The Endless: Chpt 13B
Last part of Chapter 13! Angst on a plate!
Title: The Endless (I now hate this title, but have decided to stick with it)
Genre: fantasy/horror/drama/smut/comedy/randomness
Rating: from the silliest to the most explicitly mature…
Summary: Bam is a vampire, and Ville is supposed to slay him.
POV: Alternating between first person Bam and first person Ville
Pairing: VAM, eventually, with lots of implications of other pairings.
Author’s Note: Most of the chapters have been influenced by songs. I borrow lyrics quite often.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bam (or friends), Ville, Lauri, or the members of HIM. I have never been to Philadelphia, and one of my best friends invented Kamilah. Jaied, other random characters, and the events of the story, however, are my creation and I OWN them. ;) You will find later I have named many of my characters from mythology. If you happen to recognize a name, be warned that I’m not intent on making those characters reflect the gods/goddesses named after them…I just liked the name. Hmmm…also seems fitting that an old arrogant vampire would name themselves after a god or goddess.
Prologue: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/520.html#cutid1
Chapter 1 and 2: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/815.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1189.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1339.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1708.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1367385.html
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1379765.html
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1417375.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1432811.html
Chapter 10: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1468207.html
Chapter 11A: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1520329.html#cutid1
Chapter 11B: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1521784.html#cutid1
Chapter 11C: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1555828.html#cutid1
Chapter 12: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1576501.html#cutid1
Chapter 13A: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1589781.html#cutid1
Chapter 13B:
“Jett, look at me. I’m speaking to you.” Ironic, I finally get something to eat, and he wants me to look at him? How convenient. I take my gaze from the beautiful salad he was allowing me to consume (salad with fat-free dressing, so I wouldn’t get fat) and force myself to bring my eyes up to his. Starvation and sleep deprivation, the best way to brainwash someone…and he knew it. I try to look into his eyes, but I just see through them. There’s nothing in them, nothing I want to see…Green eyes like bile…did my eyes look like that? It horrifies me sometimes when I realize how much I look like him…and I wonder if I’m in this situation because I deserve it, because I am like him. God, I pray I never become like him, I would never wish anyone to be treated the way he treats me.
“There’s a reason I wanted to treat you tonight…” Treat me? I want to wipe that false sincerity from his face, scream at him to at least admit he hates me…but I can’t let him break me again. He slips his hand over my left one, gentle and slow, as if this ‘relationship’ is actually something loving and true…as if I’m truly special to him and he has something deeply important he wishes to say to me. Going to propose to me, Jaeid? Shit, that’s a frightening thought… Well, here we are in a high-class, ornately decorated restaurant in the ritzy part of town…what else is going to run through my mind?
“I’m going away for a few weeks…” What?! He’s…leaving? I try not to perk up or look extremely excited…just as long as he doesn’t think I need his ‘friends’ to take care of me…I can rest…maybe. He waits, suspense hovers in the air heavily…I fail to repress a question:
“W-where? What are you leaving for, sir?” Yes, he was expecting me to look concerned and worried. It must have worked, because he’s smiling that demented smile…the small one that you can hardly detect unless you’re trained in Jaeid-observation.
“Oh, nothing that concerns you. Just business, but I’ll be out of the country at least until February 22nd…and probably back the Friday afterwards.”
“Oh…o-okay.” No, nothing I can really say. An untrue opinion should never be expressed too strongly; he would realize I was lying. An honest opinion…Well that can never be expressed at all.
“I just wanted to spend this night with you, before I leave in the morning.” He paused, moving his hand into his pocket for a moment and pulling out a leather wallet…picking out a wad of money and handing it to me… “Don’t spend it all on food, all right?”
I grab the money from him quickly; holding it tightly in my hand…I wonder if this could get me out of the country and get established somewhere. (Oh, but that wouldn’t be far enough away from him, I’d have to leave the planet for him not to track me down).
“Uh, sir? Your friends aren’t going to look after me, are they?” Please please please don’t ask them to come over…I really don’t want a glass soda bottle shoved up my ass this month…
He smiled at that, as if I’d just made a joke that only he understood. “Well, I don’t think that would be necessary. Besides, you have a job to do, remember? You don’t want to be distracted by them, do you?” Oh, shit. Bam Bam. I hoped he was smart, and was far away from here by now.
“No…I haven’t forgotten.” I wanted to ask him why…what had Bam ever done to deserve this? Jaeid, why do you want me to murder the one man I’ve met that I might be able to trust? Is it because I might be content and safe with him? Could you sense it before I met him? You would hate that, wouldn’t you?
I tried to eat the rest of my salad without saying too much…He could easily pull one of my joints loose if I asked him the wrong question, gave him the wrong answer…but silence is consent, and I hated consenting to all his whims.
I’m sick and disgusting. You said it yourself when you saw the cuts all over my body while I tried on all those clothes you liked. I’m screwed up in the head; I’m stupid…you told me this morning. So, why do you want me to take my clothes off again? Why all this, if I’m so dirty and sick to you? I wish I could tell you I was this way because you hurt me…
He doesn’t even bother to let me relax, just drags me onto the bed and pins me on my back. In the lion’s den…ready to be devoured again. No, it’s not exciting. Stop it with your sick fantasies, there’s nothing fun about this. He’s going to taunt and torture me, fuck me until I see stars, and then leave.
And I’m going to lie in a puddle of blood and semen for at least most of the next morning, unable to move, not wanting to move, wishing I’d killed myself Thursday night, wishing I’d never ran away from home. And then I’ll go to school on Monday.
Oh, but ever full of intrigue, the man hasn’t ripped my clothes off yet, telling me how worthless I am…how I’m nothing without him. No, he’s just sitting there, hands pinning my wrists to each side of my head, looking down at me. For a long time, he just holds me there…I don’t want to look in those eyes…at that menacing face I used to think was beautiful…because now he’s the ugliest man I’ve ever seen. I just turn my head to the side, trying to softly bury my face in the crook of my neck, cover myself with my hair. I don’t want this…I never wanted this…and yet he’s thoroughly convinced I’m delighted; I’m just playing coy.
I hear his voice, anger and acid lacing every word…his good mood is gone…here I go, another one of the longest nights of my life. “What the hell is wrong with you? I swear, you look like you’re wishing someone would come rescue you, Jett. Look at me!”
“Sir…please.” Is there anyway I can get you to leave me alone tonight, just once…
“But, I’ve already rescued you, remember? If it weren’t for me, little boy, you’d still be a prostitute working those nasty streets in New York. Sucking off some old businessman…ugh. I’m going to make you immortal someday; I’m going to make you everything you’ve ever wanted to be. But, you have to look me in the eyes when I tell you; you have to obey me. Don’t be stupid and mess this up for us.”
“But…but I never said anything like that…I wouldn’t…” Lie lie lie. Lie to keep myself halfway sane…I don’t want your stupid immortality. What? An eternity to put up with you…I’d rather die, right now.
He interrupts me sharply, “You’ve been thinking about it. Don’t lie to me; I’m not a fool. Do you think I can’t tell when you turn your head away from me…don’t you want me to touch you?”
Well, honestly Jaeid? “I…I don’t want you to hurt me…”
And he smiles! “Hurt you?” His voice rose, as if it never occurred to him he’d once hurt me. As if, as if this Jaeid isn’t the same one that beats me, cuts me, rapes me senseless, yells and throws things…as if he’d never once considered such a thing…I try to turn my head back to the side, but he grabs my chin with one of his rugged hands, forcing me to look up at him.
“What are you thinking about, Jett? Am I just off, or are you getting a little crush on that vampire I told you to murder two weeks ago? It’s not that hard, you’ve done this before…and you’ve had ample opportunity to drive a stake through it or torch it! Am I going to have to do it myself? Kill the bastard, soon. I’m not seeing you do anything!”
How did he know? Is this man psychic, or just the most paranoid, jealous creature walking? Why did he hate Bam? I try not to stutter, to reveal how nervous I am…he just can’t catch on to this! Really, for Bam’s sake! He’ll punish me whether I kill him or not, but it’s Bam I can’t allow to get hurt…
“But, I got those books to look at Wednesday…”
“You don’t need those books! Listen, I don’t care what’s going on with you and that…thing! Just kill him by March! Get it? I want proof of his death. Bring back a piece of him…and then I’ll be convinced he’s gone. Until then…” He got up off of me, rose off the bed, and went through the door into the living room…and up the stairs.
Oh no. Nothing good, nothing good at all, came from upstairs. I just lie there, in the blaze of the overhead light of my room, ready for anything, anything he could throw at me. I knew this game, a game only he liked…he’d bring a little ‘toy’ from upstairs and use it on me…what this time? I don’t even want to consider the possibilities.
I feel sick when he comes back through my door, hiding his right hand behind his back…oh yeah, big surprise. Oh shit, he’s got metal handcuffs…and something that looks really shiny and cold, and sharp…I’m not sure what it is, but I have a pretty good idea.
He walks toward me, leans over me. I don’t struggle when he puts the handcuffs around my wrists…it would be pointless. I can’t help it that there’s a single tear sliding down my cheek…that I’m cringing when he runs his fingers through my hair.
“What’s wrong, love?”
“Please don’t hurt me this time…”
“But, I thought you liked it when I hurt you.”
Just live through this night. He’ll be gone tomorrow…and you can sleep.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, now that that's done with...
comments make me a happy happy happy girl!
<\lj-cut>
Title: The Endless (I now hate this title, but have decided to stick with it)
Genre: fantasy/horror/drama/smut/comedy/randomness
Rating: from the silliest to the most explicitly mature…
Summary: Bam is a vampire, and Ville is supposed to slay him.
POV: Alternating between first person Bam and first person Ville
Pairing: VAM, eventually, with lots of implications of other pairings.
Author’s Note: Most of the chapters have been influenced by songs. I borrow lyrics quite often.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bam (or friends), Ville, Lauri, or the members of HIM. I have never been to Philadelphia, and one of my best friends invented Kamilah. Jaied, other random characters, and the events of the story, however, are my creation and I OWN them. ;) You will find later I have named many of my characters from mythology. If you happen to recognize a name, be warned that I’m not intent on making those characters reflect the gods/goddesses named after them…I just liked the name. Hmmm…also seems fitting that an old arrogant vampire would name themselves after a god or goddess.
Prologue: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/520.html#cutid1
Chapter 1 and 2: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/815.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1189.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1339.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1708.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1367385.html
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1379765.html
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1417375.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1432811.html
Chapter 10: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1468207.html
Chapter 11A: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1520329.html#cutid1
Chapter 11B: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1521784.html#cutid1
Chapter 11C: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1555828.html#cutid1
Chapter 12: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1576501.html#cutid1
Chapter 13A: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1589781.html#cutid1
Chapter 13B:
“Jett, look at me. I’m speaking to you.” Ironic, I finally get something to eat, and he wants me to look at him? How convenient. I take my gaze from the beautiful salad he was allowing me to consume (salad with fat-free dressing, so I wouldn’t get fat) and force myself to bring my eyes up to his. Starvation and sleep deprivation, the best way to brainwash someone…and he knew it. I try to look into his eyes, but I just see through them. There’s nothing in them, nothing I want to see…Green eyes like bile…did my eyes look like that? It horrifies me sometimes when I realize how much I look like him…and I wonder if I’m in this situation because I deserve it, because I am like him. God, I pray I never become like him, I would never wish anyone to be treated the way he treats me.
“There’s a reason I wanted to treat you tonight…” Treat me? I want to wipe that false sincerity from his face, scream at him to at least admit he hates me…but I can’t let him break me again. He slips his hand over my left one, gentle and slow, as if this ‘relationship’ is actually something loving and true…as if I’m truly special to him and he has something deeply important he wishes to say to me. Going to propose to me, Jaeid? Shit, that’s a frightening thought… Well, here we are in a high-class, ornately decorated restaurant in the ritzy part of town…what else is going to run through my mind?
“I’m going away for a few weeks…” What?! He’s…leaving? I try not to perk up or look extremely excited…just as long as he doesn’t think I need his ‘friends’ to take care of me…I can rest…maybe. He waits, suspense hovers in the air heavily…I fail to repress a question:
“W-where? What are you leaving for, sir?” Yes, he was expecting me to look concerned and worried. It must have worked, because he’s smiling that demented smile…the small one that you can hardly detect unless you’re trained in Jaeid-observation.
“Oh, nothing that concerns you. Just business, but I’ll be out of the country at least until February 22nd…and probably back the Friday afterwards.”
“Oh…o-okay.” No, nothing I can really say. An untrue opinion should never be expressed too strongly; he would realize I was lying. An honest opinion…Well that can never be expressed at all.
“I just wanted to spend this night with you, before I leave in the morning.” He paused, moving his hand into his pocket for a moment and pulling out a leather wallet…picking out a wad of money and handing it to me… “Don’t spend it all on food, all right?”
I grab the money from him quickly; holding it tightly in my hand…I wonder if this could get me out of the country and get established somewhere. (Oh, but that wouldn’t be far enough away from him, I’d have to leave the planet for him not to track me down).
“Uh, sir? Your friends aren’t going to look after me, are they?” Please please please don’t ask them to come over…I really don’t want a glass soda bottle shoved up my ass this month…
He smiled at that, as if I’d just made a joke that only he understood. “Well, I don’t think that would be necessary. Besides, you have a job to do, remember? You don’t want to be distracted by them, do you?” Oh, shit. Bam Bam. I hoped he was smart, and was far away from here by now.
“No…I haven’t forgotten.” I wanted to ask him why…what had Bam ever done to deserve this? Jaeid, why do you want me to murder the one man I’ve met that I might be able to trust? Is it because I might be content and safe with him? Could you sense it before I met him? You would hate that, wouldn’t you?
I tried to eat the rest of my salad without saying too much…He could easily pull one of my joints loose if I asked him the wrong question, gave him the wrong answer…but silence is consent, and I hated consenting to all his whims.
I’m sick and disgusting. You said it yourself when you saw the cuts all over my body while I tried on all those clothes you liked. I’m screwed up in the head; I’m stupid…you told me this morning. So, why do you want me to take my clothes off again? Why all this, if I’m so dirty and sick to you? I wish I could tell you I was this way because you hurt me…
He doesn’t even bother to let me relax, just drags me onto the bed and pins me on my back. In the lion’s den…ready to be devoured again. No, it’s not exciting. Stop it with your sick fantasies, there’s nothing fun about this. He’s going to taunt and torture me, fuck me until I see stars, and then leave.
And I’m going to lie in a puddle of blood and semen for at least most of the next morning, unable to move, not wanting to move, wishing I’d killed myself Thursday night, wishing I’d never ran away from home. And then I’ll go to school on Monday.
Oh, but ever full of intrigue, the man hasn’t ripped my clothes off yet, telling me how worthless I am…how I’m nothing without him. No, he’s just sitting there, hands pinning my wrists to each side of my head, looking down at me. For a long time, he just holds me there…I don’t want to look in those eyes…at that menacing face I used to think was beautiful…because now he’s the ugliest man I’ve ever seen. I just turn my head to the side, trying to softly bury my face in the crook of my neck, cover myself with my hair. I don’t want this…I never wanted this…and yet he’s thoroughly convinced I’m delighted; I’m just playing coy.
I hear his voice, anger and acid lacing every word…his good mood is gone…here I go, another one of the longest nights of my life. “What the hell is wrong with you? I swear, you look like you’re wishing someone would come rescue you, Jett. Look at me!”
“Sir…please.” Is there anyway I can get you to leave me alone tonight, just once…
“But, I’ve already rescued you, remember? If it weren’t for me, little boy, you’d still be a prostitute working those nasty streets in New York. Sucking off some old businessman…ugh. I’m going to make you immortal someday; I’m going to make you everything you’ve ever wanted to be. But, you have to look me in the eyes when I tell you; you have to obey me. Don’t be stupid and mess this up for us.”
“But…but I never said anything like that…I wouldn’t…” Lie lie lie. Lie to keep myself halfway sane…I don’t want your stupid immortality. What? An eternity to put up with you…I’d rather die, right now.
He interrupts me sharply, “You’ve been thinking about it. Don’t lie to me; I’m not a fool. Do you think I can’t tell when you turn your head away from me…don’t you want me to touch you?”
Well, honestly Jaeid? “I…I don’t want you to hurt me…”
And he smiles! “Hurt you?” His voice rose, as if it never occurred to him he’d once hurt me. As if, as if this Jaeid isn’t the same one that beats me, cuts me, rapes me senseless, yells and throws things…as if he’d never once considered such a thing…I try to turn my head back to the side, but he grabs my chin with one of his rugged hands, forcing me to look up at him.
“What are you thinking about, Jett? Am I just off, or are you getting a little crush on that vampire I told you to murder two weeks ago? It’s not that hard, you’ve done this before…and you’ve had ample opportunity to drive a stake through it or torch it! Am I going to have to do it myself? Kill the bastard, soon. I’m not seeing you do anything!”
How did he know? Is this man psychic, or just the most paranoid, jealous creature walking? Why did he hate Bam? I try not to stutter, to reveal how nervous I am…he just can’t catch on to this! Really, for Bam’s sake! He’ll punish me whether I kill him or not, but it’s Bam I can’t allow to get hurt…
“But, I got those books to look at Wednesday…”
“You don’t need those books! Listen, I don’t care what’s going on with you and that…thing! Just kill him by March! Get it? I want proof of his death. Bring back a piece of him…and then I’ll be convinced he’s gone. Until then…” He got up off of me, rose off the bed, and went through the door into the living room…and up the stairs.
Oh no. Nothing good, nothing good at all, came from upstairs. I just lie there, in the blaze of the overhead light of my room, ready for anything, anything he could throw at me. I knew this game, a game only he liked…he’d bring a little ‘toy’ from upstairs and use it on me…what this time? I don’t even want to consider the possibilities.
I feel sick when he comes back through my door, hiding his right hand behind his back…oh yeah, big surprise. Oh shit, he’s got metal handcuffs…and something that looks really shiny and cold, and sharp…I’m not sure what it is, but I have a pretty good idea.
He walks toward me, leans over me. I don’t struggle when he puts the handcuffs around my wrists…it would be pointless. I can’t help it that there’s a single tear sliding down my cheek…that I’m cringing when he runs his fingers through my hair.
“What’s wrong, love?”
“Please don’t hurt me this time…”
“But, I thought you liked it when I hurt you.”
Just live through this night. He’ll be gone tomorrow…and you can sleep.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, now that that's done with...
comments make me a happy happy happy girl!
<\lj-cut>