そう連絡が取れなったのはもう５週間目になりました。さすがにウェブ上にも「自然消滅の兆候があります」って書かれます。昨日も友達に相談してやはり自分周りの男たちがみんなやばすぎて、なんたか僕はそういう相手が引き連れる素質ありそうｗ

悲しすぎるだ

もし本当の気持ちを相手にぶつかったら、紛れもなく縁を切る終盤になります。それは怖い。まだ心の準備出来てないから、ちょっと間をとって待ってます。でも最初の絶望感や苦しい気持ちも日に日にさめていって今はもうそんなに強く思ってません。やはり時間は心の病に一番の癒す薬だ。

でもそういう形で縁を切るなんて本当に悲しかった。

my program is coming to an end. or as it is, the end is near as i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. successfully passing my defense 2 weeks back, i am now tasked with a major revision before the deposit in the next 2 weeks. i know i can do this. i also fully realize how much he means to me as he was the person i wanted to share my ( Read more... )

finally met him in person and it confirmed my thoughts.

so long as one no longer have anything in common, no worth for him to use, there is no more friendship to talk of. a decade of acquaintance just like that.

最初は憧れた先輩につれない態度もらってのはショックだけど、今気持ちが整ってて、スッキリする方がいいと決めました。いろいろ誤解を招く行動かもしれんが、別に弁解要らざるし、会う機会もない。万が一会わざるを得ない場合だとしたら、最低限の接触して挨拶ぐらいすればいいと思う。
( Read more... )

well, i have expected this to happen. i am just a fool to have hoped that things will be different. i admit i was the one who drew myself away, refusing to meet up as i was not in the right mind. and i didn't clarify my plight so it is entirely my fault. Then again, i was ready to lose this friend since he had repeatedly taken me for granted and so ( Read more... )

i do not often talk bad about my colleagues, as i always see them with a higher than minimum level of respect, especially so since they are definitely way smarter than i am and more capable than me in many ways. however, sometimes, i guess it is this build-up of jealously and pent-up unsatisfaction within that resulted in me expressing this rant... ( Read more... )

this is life.

this is just my life.

i have no choice but to come to terms with it.

everyone only cares about themselves. and that is expected. that is normal. to expect anything more is unusual. and i admit that i have always been expecting the impossible. i know i am asking too much but is it wrong of me to desire something of the unexpected, to ( Read more... )

it's been three years since i returned home. and nothing has changed. yup, in fact, i would say things might have just become worse.

there is a reason why i never bring friends back home. there is a reason why i absolutely hated pple who assumed that i come from a privileged background. i hated when pple just simply assumed my upbringing, my ( Read more... )

i had enough of people claiming to want to be friends but have absolutely no intention of advancing any further than just someone whom one has sex with.
i can make do with just sex…but i just feel unacceptable and betrayed when i try to understand or know the other party but he does not seem to be interested to build a friendship…then why say “let’s ( Read more... )

いつのまにか「友達になろう」という表現は周りの人々が軽々しく言えるになったから、今そういわれるとどんな意味をわからなくなって来た。
just saying. had to get it off my chest.

何もかももう飽きた。っていうかもう諦めた。何もかも信じられない。

i think i had enough of all these nonsense. what is the point of putting one's trust and belief when it is simply one-sided and unreciprocated. a simple waste of time and effort.

to think that the notion of "friends" is so difficult to grasp and understand.

「友達」という言葉はそんなにムズイと思わなかった。友達になれる前提はお互い分かり合いでしょ？じゃ、 ( Read more... )