The Endless: Chapter 11B
Well, the commenters on 11A made me feel so good that I poof! magic have another peace offering of VAMpire fiction! I hope you enjoy! *going off to bed now, before I collapse*
Title: The Endless (I now hate this title, but have decided to stick with it)
Genre: fantasy/horror/drama/smut/comedy/randomness
Rating: G to R to NC-17…for blood/violence/explicit sex (later, sorry)/angst/pain/and anything else I can think of
Summary: Bam is a vampire and Ville is out to slay him. (in an effort to promote myself, I finally cave and write a summary)
POV: Alternating between first person Bam and first person Ville
Pairing: VAM, eventually, with lots of implications of other pairings.
Author’s Note: Every song I list on here is something that influenced me in some way while writing the chapter. Either the song goes with the mood or events in the chapter, or I obsessively listened to the music on repeat while writing. Or, I borrowed lyrics.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bam (or friends), Ville, Lauri, or the members of HIM. I have never been to Philadelphia, and one of my best friends invented Kamilah. Jaied, other random characters, and the events of the story, however, are my creation and I OWN them. ;)
Prologue: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/520.html#cutid1
Chapter 1 and 2: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/815.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://swamptwitch9666.livejournal.com/1189.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1339.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1708.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1367385.html
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1379765.html
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1417375.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1432811.html
Chapter 10: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1468207.html
Chapter 11B: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1520329.html#cutid1
Chapter 11B
(Bam)
There was no way I was getting back to sleep. I’d been lying in bed next to him for at least an hour and a half. I was lost, spinning…
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Thoughts chased each other through my head, images filming over the shadows on Ville’s ceiling. His beautiful porcelain skin, and the angry red marks I’d dabbed with alcohol and bandaged before we’d went to his room. His small winces of pain at the rubbing alcohol burning his open wounds. Just the way he’d steadied himself by gripping his hand on my shoulder as we walked back through the hallway from the bathroom. He’d wanted a shirt after that, and I had to help him put it on.
His sheets had been drenched with blood. He stood there helplessly, as I told him I’d take care of it. He’d offered to help at least ten different times, shame and sorrow written all over those downcast emerald orbs.
Changing the sheets, he’d hesitated when the bed was made. I moved to the doorway, to the light switch. I asked him if it was okay to turn the lights out. All he’d said was, “Please, just close the door. And lock it.” I obeyed, locking the door and turning out the light, then turning to see Ville still standing beside the bed looking almost frightened.
“Ville?” He stared down at the bed, wrapping his arms around his chest. From where I stood on the other side of the bed, he’d looked like a terrified, shivering child. Soft, dark curls fell down in front of his face as he moved quickly to the side of the bed, sitting on the edge but not moving to crawl in. His back faced mine, the long, oversized white shirt he wore making him appear young, vulnerable, girlish.
“Hey, Ville,” I whispered, trying to sound gentle, “It’s okay. You can get in the bed now.” I wasn’t sure how to position myself. I felt awkward all of a sudden. Too big, too strong. I could hurt him so easily, and it would be an accident. I had somehow managed to swing myself around his small form, having crawled under the covers myself and moving so close to him I could feel his warmth in the pit of my stomach…my knees touching the edge of his hips, arms wrapped around him in this unnatural, uncomfortable twisting up to touch his face and lay him down over me. I’d really had no idea what I was doing, hardly even acknowledging how suggestive I’d been. Trying to be cute…I’d wanted to pull him into me, and cuddle him the way he’d let me on the couch. But, he’d stiffened the moment I pulled him back against me with my left arm. Grabbing my wrist tightly in both of his hands, he fell backwards like a brittle wooden stick. The twin jewels of his face turned glassy, staring up at the ceiling, his neck draped over my waist. Then, he spoke…
“Please, please, no…” He looked to me, eyes pleading, “ this is just the way it happened the first time I thought someone could save me…”
I turned onto my back slowly, lifting his head then letting it rest on my stomach. “What’s happening, Ville? And how is it like…what are you talking about?” I was worried, deeply worried. Almost frustrated. Something in the way his eyes glazed, like someone had poured oil into them, almost frightened me. Frightened for him, wanting to understand what he meant, but afraid of the knowledge and the hopelessness it might bring.
His voice finally returned, rousing me from my own thoughts, “This is happening. You’re holding me. Gentle, yes…but even if you don’t understand it…you know where all of this is going to end up. You’re…you’re so much stronger than me. I couldn’t have stopped you from pulling me down on you if I’d wanted to. If…if there’s something you want, you’ll have it. So, please…don’t pretend to care how I feel. Just take…what you want…now. I’d feel much better that way. If I came to trust you…and then you…you took it from me, I know how horrible I’d feel.” The oil in his eyes was spilling onto his cheeks, silently in small rivers. I wanted to die when he turned and buried his tear-stricken face into my clothes. He wasn’t sobbing, but a silent weeping seemed to fill the room, causing the walls to sweat and spin with the echo.
“Ville…god I’m so sorry.” My voice was rough to my ears, tight with the effort of suppressing a sigh, a gasp…a sob. I was so horrible with crying people. I never knew what to say or what to do. I put my arm over the small of his back, trying to comfort him and find a safe place to put it at the same time. “I don’t completely understand what you mean, but…what makes you think I’m just pretending I care about you?”
“Because there’s not a soul in this world who’d have anything to do with me unless they wanted something. I’m not fit for caring, Bam. I’m not up to friendship. I’m a fucking mess, and I know it. If you’re here for something other than sex or blood, then you’re even more screwed up than I am…so just stop acting like this is something special. Just get this over with. I can’t stand the wait anymore. Take me, take whatever you want, and then I can either sleep or die. I didn’t bring you in here for sleep!” As he spoke, he had turned his face to look at mine, rising over me, face getting so close to mine I wasn’t sure if our faces were touching or not. He looked into my eyes so intensely I thought maybe I’d fallen into them, and now the color of my eyes had bled into his. He moved forward quickly, closing the distance between our lips in one grand dive. His lips closed over mine before I had the chance to react…before I could kiss back…or pull away.
His soft lips had overtaken mine, sending wave after wave of shock through every branch of my body. What could I do when he was pressing against my mouth so firm and soft, his tongue swirling excitedly, begging for access to mine? I wish I could have been exaggerating when I say his mouth tasted like wine…like a deep red burgundy. I couldn’t have mistaken the taste, for I’d drank the stuff so much before. He was sucking on my lips, gently caressing my lips with his. The kiss must have lasted for three minutes before I remembered where I was and just what was happening.
I grabbed his shoulders roughly, pulling his warmth away from me and sitting him up briskly. He was breathing hard, panting…tears still streaming down his face, eyes glowing, blazing…a golden green fire burned inside his skull…and I was completely ill prepared to deal with it.
He smiled wickedly, eyes narrowing as he turned his head at an angle. “You don’t like the kissing…well then…let’s just get to the main course.” I opened my mouth to protest, to push him back even further, but no words came, and my hands fell limp at my sides… He grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me towards him, moving his hands down to the buttons of my jacket. He was mad, frantic…almost ripping my overcoat off of my, obviously trying to hold back the sobs as he threw it across the room. I was falling, losing myself…not even thinking.
“Come on. How do you like it? Are you a top or a bottom? I’ll do anything to you that you want me to…but, you’ve got to talk to me and get that stupid look off your face! Bam Bam…”
His words stung…how cold and empty he seemed then. I wanted to scream at him for a very long moment. My words finally broke out all over the room.
“Ville! Jesus Christ in hell! You don’t have to do this with me! I…I’m sorry…so…oh god! How can you do this while you’re balling your eyes out? I don’t want you like this…I mean…I can’t pretend I’m not attracted to you…but this is horrible, like this!”
He was looking down, almost shaking, trembling, the tears flooding and running all down his cheeks and onto the bed. He shivered up and down…sobbing. I’d made him cry even more. Jesus, sometimes I wanted to shoot myself. He backed away from me, swiftly, like a hunted animal. He’d run through the dark of his room to the doorway, collapsing against the wood and slipping into the floor, a heap of arms, legs, and hair making a ball of ruin in the entrance.
I walked toward him, unsure, feeling guilty. I went to kneel beside him, moving my hand out to touch his hair… “I shouldn’t have raised my voice. Just come here…”
He jumped out of his skin when I peeled him from the floor, taking him into my arms and carrying him to the bed. “You must think I’m a stupid, impulsive, foolish…immature child now.” He whined more…shaking violently as I lay him on the bed, tucking him into the covers.
“No, Ville. You break my heart…I…I refuse to take advantage of you like that.” I moved around the end of the bed, moving in beside him to hold him. “Try to go to sleep, I’ll be here. And, I’ll never…ever…just take what I want.”
He scowled, lowering his voice to a growl, “Yeah, well I won’t hold you to that. You’re a liar.”
Despite his sardonic comment, he was asleep within fifteen minutes, and I left alone to think about him. I’d drifted in and out of consciousness, once or twice…but mostly I’d just lie there beside Ville, fully awake and painfully aware of how much pain he was in.
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I looked to him now, so peaceful in his sleep, as if nothing ever troubled him. He even smiled a tiny smile. He turned to face me in his sleep, arms moving forward to let fingers curl around my shoulders and neck. I was trapped in this feeling. I couldn’t escape it for all the morals and politeness in the world; it didn’t matter anymore that he was seventeen and I was a vampire. All I could think about was making love to him and softening his cold anger and tears. He was like an angel to me that had fallen from heaven. I didn’t care what had happened to him, what he’d done. To me, he was the most innocent, tender creature walking, and I had no desire other than to love him.
So...ummm...I'm really tired now. And comments are cuddled and cherished even if they're evil! *Pleas and gets down on knees for comments* I'll give cookies! No I'm sorry. Rule #39, "No bribing the audience". *bows to take her leave*
Title: The Endless (I now hate this title, but have decided to stick with it)
Genre: fantasy/horror/drama/smut/comedy/randomness
Rating: G to R to NC-17…for blood/violence/explicit sex (later, sorry)/angst/pain/and anything else I can think of
Summary: Bam is a vampire and Ville is out to slay him. (in an effort to promote myself, I finally cave and write a summary)
POV: Alternating between first person Bam and first person Ville
Pairing: VAM, eventually, with lots of implications of other pairings.
Author’s Note: Every song I list on here is something that influenced me in some way while writing the chapter. Either the song goes with the mood or events in the chapter, or I obsessively listened to the music on repeat while writing. Or, I borrowed lyrics.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bam (or friends), Ville, Lauri, or the members of HIM. I have never been to Philadelphia, and one of my best friends invented Kamilah. Jaied, other random characters, and the events of the story, however, are my creation and I OWN them. ;)
Prologue: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/520.html#cutid1
Chapter 1 and 2: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/815.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://swamptwitch9666.livejournal.com/1189.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1339.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1708.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1367385.html
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1379765.html
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1417375.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1432811.html
Chapter 10: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1468207.html
Chapter 11B: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1520329.html#cutid1
Chapter 11B
(Bam)
There was no way I was getting back to sleep. I’d been lying in bed next to him for at least an hour and a half. I was lost, spinning…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thoughts chased each other through my head, images filming over the shadows on Ville’s ceiling. His beautiful porcelain skin, and the angry red marks I’d dabbed with alcohol and bandaged before we’d went to his room. His small winces of pain at the rubbing alcohol burning his open wounds. Just the way he’d steadied himself by gripping his hand on my shoulder as we walked back through the hallway from the bathroom. He’d wanted a shirt after that, and I had to help him put it on.
His sheets had been drenched with blood. He stood there helplessly, as I told him I’d take care of it. He’d offered to help at least ten different times, shame and sorrow written all over those downcast emerald orbs.
Changing the sheets, he’d hesitated when the bed was made. I moved to the doorway, to the light switch. I asked him if it was okay to turn the lights out. All he’d said was, “Please, just close the door. And lock it.” I obeyed, locking the door and turning out the light, then turning to see Ville still standing beside the bed looking almost frightened.
“Ville?” He stared down at the bed, wrapping his arms around his chest. From where I stood on the other side of the bed, he’d looked like a terrified, shivering child. Soft, dark curls fell down in front of his face as he moved quickly to the side of the bed, sitting on the edge but not moving to crawl in. His back faced mine, the long, oversized white shirt he wore making him appear young, vulnerable, girlish.
“Hey, Ville,” I whispered, trying to sound gentle, “It’s okay. You can get in the bed now.” I wasn’t sure how to position myself. I felt awkward all of a sudden. Too big, too strong. I could hurt him so easily, and it would be an accident. I had somehow managed to swing myself around his small form, having crawled under the covers myself and moving so close to him I could feel his warmth in the pit of my stomach…my knees touching the edge of his hips, arms wrapped around him in this unnatural, uncomfortable twisting up to touch his face and lay him down over me. I’d really had no idea what I was doing, hardly even acknowledging how suggestive I’d been. Trying to be cute…I’d wanted to pull him into me, and cuddle him the way he’d let me on the couch. But, he’d stiffened the moment I pulled him back against me with my left arm. Grabbing my wrist tightly in both of his hands, he fell backwards like a brittle wooden stick. The twin jewels of his face turned glassy, staring up at the ceiling, his neck draped over my waist. Then, he spoke…
“Please, please, no…” He looked to me, eyes pleading, “ this is just the way it happened the first time I thought someone could save me…”
I turned onto my back slowly, lifting his head then letting it rest on my stomach. “What’s happening, Ville? And how is it like…what are you talking about?” I was worried, deeply worried. Almost frustrated. Something in the way his eyes glazed, like someone had poured oil into them, almost frightened me. Frightened for him, wanting to understand what he meant, but afraid of the knowledge and the hopelessness it might bring.
His voice finally returned, rousing me from my own thoughts, “This is happening. You’re holding me. Gentle, yes…but even if you don’t understand it…you know where all of this is going to end up. You’re…you’re so much stronger than me. I couldn’t have stopped you from pulling me down on you if I’d wanted to. If…if there’s something you want, you’ll have it. So, please…don’t pretend to care how I feel. Just take…what you want…now. I’d feel much better that way. If I came to trust you…and then you…you took it from me, I know how horrible I’d feel.” The oil in his eyes was spilling onto his cheeks, silently in small rivers. I wanted to die when he turned and buried his tear-stricken face into my clothes. He wasn’t sobbing, but a silent weeping seemed to fill the room, causing the walls to sweat and spin with the echo.
“Ville…god I’m so sorry.” My voice was rough to my ears, tight with the effort of suppressing a sigh, a gasp…a sob. I was so horrible with crying people. I never knew what to say or what to do. I put my arm over the small of his back, trying to comfort him and find a safe place to put it at the same time. “I don’t completely understand what you mean, but…what makes you think I’m just pretending I care about you?”
“Because there’s not a soul in this world who’d have anything to do with me unless they wanted something. I’m not fit for caring, Bam. I’m not up to friendship. I’m a fucking mess, and I know it. If you’re here for something other than sex or blood, then you’re even more screwed up than I am…so just stop acting like this is something special. Just get this over with. I can’t stand the wait anymore. Take me, take whatever you want, and then I can either sleep or die. I didn’t bring you in here for sleep!” As he spoke, he had turned his face to look at mine, rising over me, face getting so close to mine I wasn’t sure if our faces were touching or not. He looked into my eyes so intensely I thought maybe I’d fallen into them, and now the color of my eyes had bled into his. He moved forward quickly, closing the distance between our lips in one grand dive. His lips closed over mine before I had the chance to react…before I could kiss back…or pull away.
His soft lips had overtaken mine, sending wave after wave of shock through every branch of my body. What could I do when he was pressing against my mouth so firm and soft, his tongue swirling excitedly, begging for access to mine? I wish I could have been exaggerating when I say his mouth tasted like wine…like a deep red burgundy. I couldn’t have mistaken the taste, for I’d drank the stuff so much before. He was sucking on my lips, gently caressing my lips with his. The kiss must have lasted for three minutes before I remembered where I was and just what was happening.
I grabbed his shoulders roughly, pulling his warmth away from me and sitting him up briskly. He was breathing hard, panting…tears still streaming down his face, eyes glowing, blazing…a golden green fire burned inside his skull…and I was completely ill prepared to deal with it.
He smiled wickedly, eyes narrowing as he turned his head at an angle. “You don’t like the kissing…well then…let’s just get to the main course.” I opened my mouth to protest, to push him back even further, but no words came, and my hands fell limp at my sides… He grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me towards him, moving his hands down to the buttons of my jacket. He was mad, frantic…almost ripping my overcoat off of my, obviously trying to hold back the sobs as he threw it across the room. I was falling, losing myself…not even thinking.
“Come on. How do you like it? Are you a top or a bottom? I’ll do anything to you that you want me to…but, you’ve got to talk to me and get that stupid look off your face! Bam Bam…”
His words stung…how cold and empty he seemed then. I wanted to scream at him for a very long moment. My words finally broke out all over the room.
“Ville! Jesus Christ in hell! You don’t have to do this with me! I…I’m sorry…so…oh god! How can you do this while you’re balling your eyes out? I don’t want you like this…I mean…I can’t pretend I’m not attracted to you…but this is horrible, like this!”
He was looking down, almost shaking, trembling, the tears flooding and running all down his cheeks and onto the bed. He shivered up and down…sobbing. I’d made him cry even more. Jesus, sometimes I wanted to shoot myself. He backed away from me, swiftly, like a hunted animal. He’d run through the dark of his room to the doorway, collapsing against the wood and slipping into the floor, a heap of arms, legs, and hair making a ball of ruin in the entrance.
I walked toward him, unsure, feeling guilty. I went to kneel beside him, moving my hand out to touch his hair… “I shouldn’t have raised my voice. Just come here…”
He jumped out of his skin when I peeled him from the floor, taking him into my arms and carrying him to the bed. “You must think I’m a stupid, impulsive, foolish…immature child now.” He whined more…shaking violently as I lay him on the bed, tucking him into the covers.
“No, Ville. You break my heart…I…I refuse to take advantage of you like that.” I moved around the end of the bed, moving in beside him to hold him. “Try to go to sleep, I’ll be here. And, I’ll never…ever…just take what I want.”
He scowled, lowering his voice to a growl, “Yeah, well I won’t hold you to that. You’re a liar.”
Despite his sardonic comment, he was asleep within fifteen minutes, and I left alone to think about him. I’d drifted in and out of consciousness, once or twice…but mostly I’d just lie there beside Ville, fully awake and painfully aware of how much pain he was in.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I looked to him now, so peaceful in his sleep, as if nothing ever troubled him. He even smiled a tiny smile. He turned to face me in his sleep, arms moving forward to let fingers curl around my shoulders and neck. I was trapped in this feeling. I couldn’t escape it for all the morals and politeness in the world; it didn’t matter anymore that he was seventeen and I was a vampire. All I could think about was making love to him and softening his cold anger and tears. He was like an angel to me that had fallen from heaven. I didn’t care what had happened to him, what he’d done. To me, he was the most innocent, tender creature walking, and I had no desire other than to love him.
So...ummm...I'm really tired now. And comments are cuddled and cherished even if they're evil! *Pleas and gets down on knees for comments* I'll give cookies! No I'm sorry. Rule #39, "No bribing the audience". *bows to take her leave*