Whistle While You Work
I wish I could stop feeling so annoyed and frusterated by people. Like, I don't want to be judgemental and I'm sure people could judge me in the split of a second but somehow I just can't help it. I see such naivity in their eyes. They are so "happy" and satisfied with the most trivial of things. It's not like I don't want them to be happy, but I don't really understand how they could be. They seem so mundane. They celebrate mediocrity. I'm not saying I'm stellar in any sense of the word but I am so nauseated when people stupiedly smile as they have settled for their third loser boyfriend or girlfriend and they say that life is so great. These boyfriends or girlfiends end up being cheaters, bastards, or all of the above and your supposed to act consolitory when things don't work out. When you realy want to scream when they tell you things didn't work out: No Shit Sherlock.
The scene was outside at deli lane and I won't even mention the person who was sitting across from me. But I could barely wolf down my california quesadilla without vomitting as the certain someone sat across from me with a "life is good" t- shirt and the dumbest of dumb- naivly in "love" look in his eyes. And though I'm sure his partner in crime is not as bad compared to what other people my age select as their other half, it is really the naivity that he believes in the idea of love and that life is good is what pisses the hell out of me. And before you think I'm some cynical idiot, I can explain it like this:
People who feel that life is great and beautiful and easy and carefree are like children. It's the saying ignorance is bliss. Everything seems so easy and great and beautiful because they are sheltered from the world and are only shown things that are good. When they get older and experience tradgedies, life's uncertainties, isolation, greif, despair, depression, and so on, they realize maybe it all ain't castle's and rainbows. And some people never even get to be children. For some reason or another,like negligence or abuse or anything of that sort-they never get the illusion that life is easy and simple because they had to see the world how it really was from the beginning. There was no one to put the rose colored lenses over their eyes. If ignorance is bliss, then knowledge is cynicism. When I see someone really happy, that naive kind of happy I feel like screaming at them to wake up and smell the coffee. And as horrible as it sounds, they will one day, and maybe they won't be smiling so stupidly.
I'm not saying happiness doesn't exist. I think there are two kinds of happy. The naive kind and the kind you work for. Happiness is like climbing a mountain. It's something you have to strive for. If your perfectly content in your life then you aren't going to be climbing so to speak. It's the people who question and say is there something more, is there something better, is there something higher up? that get farther in life. And though they have to admit that they don't fit in with the masses of ignorantly happy people and may appear discontented and skeptical and cynical to others, it really is only because they don't settle. Because they don't settle, they have to climb higher to find what they are looking for. The climb is difficult, its rocky and it is not pleasant. Not settling may mean you have to be alone for awhile and that's lonely.It may also mean you have to constantly be searching for something better and more meaningful that other's may not even be looking for. And thats why I'm not happy. Because I'm climbing. All you "happy" people can stay at the foot of the mountain. If your fully happy, I think it means you've settled. Either that or you've had a hell of a climb.
I'm not saying that I don't think life is beautiful. I think that if you can see it for what it is and understand the heartache and pain and suffering and go through it and still find it beautiful, then that is one thousand times more beautiful than being blind to it. Because truth is beauty.
The scene was outside at deli lane and I won't even mention the person who was sitting across from me. But I could barely wolf down my california quesadilla without vomitting as the certain someone sat across from me with a "life is good" t- shirt and the dumbest of dumb- naivly in "love" look in his eyes. And though I'm sure his partner in crime is not as bad compared to what other people my age select as their other half, it is really the naivity that he believes in the idea of love and that life is good is what pisses the hell out of me. And before you think I'm some cynical idiot, I can explain it like this:
People who feel that life is great and beautiful and easy and carefree are like children. It's the saying ignorance is bliss. Everything seems so easy and great and beautiful because they are sheltered from the world and are only shown things that are good. When they get older and experience tradgedies, life's uncertainties, isolation, greif, despair, depression, and so on, they realize maybe it all ain't castle's and rainbows. And some people never even get to be children. For some reason or another,like negligence or abuse or anything of that sort-they never get the illusion that life is easy and simple because they had to see the world how it really was from the beginning. There was no one to put the rose colored lenses over their eyes. If ignorance is bliss, then knowledge is cynicism. When I see someone really happy, that naive kind of happy I feel like screaming at them to wake up and smell the coffee. And as horrible as it sounds, they will one day, and maybe they won't be smiling so stupidly.
I'm not saying happiness doesn't exist. I think there are two kinds of happy. The naive kind and the kind you work for. Happiness is like climbing a mountain. It's something you have to strive for. If your perfectly content in your life then you aren't going to be climbing so to speak. It's the people who question and say is there something more, is there something better, is there something higher up? that get farther in life. And though they have to admit that they don't fit in with the masses of ignorantly happy people and may appear discontented and skeptical and cynical to others, it really is only because they don't settle. Because they don't settle, they have to climb higher to find what they are looking for. The climb is difficult, its rocky and it is not pleasant. Not settling may mean you have to be alone for awhile and that's lonely.It may also mean you have to constantly be searching for something better and more meaningful that other's may not even be looking for. And thats why I'm not happy. Because I'm climbing. All you "happy" people can stay at the foot of the mountain. If your fully happy, I think it means you've settled. Either that or you've had a hell of a climb.
I'm not saying that I don't think life is beautiful. I think that if you can see it for what it is and understand the heartache and pain and suffering and go through it and still find it beautiful, then that is one thousand times more beautiful than being blind to it. Because truth is beauty.