So today I took a big step in my adult life. A while ago, I booked an um..."women's exam" at shands outpatient and today was the glorious day I spread eagle and had an exam and a pap smear. It was kind of weird for me because no one has in recent years other than really my sister or my mom seen me naked. And granted, they haven't seen the insides ( Read more... )

So, I have been completely bored out of my mind since the "last day of classes". This week is so awkward for me, I hardly know what day it is as everything that typically occurs on a day to remind me what day it is simply not ocurring anymore. On monday I had my last test for biological anthropology and on wednesday I had my makeup test for that ( Read more... )

I figured I should update because in a rare occurance... I am starting to feel happy. My therapist explained to me once that we all have ups and downs and if you have a down, your going to have an up because that is the body's way of balancing itself but I don't think, and hope that my "up" is not due to chemicals surging through my body to ( Read more... )

This past week I have mostly been depressed. More so than usual. The type of drag yourself out of bed depression. The kind where enjoyment becomes a sense that has been dulled to the point where you forget what it feels like and begin to wonder if in fact it really exists at all. And then you get depressed that your so depressed and it becomes a ( Read more... )

I wish I could stop feeling so annoyed and frusterated by people. Like, I don't want to be judgemental and I'm sure people could judge me in the split of a second but somehow I just can't help it. I see such naivity in their eyes. They are so "happy" and satisfied with the most trivial of things. It's not like I don't want them to be happy, but I ( Read more... )

April Already. Crazy how the time just seems to fly. I had to be reminded that today was April 1st. This week was horrible/ crazy. I pulled near all nighters going to bed with the sun just comming up to "study". And maybe for nothing because I was so gosh darned distracted. My mind just kept wandering, analyzing, regressing. I misplaced my keys on ( Read more... )

So, in all honesty I'll write about my day hoping I can learn from it. Here goes. The new alarm clock that I bought yesterday because it looked cool and because there was nothing wrong with my old one didn't go off this morning. When I woke up, it was 11:35 and I had a class at 11:45 and I decided the rush wasn't worth it. So I stayed in bed like I ( Read more... )

Negligence ( Read more... )

So, it's hard to believe it's March already. It's funny how you think things are possibilities and you plan for them and them something happens that makes your plan totally irrelevant. I know you can't plan out life, yet I still try to. Its funny how last semester I thought going to UM would be a remote possibility, and now based on the family ( Read more... )

I suppose this is not the most ideal time for updating this being that I'm in a horrible mood from a horrible week from a horrible month from a horrible year. Actually, for a horrible five years. They say "don't sweat the small stuff" but I've found out that if you don't fret about the small, mundane, trivial and unimportant things you usually wind ( Read more... )