM/F kthxbye...
...OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOU ROCK. ::tears up, glomps::
Um...Well, that's the thing. It's hard to predict how my uncle will react sometimes. And since he basically runs the entire household and doesn't really notice when there are dissenting opinions, if he decides that I'm a bad influence, he wouldn't see anything wrong with asking my parents to move out of his house. But I don't know what he would think. He might just say it was something for my parents to work out. I don't know!
I do know with absolute certainty, though, that my parents would never ever kick me out for something like that, and if my uncle asked my parents to move out because of me, they probably would. But it would make things very much harder for us at the moment, and it's not an experiment I'd like to try.
...you are still awesome. <3 <3 <3
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LOL Ah I while I've never had to ponder that particular quandry. I have pondered about just giving up the 'edge and being 'normal' upon occassion (especially when all the Edge's I grew up with gave it up and are harassing me to do the same)...But you know sometimes you just got to stick it out I suppose. I mean this is who you are, just as being Straight-Edge is who I am and well standing up for what you are and represent is a sign of strength and courage at least I think so ;)
*winces* yeah I can't blame you for wanting to not put taht little experiment to the test. =( I'm sorry things are like that I mean thats so harsh...;_;
But on another related but different topic...I know you were thinking of using the name 'Prism' I was thinking about it while at work (am on lunch at the moment) but you know Nenya had the right about about the G/S Alliance...Why not use the name 'Alliance' instead...Its bit more subtle and in reality stands for unity and binding (which I know is a big thing in the US about standing strong and proud and united etc)...Or maybe I'm just thinking of SW again *blushes* Anyways thats my hat in the ring ;)
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What, because they need you to validate their own choice by making the same choice for yourself? *raises brows* Sounds rather insecure of them to me.
I mean this is who you are, just as being Straight-Edge is who I am and well standing up for what you are and represent is a sign of strength and courage at least I think so ;)
Absolutely. *glomps*
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*beams and happily glomps back*
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If that's a real possibility, I really really wouldn't come out to them, at least until you're ready to move out yourself. Wait until you're not depending on other people for a roof over your head; it changes the whole equation when you can say "I'm sorry you feel that way," and walk away.
*hugs* You can always come live with me! :)
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But I really honestly don't know how the relatives would react. They won't let their eleven-year-old daughter wear ankle bracelets because they 'lead people into temptation', but they don't mind when their seventeen-year-old son has fantasy novels with sex scenes in. So...::shrug::
It was very liberating the other day when I woke up and realized that I'm in Maine and my family is a thousand miles away, and I can wear my really hot shirt and nobody will be offended by me being attractive....
One day, I will have the courage to walk up to my uncle and say the following: "I'm an adult. I'm a girl. I'm half gay. I can watch The Matrix and wear sexy clothes and shag women and you can't stop me. So there." Then I'll walk away.
One day....
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Oh, good. I kind of thought your parents wouldn't kick you out, but I wasn't sure. I absolutely agree, though, that it's not the time to be coming out to your relatives. Just hang in there for now...when you finish high school and can go off to uni, everything will be different. :)
They won't let their eleven-year-old daughter wear ankle bracelets because they 'lead people into temptation', but they don't mind when their seventeen-year-old son has fantasy novels with sex scenes in.
Might be the old double standard rearing its head there. Plus maybe the age-difference between those two...(maybe they think their daughter is just too young to be wearing anything that can be construed as having a sexual dimension? I can understand that, though in that case they should have phrased it better - leading-into-temptation sounds uncomfortably like "Her skirt was too short, she was asking for it." *wrinkles nose*)
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