The Endless: Chapter 11C
There! I've finally finished chapter 11! Oh, and I think I fixed that link to chapter 3 that wasn't working. If it's still messed up, just try my journal, I have all the chapters posted there as well. Hope you enjoy this, loves. I'm not too sure about, myself, though.
Title: The Endless (I now hate this title, but have decided to stick with it)
Genre: fantasy/horror/drama/smut/comedy/randomness
Rating: G to R to NC-17…for blood/violence/explicit sex (later, sorry)/angst/pain/and anything else I can think of
Summary: Bam is a vampire and Ville is out to slay him.
POV: Alternating between first person Bam and first person Ville
Pairing: VAM, eventually, with lots of implications of other pairings.
Author’s Note: Every song I list on here is something that influenced me in some way while writing the chapter. Either the song goes with the mood or events in the chapter, or I obsessively listened to the music on repeat while writing. Or, I borrowed lyrics.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bam (or friends), Ville, Lauri, or the members of HIM. I have never been to Philadelphia, and one of my best friends invented Kamilah. Jaied, other random characters, and the events of the story, however, are my creation and I OWN them. ;)
Prologue: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/520.html#cutid1
Chapter 1 and 2: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/815.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1189.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1339.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1708.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1367385.html
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1379765.html
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1417375.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1432811.html
Chapter 10: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1468207.html
Chapter 11A: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1520329.html#cutid1
Chapter 11B: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1521784.html#cutid1
Chapter 11C:
I must have drifted back into sleep, because the next thing I knew I was lying in a cold bed and there was no Ville in my arms. It was still very dark, and after I lie there on my back for a while. I looked over to the desk beside the bed. A digital clock there stared at me with red eyes- 3:47 a.m. I sat up, wondering where my bed partner had gone.
It wasn’t that hard to find him. He sat at the side of the bed in the floor. Facing away from me and looking to a small plug-in heater facing him; he was practically huddled next to it, so close I wondered how he wasn’t burning himself. His long-sleeved white shirt was so long it came up over his knees and covered his hands…it was more like a gown than it was a shirt.
I got up slowly, moving to sit beside him on the floor. He started when I ruffled the comforter, fully jumping when I moved next to him.
“Hey, can I join you?” I looked over at him, and his gaze quickly faltered, he looked away, facing forward. He was nearly huddled into a ball, sitting with his arms crossed over crossed legs. I wanted to pull that frozen ball of beauty into my arms and feel it melt into me. I wanted to touch him, to hold him, but he stared ahead impassively, saying nothing. Except for him jumping when I’d only moved I couldn’t tell he’d heard me at all. The room was utter silence, and I was sinking in it, almost expecting him to tell me to leave, as I wanted so badly to stay.
“Trouble sleeping?” I had to say something; I was afraid maybe I’d lost him.
He turned his head and looked up at me, the beauty of his face again making me hold in a gasp. “I woke up…and couldn’t get back to dreamland. So, I sat here…”
I couldn’t help but smile, the way he spoke making me imagine a lost child. “Yeah, I thought I couldn’t go to sleep, but then I woke up later…and I must have fallen asleep.”
His eyes bore into me, “When I woke up, you were holding me.”
I wasn’t really sure what he’d been getting at…the way he was looking at me I thought maybe it was making him angry. “I’m sorry about that, if it made you uncomfortable. I really…”
“No, don’t apologize. I just can’t believe you would do something like that after the way I’ve been. Even if it was in your sleep.”
“Ville?”
“I…I’m sorry about what I did earlier.” He flinched, jaw clinching slightly. I realized I’d been staring at him. I looked away; frightened I’d made him more nervous.
“It…I was totally fucked up.” At this his eyes turned to me, though his face remained in place. I raised my eyes to his, opening my mouth before thinking, “Would you have really had sex with me then, Ville?”
He glared at me, mouth opening and then closing quickly. He turned his head away from me….You dumbass, Bam.
“God…I didn’t mean it that way. Look, I just wish you could explain to me ‘why’! I don’t understand anything that’s been happening with you. Why…did you do that earlier? Did you really expect me to go along with it?”
“Well, why shouldn’t I, when that’s all I’ve ever been expected to do...Oh, god! Bam, I don’t know why you even care! I’ve only seen you four times in my entire life and now you’re sitting here asking me to explain to you…why my life’s so fucked up? Why I’m so fucked?!”
“I never said you had to tell me anything, but is it so ridiculous that I want to know? That I want to know who you are, why you act this way…why I can’t seem to stay away from you?” My voice had been climbing notch by notch and I had to contain myself before I began yelling at him. I was looking at him fully now, and he returned the gaze…Why have those eyes been in my dreams every night for the past six weeks?
He looked down, eyes glinting at me once more before he stood up and walked past me. I spun my head around to see him…he limped just enough for someone to notice. He had his arms wrapped around his chest as he moved away from me.
“I wouldn’t recommend you know a goddamn thing about me. I’m not healthy for you.” He went around to the opposite side of the bed and sat on its edge.
I jumped up, ready to run over to the boy hunched over with his head in his hands, angry, shaking, looking like he was ready to cry again. I walked toward him, and stood hovering beside him, not sure if he would signal an invitation or a refusal. He did neither. He just sat there.
“Ville…why are you not healthy for me? How can that be? I was sure it was the other way around.”
His eyes shot at me, emerald fires burning inside them. “No, don’t talk like that! You’ve saved my life twice in the past week, and you might be the best thing that’s ever come along in my life…so don’t even pretend you’re not good for me. I’m the one who’s screwed, and you should walk away now, before it’s too late for you. If I were you, I would leave this city…before, before anything happened to you.”
I sat down next to him, shock probably written all over my face. “What? What do you mean, ‘before anything happens to me’?” He scooted away from me, recoiling as if the question had hurt him. His hands folded in his lap, and he glared like a cornered animal, some of his dark hair falling to cover an eye. He held his breath, as if he was trying to decide whether or not to do something…then he said one of the most shocking things.
“Bam…I have to kill you, by March. If I don’t, my ‘boss’, so to speak, will be very angry, and he’ll kill you anyway. I don’t want to do it for the world…I can’t. I tried while you were asleep; the first time we shared a bed…and earlier tonight. I don’t have it in me, after all you’ve done for me. So, get the hell out of here and save yourself before it’s too late.”
Well, still like it? Question: Should I make Bam tell us more about his emotions when he's the narrator? I keep on thinking he sounds too stoic, but then I don't think he would be the sort to rant about how he feels really...so...opinions?
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Title: The Endless (I now hate this title, but have decided to stick with it)
Genre: fantasy/horror/drama/smut/comedy/randomness
Rating: G to R to NC-17…for blood/violence/explicit sex (later, sorry)/angst/pain/and anything else I can think of
Summary: Bam is a vampire and Ville is out to slay him.
POV: Alternating between first person Bam and first person Ville
Pairing: VAM, eventually, with lots of implications of other pairings.
Author’s Note: Every song I list on here is something that influenced me in some way while writing the chapter. Either the song goes with the mood or events in the chapter, or I obsessively listened to the music on repeat while writing. Or, I borrowed lyrics.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bam (or friends), Ville, Lauri, or the members of HIM. I have never been to Philadelphia, and one of my best friends invented Kamilah. Jaied, other random characters, and the events of the story, however, are my creation and I OWN them. ;)
Prologue: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/520.html#cutid1
Chapter 1 and 2: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/815.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1189.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1339.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://swampwitch9666.livejournal.com/1708.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1367385.html
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1379765.html
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1417375.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1432811.html
Chapter 10: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1468207.html
Chapter 11A: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1520329.html#cutid1
Chapter 11B: http://community.livejournal.com/__vam/1521784.html#cutid1
Chapter 11C:
I must have drifted back into sleep, because the next thing I knew I was lying in a cold bed and there was no Ville in my arms. It was still very dark, and after I lie there on my back for a while. I looked over to the desk beside the bed. A digital clock there stared at me with red eyes- 3:47 a.m. I sat up, wondering where my bed partner had gone.
It wasn’t that hard to find him. He sat at the side of the bed in the floor. Facing away from me and looking to a small plug-in heater facing him; he was practically huddled next to it, so close I wondered how he wasn’t burning himself. His long-sleeved white shirt was so long it came up over his knees and covered his hands…it was more like a gown than it was a shirt.
I got up slowly, moving to sit beside him on the floor. He started when I ruffled the comforter, fully jumping when I moved next to him.
“Hey, can I join you?” I looked over at him, and his gaze quickly faltered, he looked away, facing forward. He was nearly huddled into a ball, sitting with his arms crossed over crossed legs. I wanted to pull that frozen ball of beauty into my arms and feel it melt into me. I wanted to touch him, to hold him, but he stared ahead impassively, saying nothing. Except for him jumping when I’d only moved I couldn’t tell he’d heard me at all. The room was utter silence, and I was sinking in it, almost expecting him to tell me to leave, as I wanted so badly to stay.
“Trouble sleeping?” I had to say something; I was afraid maybe I’d lost him.
He turned his head and looked up at me, the beauty of his face again making me hold in a gasp. “I woke up…and couldn’t get back to dreamland. So, I sat here…”
I couldn’t help but smile, the way he spoke making me imagine a lost child. “Yeah, I thought I couldn’t go to sleep, but then I woke up later…and I must have fallen asleep.”
His eyes bore into me, “When I woke up, you were holding me.”
I wasn’t really sure what he’d been getting at…the way he was looking at me I thought maybe it was making him angry. “I’m sorry about that, if it made you uncomfortable. I really…”
“No, don’t apologize. I just can’t believe you would do something like that after the way I’ve been. Even if it was in your sleep.”
“Ville?”
“I…I’m sorry about what I did earlier.” He flinched, jaw clinching slightly. I realized I’d been staring at him. I looked away; frightened I’d made him more nervous.
“It…I was totally fucked up.” At this his eyes turned to me, though his face remained in place. I raised my eyes to his, opening my mouth before thinking, “Would you have really had sex with me then, Ville?”
He glared at me, mouth opening and then closing quickly. He turned his head away from me….You dumbass, Bam.
“God…I didn’t mean it that way. Look, I just wish you could explain to me ‘why’! I don’t understand anything that’s been happening with you. Why…did you do that earlier? Did you really expect me to go along with it?”
“Well, why shouldn’t I, when that’s all I’ve ever been expected to do...Oh, god! Bam, I don’t know why you even care! I’ve only seen you four times in my entire life and now you’re sitting here asking me to explain to you…why my life’s so fucked up? Why I’m so fucked?!”
“I never said you had to tell me anything, but is it so ridiculous that I want to know? That I want to know who you are, why you act this way…why I can’t seem to stay away from you?” My voice had been climbing notch by notch and I had to contain myself before I began yelling at him. I was looking at him fully now, and he returned the gaze…Why have those eyes been in my dreams every night for the past six weeks?
He looked down, eyes glinting at me once more before he stood up and walked past me. I spun my head around to see him…he limped just enough for someone to notice. He had his arms wrapped around his chest as he moved away from me.
“I wouldn’t recommend you know a goddamn thing about me. I’m not healthy for you.” He went around to the opposite side of the bed and sat on its edge.
I jumped up, ready to run over to the boy hunched over with his head in his hands, angry, shaking, looking like he was ready to cry again. I walked toward him, and stood hovering beside him, not sure if he would signal an invitation or a refusal. He did neither. He just sat there.
“Ville…why are you not healthy for me? How can that be? I was sure it was the other way around.”
His eyes shot at me, emerald fires burning inside them. “No, don’t talk like that! You’ve saved my life twice in the past week, and you might be the best thing that’s ever come along in my life…so don’t even pretend you’re not good for me. I’m the one who’s screwed, and you should walk away now, before it’s too late for you. If I were you, I would leave this city…before, before anything happened to you.”
I sat down next to him, shock probably written all over my face. “What? What do you mean, ‘before anything happens to me’?” He scooted away from me, recoiling as if the question had hurt him. His hands folded in his lap, and he glared like a cornered animal, some of his dark hair falling to cover an eye. He held his breath, as if he was trying to decide whether or not to do something…then he said one of the most shocking things.
“Bam…I have to kill you, by March. If I don’t, my ‘boss’, so to speak, will be very angry, and he’ll kill you anyway. I don’t want to do it for the world…I can’t. I tried while you were asleep; the first time we shared a bed…and earlier tonight. I don’t have it in me, after all you’ve done for me. So, get the hell out of here and save yourself before it’s too late.”
Well, still like it? Question: Should I make Bam tell us more about his emotions when he's the narrator? I keep on thinking he sounds too stoic, but then I don't think he would be the sort to rant about how he feels really...so...opinions?
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