The Endless: Chapter 10
Here is a very late Chapter 10. I apologize for those of you who were reading it. I am an expert procrastinator, and I wanted to make the chapter even better than it probably is now...
Title: The Endless (I now hate this title, but have decided to stick with it)
Genre: fantasy/horror/drama/smut/comedy/randomness
Rating: G to R to NC-17…for blood/violence/explicit sex (later, sorry)/angst/pain/and anything else I can think of
Summary: Bam is a vampire and Ville is out to slay him. (in an effort to promote myself, I finally cave and write a summary)
POV: Alternating between first person Bam and first person Ville
Pairing: VAM, eventually, with lots of implications of other pairings.
Author’s Note: Every song I list on here is something that influenced me in some way while writing the chapter. Either the song goes with the mood or events in the chapter, or I obsessively listened to the music on repeat while writing. Or, I borrowed lyrics.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bam (or friends), Ville, Lauri, or the members of HIM. I have never been to Philadelphia, and one of my best friends invented Kamilah. Jaied, other random characters, and the events of the story, however, are my creation and I OWN them. ;)
Prologue: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/520.html#cutid1
Chapter 1 and 2: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/815.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://swamptwitch9666.livejournal.com/1189.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1339.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1708.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1367385.html
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1379765.html
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1417375.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1432811.html
Chapter 10:
(Bam)
I stood staring at Ville’s large redwood door. ‘Should I really be here?’ I had been standing there for a full five minutes just trying to decide whether or not to ring the doorbell. What if he didn’t want to see me? Maybe I would be pushing this, to come to his house the very next night…but I wanted to make sure he was okay. This had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I had a burning need to see him. I mean, he’d almost gotten shot in the head yesterday. ‘I should just push the button and see if he comes to the door…if he doesn’t, I’ll leave.’
I moved my finger towards the doorbell. ‘What if Kamilah had been right? Even if just a shred of truth had entered her words…would I still be doing this if I’d believed her?’ I hesitated, not pushing the button, but resting my hand on the brick beside it.
She’d told me that she’d taken Ville out for pizza. Strange to think of her being that nice to a stranger, I know, but she’d said ‘sympathy welled up in her heart’ for him. She’d said she had asked him a very simple question, a very common question, and he’d flinched. She wouldn’t tell me what the question was, of course, but she’d said I should keep my guard up, and stay away from his house. She hadn’t wanted me to go anywhere tonight, but I never do what she says. I’d left the place unnoticed when two vampires, a man and a woman that I’d never seen before, came through the door, looking quite angry. I hadn’t wanted to hang around to watch the resulting battle.
‘Just do it, Bam.’ I decided this was a better idea than just standing doing nothing. I finally rang the doorbell, and the sound caused a sudden uneasiness to fill my stomach. I was all nerves then. I stared at the door, wondering if and when it would open, half hoping it wouldn’t…but still wanting to see his face again.
I heard no footsteps coming to the door…there were no voices. Was he not home? I decided I’d wait a bit longer. Five minutes and he still didn’t come.
I rang the doorbell again, this time feeling like a fool for being so determined to see him. What was I doing anyway? He was a seventeen-year-old boy. And I had been twenty-four years old before I’d become a vampire. And now I would have been twenty-six: nine years older than him.
Another three minutes or so, and I’d heard no noise from the other side of the door. I might as well go. He must not have been home…probably for the best anyway.
I was halfway down the steps when I heard the door open and I turned around.
“Bam?” His voice was rugged, almost out of breath, only his face showing through the crack of the doorway. I looked up at him, not sure whether or not to say anything.
“What are you doing here?” Something about him seemed panicked. I wondered what it was. Something had to be wrong.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That…no one tried to murder you again or anything.”
He looked away for a moment, then back into my eyes, face now as smooth from emotion as porcelain, “I’m fine…um, no one’s tried to murder me or anything.”
His eyes were still locked to mine as I said, “Well, I was just concerned. Kamilah said she left you at Pizza Hut. I wanted to make sure you got home okay.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry it took me so long to answer the door. I was asleep.”
“Really? It’s only 6:30.”
“I don’t know. I was exhausted…I like taking naps.” At this he smiled, but it didn’t look like he’d actually wanted to.
“Well, I’m sorry I woke you up. I can let you get back to that nap if you want.”
“No, that’s fine. I’m rested now. You can come in…if you want.”
I wanted to cry for the loneliness I thought I saw in his eyes, but I laughed instead. “You just invited a vampire into your house. You know that means I can come anytime I want now, right?”
He scoffed, rolling his eyes, “You could do that anyway. Vampires don’t need an invitation, and they rarely ask for one.” I chuckled, not sure whether I should be delighted or disturbed at his cynicism. He knew too much about vampires to be a normal high-school boy.
I walked back up the stairs, trying my damnedest at not letting on just how much I wanted him already. I stared him down as I quickly approached him, wanting to cover the distance between us as quickly as possible.
When I reached the doorway, he just stood there, holding the door and staring at me. His eyes were slanted up at me, a look of…suspicion? He just stood like that for the longest time, unmoving, unsmiling. And, all this time only one thought crept into my mind. Well, not even a thought, more like a sense. I could smell blood. The scent was all over him, and there was no ignoring it. I was simply reduced to the position of struggling with my urge to grab him. It wasn’t until later that I even wondered why he would smell so strongly of blood.
“Ville? Are you really wanting me to come in, or did you just want me to walk up here so you could stare at me?” I tried to say this playfully, but I think I got the idea across that I was confused.
“Wha…oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Here, come in.” At that, he swung the door open wider, backing away as he did so to reveal the ornate living room with a gigantic velvet sofa in the center of the room, large television screen and stereo on the side-wall, glass chandelier included.
But I was really looking at him, after a passing glance at the room all my interest returned to Ville. He was wearing, or rather, being swallowed by, a large black robe. The end came down past his ankles and the oversized sleeves engulfed his hands. He looked at once expectant and terrified, his eyes stabbing into mine at first, then falling to the floor blankly, his arms wrapped tightly about his waist. The smell was all over the room, and all I could think about was ripping his clothes off and licking the blood from his open wounds. As I walked past the large door, he closed it slowly, as if this was a very difficult task, like he was weak and wounded. Oh, shit! How could I be so stupid? Wounded? Open wounds? He’s hurt! What happened to him? I immediately felt horrible for this bloodlust. How could I have been so self-centered?
He motioned his hand to the large couch in the middle of the room, and in front of it a coffee table covered in books. “You can have a seat, if you’d like.”
I walked to the couch seat in order to get further away from him, knowing if I smelled that too long I might just lose my mind. I looked to him as he moved slowly across the room, barely limping as he did so. He turned to face me; he seemed all nerves. Something had definitely happened.
“Would you like anything to drink, Bam?” At this he paused, a small blush falling to his cheeks, “…Oh, never mind. I wasn’t thinking. I need to change really quick. Could you wait while I do that? I’ll be right back.”
I wasn’t really paying attention to his words as I gave a small word of consent, and sat upon the ivory sofa with my thoughts. I looked to the glass chandelier, the stereo, and all around this beautifully extravagant room. There were sculptured marble stairs that curved behind the front door and led to a second floor, which could be partially seen past the thin railing on the hall above. Glass fixtures hung all about the hallway on the second floor, delicate things hanging from every wall. So much for trying to get comfortable in this house. The place made me feel like a bull in a china closet, even more so than Kamilah’s basement did. I’d tried looking around to get my thoughts settled, to calm my instincts to the blood scent I could still smell faintly. It really wasn’t something I could control very well. I found most vampires are as animalistic as sharks when they smell the blood pouring out of a human. I don’t think I’m much of an exception. But, hurting or frightening Ville was the last thing I’d ever want to do.
I planted my eyes in front of me, settling to the coffee table overtaken with books. There were just less than a dozen of them. They were all very thick, with titles like The Serial Killer Files and True Crime. Why were there ten books splayed out on murder? Oh, damn. These were the books Ville had checked out at the library. Ville had checked out ten books on murder, for school? I wondered at this, but it didn’t worry me near as much as the state he was in now. I had to know why he was bleeding. As strong as the smell had been, his injury seemed serious.
I had finally calmed myself a bit, when I heard Ville walk back into the room. With a sudden jolt in my stomach, I turned around to look. He came in from the back hall, a smile composing his face, complete with sparkling eyes. He was wearing the makeup I was used to seeing on him again, the black kohl around his eyes the same color as his tight-fitting pants and long-sleeved button down shirt. He had put on makeup because I was here? I could still smell the fresh blood as he entered the living room and came to sit beside me on the couch.
“Sorry about that,” he grinned, a slim finger moving to caress his bottom lip, “I looked like shit.” I stared as his eyes seemed to flash between their beautiful emerald color and something darker, and he sat looking at me as if he was waiting for something. I gave my best smile, not really sure what to do with this tempting, damaged creature.
He moved his arm around to embrace the other, a hooded look to his eyes. Then, all of a sudden, he was smiling again. “So Bam, is there anything you’d like to do or talk about while you’re here?”
I knew exactly what I wanted to talk about, and I wasn’t going to let the conversation get too casual for me to talk about it. I suddenly grabbed his left wrist, surprising the both of us, gently touching his forearm where I knew I would feel the wetness of bleeding through his clothes. “Ville, why are you bleeding? I could smell it all over you when I walked in. What happened?”
He gave a look of surprise, fear, maybe even anger. His mouth opened and then closed quickly, eyebrows raised. He tried to pull his arm out of my grasp, but I wouldn’t let him go. “I…give me my arm back, please.” He scowled, a sudden look of outrage masking over any surprise or fear he’d shown earlier.
“How could you walk around like this, Ville? Have you treated your wounds? You’ve almost drenched your sleeve. ”
“It’s…”
“Look, it’s okay. Let’s just get them doctored. Come on.” I rose, slowly pulling him up with me. I looked down at him, and he looked to the floor. I moved him closer to me, strong enough to overcome any physical resistance he attempted. I knew I was much stronger, trying to be delicate with him, again feeling that awkwardness, fearing I might accidentally break something in the room, especially Ville.
“Ville, let me see. Can I see why you’re bleeding? You really don’t want to leave that unattended.”
“Bam…” He seemed to have been pleading, begging me stop. He jerked his arm out of my grasp suddenly, but continued to stand in place. He looked around the room, and I suddenly realized one of the windows on the far wall was open to the world. I dashed over and pulled down the curtain, then turned back to look at him.
He moved his left arm to the front of his shirt, slowly undoing each button. “So, you really want to know what I look like under all of these clothes?” He didn’t look up, just continued moving his hand down his shirt.
“Oh, Ville. I wasn’t asking you to strip for me!” I stared at him even more, the sudden thought of him without his clothes on stinging my eyes, an ache entering me just to see him.
“Well, I’d have to strip if you actually wanted to treat all of these...” His deep voice was shaky, all nerves. This was really hard for him. Why was he doing it, did he feel like he had to? Well, I probably would have pushed him until he did, anyway. But, I hadn’t even gotten started with my nosiness, and he was already obeying me. He almost seemed afraid. I didn’t want him to be, not at all.
I watched in speechless suspense as he slowly discarded his shirt, revealing slender arms, shoulder, chest, and belly absolutely covered in cuts. They were deep, gaping doors into his body, all still bleeding rather heavily. I wondered how he hadn’t passed out from blood loss yet. His entire top half was stained with blood, the red, hot liquid running in thin rivulets down his skin…I could almost taste each drop.
I shook my head, not wanting to let my mind drift in that direction. He already looked uncomfortable and ashamed enough, the last thing he needed now was a vampire’s tongue running across his skin.
He was looking at me now, staring upright. He was almost proud in his stance. His stare was glazed, the usual bright green covered with a grayish film. His eyes were hollow and defiant. I wasn’t sure anymore if I could look at him. My heart wanted to break in two.
I moved towards him, soon standing so close to him I could actually feel his body heat, his essence dripping down his body in steaming streaks. “Ville…” Oh, hell. How could I resist this? Would he fight me, would he demand I leave? I wasn’t sure if I was even considering the consequences as I quickly took his hand in mine, staring into him. There wasn’t any going back on this, now that the idea was in my head. There wouldn’t be any bandages, alcohol, or cotton balls. Just my tongue and my own blood, cleaning his wounds and making them disappear.
I moved my mouth to one of the cuts on his hand, softly lapping up the blood that had dried around it, not sucking or biting. No, I wouldn’t dare hurt him. Ville let out a small gasp, his hand tightening around mine. I looked up at his face, his eyes full of shock and that same unreadable hooded expression I’d noticed earlier.
“Shh…it’s all right, Ville. I won’t hurt you. Just let me clean your wounds, and heal you.” His hand tightened even more, fingers curling through mine, and he was trembling. I continued looking into his eyes, which had went off to the side, avoiding mine. “Is this all right? I promise you, I’d never do this against your will.”
He almost moaned, a small whine escaping his throat. I was frozen in waiting, and lost in the beauty I probably didn’t deserve to see or hear. “Please, Bam. Go on.” He smiled a small smile, sleepy and sad at the same time. I returned his smile, not sure what else to do, feeling my eyes might pop if I stared much harder.
I brought my tongue back to his skin, moving slowly from hand to wrist, wrist to arm, eventually covering all of him from the waist up. I was licking and lapping, the sweet metallic of his blood filling me as he shifted and trembled beneath my touch. My hands encircled his back as I bent my neck to lick his shoulders; my arms slowly turned him around as I eased him onto the couch. He complied, no resistance, his body seeming limp once it had hit the support of the furniture. I was leaning over him on the couch, all of my weight held up by my arms, my fear of hurting him not allowing me to even brush against him. He shivered as I returned my tongue to his flesh, almost causing me to get so weak from the taste that I fell on top of him. I was dreaming, I was high…something was terribly wrong. This couldn’t be happening to me, I was hallucinating. A weakened disbelief pervaded my thoughts until the reality of his blood and his sweet trembling body overtook my numbness, my detachment.
This was real. I was really this close to him. A joy so brilliant it blinded drowned out my nagging sense of guilt. I dipped my tongue down into a huge gash on his chest; feeling him shake under me, moan because of me. What was he feeling right now? Was he still afraid of me? “Does that hurt?”
He didn’t speak, only sighing an answer that I could hardly make out as a ‘no’.
I licked each wound until the bleeding stopped, slowly working my way down his chest, even covering an abused nipple. As I did so, he almost growled in response, arching his back for his chest to meet my mouth. I couldn’t have stopped if I’d wanted to, moving gradually lower and lower until I’d come to the rim of his jeans.
“Oh…Bam. Just a minute.” He moved his hands in front of him to the button of his jeans, quickly undoing both buttons and running his fingers down the zipper. He worked his way out of the jeans like a serpent, throwing them in the floor afterwards, revealing silky black boxers and long, strong legs injured by deep fresh cuts and the resulting blood. I looked up from his legs into his eyes again, “Ville, what happened? Did someone do this to you?”
“Ah…well, yes. I…I did it.” Hollow eyes, again.
“Oh, hell. Ville…” I bent my head to his legs, licking the blood up rapidly, deeper. Fever overtook me. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore, as my tongue ran torridly over his broken skin, and covering even the places untouched by the blade. I moaned in this passion, losing track of the human I was supposed to be impersonating. I grabbed my own wrist, sinking my fangs deep into my flesh, causing the blood to come gushing through the opening. I let my blood drop into his wounds, watching as they closed immediately at the strange magic my own blood seemed to contain.
“No, Bam…don’t do that!” He almost cried as he watched the wounds heal themselves.
“What?”
“I don’t want them to disappear…and now you’re bleeding, too.”
I looked down at him, surprise probably written all over my face. “You don’t want me to heal you?”
He shook his head, “No, it’s not that. It’s just that if you heal me, I’ll do it again sooner. Let me keep the marks.”
I sighed, a sudden sadness filling me. What had caused him so much agony to do this to himself? I put my mouth on the bite at my wrist, allowing it to heal completely within minutes, as I stared down at him.
I sat up, moving away from his gorgeous body and to the edge of the couch, “I’m so sorry, Ville. I really wasn’t thinking at all.”
He smiled, head shaking slightly. “Don’t apologize. Please, just don’t walk away from me. I want you to stay here.”
“You…” I stared in amazement as he sat up, scooting closer to fold me in his arms.
“Please, just lie with me. I can’t tell you how much I’m feeling right now.”
I obeyed, allowing him to lay me on my back, resting his head on my chest. He was still half-naked in his boxers, not seeming self-conscious in the slightest sense of the word. “Bam Bam…” I heard him mumble to himself right before he drifted off to sleep. It was 8:00p.m. I simply lie there, unmoving, finding my fingers creeping into the soft curls of his long, dark hair. The sight of him made me so sad, and so excited, all at once. But, the sadness was sweet, and the excitement was only a small vibration of the passion I had felt earlier.
I remember my only thought at that time being, ‘This is bliss’. I continued stroking his hair as I fell into a shallow sleep.
My Skin
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand
Your face-saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Because I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Well, contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them, no
I don't need them
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Do you remember the way that you touched me before
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored
Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
Well is it dark enough
Can you see me
Do you want me
Can you reach me
Oh, I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
And kiss me now
And catch your death
Oh, I mean this
Oh, I mean this
<\lj-cut>
Title: The Endless (I now hate this title, but have decided to stick with it)
Genre: fantasy/horror/drama/smut/comedy/randomness
Rating: G to R to NC-17…for blood/violence/explicit sex (later, sorry)/angst/pain/and anything else I can think of
Summary: Bam is a vampire and Ville is out to slay him. (in an effort to promote myself, I finally cave and write a summary)
POV: Alternating between first person Bam and first person Ville
Pairing: VAM, eventually, with lots of implications of other pairings.
Author’s Note: Every song I list on here is something that influenced me in some way while writing the chapter. Either the song goes with the mood or events in the chapter, or I obsessively listened to the music on repeat while writing. Or, I borrowed lyrics.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bam (or friends), Ville, Lauri, or the members of HIM. I have never been to Philadelphia, and one of my best friends invented Kamilah. Jaied, other random characters, and the events of the story, however, are my creation and I OWN them. ;)
Prologue: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/520.html#cutid1
Chapter 1 and 2: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/815.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://swamptwitch9666.livejournal.com/1189.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1339.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1708.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1367385.html
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1379765.html
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1417375.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1432811.html
Chapter 10:
(Bam)
I stood staring at Ville’s large redwood door. ‘Should I really be here?’ I had been standing there for a full five minutes just trying to decide whether or not to ring the doorbell. What if he didn’t want to see me? Maybe I would be pushing this, to come to his house the very next night…but I wanted to make sure he was okay. This had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I had a burning need to see him. I mean, he’d almost gotten shot in the head yesterday. ‘I should just push the button and see if he comes to the door…if he doesn’t, I’ll leave.’
I moved my finger towards the doorbell. ‘What if Kamilah had been right? Even if just a shred of truth had entered her words…would I still be doing this if I’d believed her?’ I hesitated, not pushing the button, but resting my hand on the brick beside it.
She’d told me that she’d taken Ville out for pizza. Strange to think of her being that nice to a stranger, I know, but she’d said ‘sympathy welled up in her heart’ for him. She’d said she had asked him a very simple question, a very common question, and he’d flinched. She wouldn’t tell me what the question was, of course, but she’d said I should keep my guard up, and stay away from his house. She hadn’t wanted me to go anywhere tonight, but I never do what she says. I’d left the place unnoticed when two vampires, a man and a woman that I’d never seen before, came through the door, looking quite angry. I hadn’t wanted to hang around to watch the resulting battle.
‘Just do it, Bam.’ I decided this was a better idea than just standing doing nothing. I finally rang the doorbell, and the sound caused a sudden uneasiness to fill my stomach. I was all nerves then. I stared at the door, wondering if and when it would open, half hoping it wouldn’t…but still wanting to see his face again.
I heard no footsteps coming to the door…there were no voices. Was he not home? I decided I’d wait a bit longer. Five minutes and he still didn’t come.
I rang the doorbell again, this time feeling like a fool for being so determined to see him. What was I doing anyway? He was a seventeen-year-old boy. And I had been twenty-four years old before I’d become a vampire. And now I would have been twenty-six: nine years older than him.
Another three minutes or so, and I’d heard no noise from the other side of the door. I might as well go. He must not have been home…probably for the best anyway.
I was halfway down the steps when I heard the door open and I turned around.
“Bam?” His voice was rugged, almost out of breath, only his face showing through the crack of the doorway. I looked up at him, not sure whether or not to say anything.
“What are you doing here?” Something about him seemed panicked. I wondered what it was. Something had to be wrong.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That…no one tried to murder you again or anything.”
He looked away for a moment, then back into my eyes, face now as smooth from emotion as porcelain, “I’m fine…um, no one’s tried to murder me or anything.”
His eyes were still locked to mine as I said, “Well, I was just concerned. Kamilah said she left you at Pizza Hut. I wanted to make sure you got home okay.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry it took me so long to answer the door. I was asleep.”
“Really? It’s only 6:30.”
“I don’t know. I was exhausted…I like taking naps.” At this he smiled, but it didn’t look like he’d actually wanted to.
“Well, I’m sorry I woke you up. I can let you get back to that nap if you want.”
“No, that’s fine. I’m rested now. You can come in…if you want.”
I wanted to cry for the loneliness I thought I saw in his eyes, but I laughed instead. “You just invited a vampire into your house. You know that means I can come anytime I want now, right?”
He scoffed, rolling his eyes, “You could do that anyway. Vampires don’t need an invitation, and they rarely ask for one.” I chuckled, not sure whether I should be delighted or disturbed at his cynicism. He knew too much about vampires to be a normal high-school boy.
I walked back up the stairs, trying my damnedest at not letting on just how much I wanted him already. I stared him down as I quickly approached him, wanting to cover the distance between us as quickly as possible.
When I reached the doorway, he just stood there, holding the door and staring at me. His eyes were slanted up at me, a look of…suspicion? He just stood like that for the longest time, unmoving, unsmiling. And, all this time only one thought crept into my mind. Well, not even a thought, more like a sense. I could smell blood. The scent was all over him, and there was no ignoring it. I was simply reduced to the position of struggling with my urge to grab him. It wasn’t until later that I even wondered why he would smell so strongly of blood.
“Ville? Are you really wanting me to come in, or did you just want me to walk up here so you could stare at me?” I tried to say this playfully, but I think I got the idea across that I was confused.
“Wha…oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Here, come in.” At that, he swung the door open wider, backing away as he did so to reveal the ornate living room with a gigantic velvet sofa in the center of the room, large television screen and stereo on the side-wall, glass chandelier included.
But I was really looking at him, after a passing glance at the room all my interest returned to Ville. He was wearing, or rather, being swallowed by, a large black robe. The end came down past his ankles and the oversized sleeves engulfed his hands. He looked at once expectant and terrified, his eyes stabbing into mine at first, then falling to the floor blankly, his arms wrapped tightly about his waist. The smell was all over the room, and all I could think about was ripping his clothes off and licking the blood from his open wounds. As I walked past the large door, he closed it slowly, as if this was a very difficult task, like he was weak and wounded. Oh, shit! How could I be so stupid? Wounded? Open wounds? He’s hurt! What happened to him? I immediately felt horrible for this bloodlust. How could I have been so self-centered?
He motioned his hand to the large couch in the middle of the room, and in front of it a coffee table covered in books. “You can have a seat, if you’d like.”
I walked to the couch seat in order to get further away from him, knowing if I smelled that too long I might just lose my mind. I looked to him as he moved slowly across the room, barely limping as he did so. He turned to face me; he seemed all nerves. Something had definitely happened.
“Would you like anything to drink, Bam?” At this he paused, a small blush falling to his cheeks, “…Oh, never mind. I wasn’t thinking. I need to change really quick. Could you wait while I do that? I’ll be right back.”
I wasn’t really paying attention to his words as I gave a small word of consent, and sat upon the ivory sofa with my thoughts. I looked to the glass chandelier, the stereo, and all around this beautifully extravagant room. There were sculptured marble stairs that curved behind the front door and led to a second floor, which could be partially seen past the thin railing on the hall above. Glass fixtures hung all about the hallway on the second floor, delicate things hanging from every wall. So much for trying to get comfortable in this house. The place made me feel like a bull in a china closet, even more so than Kamilah’s basement did. I’d tried looking around to get my thoughts settled, to calm my instincts to the blood scent I could still smell faintly. It really wasn’t something I could control very well. I found most vampires are as animalistic as sharks when they smell the blood pouring out of a human. I don’t think I’m much of an exception. But, hurting or frightening Ville was the last thing I’d ever want to do.
I planted my eyes in front of me, settling to the coffee table overtaken with books. There were just less than a dozen of them. They were all very thick, with titles like The Serial Killer Files and True Crime. Why were there ten books splayed out on murder? Oh, damn. These were the books Ville had checked out at the library. Ville had checked out ten books on murder, for school? I wondered at this, but it didn’t worry me near as much as the state he was in now. I had to know why he was bleeding. As strong as the smell had been, his injury seemed serious.
I had finally calmed myself a bit, when I heard Ville walk back into the room. With a sudden jolt in my stomach, I turned around to look. He came in from the back hall, a smile composing his face, complete with sparkling eyes. He was wearing the makeup I was used to seeing on him again, the black kohl around his eyes the same color as his tight-fitting pants and long-sleeved button down shirt. He had put on makeup because I was here? I could still smell the fresh blood as he entered the living room and came to sit beside me on the couch.
“Sorry about that,” he grinned, a slim finger moving to caress his bottom lip, “I looked like shit.” I stared as his eyes seemed to flash between their beautiful emerald color and something darker, and he sat looking at me as if he was waiting for something. I gave my best smile, not really sure what to do with this tempting, damaged creature.
He moved his arm around to embrace the other, a hooded look to his eyes. Then, all of a sudden, he was smiling again. “So Bam, is there anything you’d like to do or talk about while you’re here?”
I knew exactly what I wanted to talk about, and I wasn’t going to let the conversation get too casual for me to talk about it. I suddenly grabbed his left wrist, surprising the both of us, gently touching his forearm where I knew I would feel the wetness of bleeding through his clothes. “Ville, why are you bleeding? I could smell it all over you when I walked in. What happened?”
He gave a look of surprise, fear, maybe even anger. His mouth opened and then closed quickly, eyebrows raised. He tried to pull his arm out of my grasp, but I wouldn’t let him go. “I…give me my arm back, please.” He scowled, a sudden look of outrage masking over any surprise or fear he’d shown earlier.
“How could you walk around like this, Ville? Have you treated your wounds? You’ve almost drenched your sleeve. ”
“It’s…”
“Look, it’s okay. Let’s just get them doctored. Come on.” I rose, slowly pulling him up with me. I looked down at him, and he looked to the floor. I moved him closer to me, strong enough to overcome any physical resistance he attempted. I knew I was much stronger, trying to be delicate with him, again feeling that awkwardness, fearing I might accidentally break something in the room, especially Ville.
“Ville, let me see. Can I see why you’re bleeding? You really don’t want to leave that unattended.”
“Bam…” He seemed to have been pleading, begging me stop. He jerked his arm out of my grasp suddenly, but continued to stand in place. He looked around the room, and I suddenly realized one of the windows on the far wall was open to the world. I dashed over and pulled down the curtain, then turned back to look at him.
He moved his left arm to the front of his shirt, slowly undoing each button. “So, you really want to know what I look like under all of these clothes?” He didn’t look up, just continued moving his hand down his shirt.
“Oh, Ville. I wasn’t asking you to strip for me!” I stared at him even more, the sudden thought of him without his clothes on stinging my eyes, an ache entering me just to see him.
“Well, I’d have to strip if you actually wanted to treat all of these...” His deep voice was shaky, all nerves. This was really hard for him. Why was he doing it, did he feel like he had to? Well, I probably would have pushed him until he did, anyway. But, I hadn’t even gotten started with my nosiness, and he was already obeying me. He almost seemed afraid. I didn’t want him to be, not at all.
I watched in speechless suspense as he slowly discarded his shirt, revealing slender arms, shoulder, chest, and belly absolutely covered in cuts. They were deep, gaping doors into his body, all still bleeding rather heavily. I wondered how he hadn’t passed out from blood loss yet. His entire top half was stained with blood, the red, hot liquid running in thin rivulets down his skin…I could almost taste each drop.
I shook my head, not wanting to let my mind drift in that direction. He already looked uncomfortable and ashamed enough, the last thing he needed now was a vampire’s tongue running across his skin.
He was looking at me now, staring upright. He was almost proud in his stance. His stare was glazed, the usual bright green covered with a grayish film. His eyes were hollow and defiant. I wasn’t sure anymore if I could look at him. My heart wanted to break in two.
I moved towards him, soon standing so close to him I could actually feel his body heat, his essence dripping down his body in steaming streaks. “Ville…” Oh, hell. How could I resist this? Would he fight me, would he demand I leave? I wasn’t sure if I was even considering the consequences as I quickly took his hand in mine, staring into him. There wasn’t any going back on this, now that the idea was in my head. There wouldn’t be any bandages, alcohol, or cotton balls. Just my tongue and my own blood, cleaning his wounds and making them disappear.
I moved my mouth to one of the cuts on his hand, softly lapping up the blood that had dried around it, not sucking or biting. No, I wouldn’t dare hurt him. Ville let out a small gasp, his hand tightening around mine. I looked up at his face, his eyes full of shock and that same unreadable hooded expression I’d noticed earlier.
“Shh…it’s all right, Ville. I won’t hurt you. Just let me clean your wounds, and heal you.” His hand tightened even more, fingers curling through mine, and he was trembling. I continued looking into his eyes, which had went off to the side, avoiding mine. “Is this all right? I promise you, I’d never do this against your will.”
He almost moaned, a small whine escaping his throat. I was frozen in waiting, and lost in the beauty I probably didn’t deserve to see or hear. “Please, Bam. Go on.” He smiled a small smile, sleepy and sad at the same time. I returned his smile, not sure what else to do, feeling my eyes might pop if I stared much harder.
I brought my tongue back to his skin, moving slowly from hand to wrist, wrist to arm, eventually covering all of him from the waist up. I was licking and lapping, the sweet metallic of his blood filling me as he shifted and trembled beneath my touch. My hands encircled his back as I bent my neck to lick his shoulders; my arms slowly turned him around as I eased him onto the couch. He complied, no resistance, his body seeming limp once it had hit the support of the furniture. I was leaning over him on the couch, all of my weight held up by my arms, my fear of hurting him not allowing me to even brush against him. He shivered as I returned my tongue to his flesh, almost causing me to get so weak from the taste that I fell on top of him. I was dreaming, I was high…something was terribly wrong. This couldn’t be happening to me, I was hallucinating. A weakened disbelief pervaded my thoughts until the reality of his blood and his sweet trembling body overtook my numbness, my detachment.
This was real. I was really this close to him. A joy so brilliant it blinded drowned out my nagging sense of guilt. I dipped my tongue down into a huge gash on his chest; feeling him shake under me, moan because of me. What was he feeling right now? Was he still afraid of me? “Does that hurt?”
He didn’t speak, only sighing an answer that I could hardly make out as a ‘no’.
I licked each wound until the bleeding stopped, slowly working my way down his chest, even covering an abused nipple. As I did so, he almost growled in response, arching his back for his chest to meet my mouth. I couldn’t have stopped if I’d wanted to, moving gradually lower and lower until I’d come to the rim of his jeans.
“Oh…Bam. Just a minute.” He moved his hands in front of him to the button of his jeans, quickly undoing both buttons and running his fingers down the zipper. He worked his way out of the jeans like a serpent, throwing them in the floor afterwards, revealing silky black boxers and long, strong legs injured by deep fresh cuts and the resulting blood. I looked up from his legs into his eyes again, “Ville, what happened? Did someone do this to you?”
“Ah…well, yes. I…I did it.” Hollow eyes, again.
“Oh, hell. Ville…” I bent my head to his legs, licking the blood up rapidly, deeper. Fever overtook me. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore, as my tongue ran torridly over his broken skin, and covering even the places untouched by the blade. I moaned in this passion, losing track of the human I was supposed to be impersonating. I grabbed my own wrist, sinking my fangs deep into my flesh, causing the blood to come gushing through the opening. I let my blood drop into his wounds, watching as they closed immediately at the strange magic my own blood seemed to contain.
“No, Bam…don’t do that!” He almost cried as he watched the wounds heal themselves.
“What?”
“I don’t want them to disappear…and now you’re bleeding, too.”
I looked down at him, surprise probably written all over my face. “You don’t want me to heal you?”
He shook his head, “No, it’s not that. It’s just that if you heal me, I’ll do it again sooner. Let me keep the marks.”
I sighed, a sudden sadness filling me. What had caused him so much agony to do this to himself? I put my mouth on the bite at my wrist, allowing it to heal completely within minutes, as I stared down at him.
I sat up, moving away from his gorgeous body and to the edge of the couch, “I’m so sorry, Ville. I really wasn’t thinking at all.”
He smiled, head shaking slightly. “Don’t apologize. Please, just don’t walk away from me. I want you to stay here.”
“You…” I stared in amazement as he sat up, scooting closer to fold me in his arms.
“Please, just lie with me. I can’t tell you how much I’m feeling right now.”
I obeyed, allowing him to lay me on my back, resting his head on my chest. He was still half-naked in his boxers, not seeming self-conscious in the slightest sense of the word. “Bam Bam…” I heard him mumble to himself right before he drifted off to sleep. It was 8:00p.m. I simply lie there, unmoving, finding my fingers creeping into the soft curls of his long, dark hair. The sight of him made me so sad, and so excited, all at once. But, the sadness was sweet, and the excitement was only a small vibration of the passion I had felt earlier.
I remember my only thought at that time being, ‘This is bliss’. I continued stroking his hair as I fell into a shallow sleep.
My Skin
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand
Your face-saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Because I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Well, contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them, no
I don't need them
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Do you remember the way that you touched me before
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored
Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
Well is it dark enough
Can you see me
Do you want me
Can you reach me
Oh, I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
And kiss me now
And catch your death
Oh, I mean this
Oh, I mean this
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