SIN - cowardice [8/10]
title : sin [8/10]
pairing/fandom : alo x mini
rating : m for the series, pg-13 for this part
word count : 1800
summary : Mini and Alo find themselves dealing with sin in a way they never have before.
This one is set during 6x08.
cowardice - fear in the face of danger or pain
lust
greed
envy
blame
lie
pride
revenge
cowardice
Mini watches as Alo parties with Rider all night. She lingers off in a corner, mostly by herself. She fends off the advances of a few boys who resolved themselves to take this last chance to ask her out.
After all, why not? It’s not like they’ll ever see each other again.
Mini lets each of them down far more gently than they expect. It’s not like they know what they’d get themselves entangled in if she said yes.
Not that she would anyway. Not since she admitted to herself (finally) that she’s in love with Alo. It isn’t fair to any of them to flit around with randoms at an emotionally trying time like this.
Not to mention the new ideas swirling in her head. Months ago, when these boys came up to her and practically begged for a moment of her attention, Mini would have relished in the occasion to turn them down. To laugh their intentions and their dreams off. After all, why not? They don’t matter to her. She doesn’t give a fuck how they feel.
Now Mini thinks about her own child. What if it’s a little boy? A lanky ginger boy with a kind smile and sharp baby blue eyes. What about when he fancied a girl like Mini. She could already see the pain on her baby boy’s face at being rejected in the same harsh manner Mini utilized.
Her new found maternal instincts took over now.
“I’m really flattered,” Mini says kindly, resting a hand on the unknown boy’s arm. “But I think I just want to spend the summer before uni with my mates,” she lies smoothly.
The boy shrugs and wanders back into the crowd, not even bothering with Mini after her rejection.
Mini rolls her eyes, though she was quickly getting used to being abandoned after turning these boys down. She glances around Alex’s crowded house and spares a brief thought for Liv, who ran off to god knows where.
She feels a pain of guilt when she thinks about Liv these days. It wasn’t Liv’s fault they were so distant now. She tried her hardest at reaching out to Mini in the months after Grace’s death. Mini just shut her down at every turn.
Now with this pregnancy, Mini just couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone. Not Alo, not Liv and certainly not her mother. Thankfully Franky was perceptive enough to figure it out or Mini was sure she’d be alone in this journey.
Franky’s since fucked off somewhere with Nick, probably. Hopefully. Franky was getting more and more off the rails with every passing day. At least with Nick, she was safe.
Mini takes one last look around the house. The fact of the matter is, after this, it was unlikely she was ever going to see any of them ever again. They’d run away, going to universities in exciting places like London or even her hometown of Glasgow and she’d be a single mother here in good old Briz.
She wasn’t as jealous as she thought she’d be.
She looks desperately around for anyone to walk her home. After all, it was past midnight and she was pregnant. She didn’t stand a chance. Rich wasn’t around anymore, it was Alex’s house and Rider was certainly out of the question. Liv had fucked off to god knows where, probably with a grotty random and Nick and Franky left to pretend their relationship was healthy.
That only left one option.
Alo’s talking to the girl who sits in front of him in Geography. Some random girl Mini never bothered to learn the name of but she does know this girl has had a massive crush on Alo all year. She probably worked herself up all night to be able to finally talk to him.
That simply won’t do.
“Farmboy,” Mini starts from behind him. Alo turns on his heel and looks at her like he’s seen a ghost. She can’t blame him, really. After all, she has gone to great lengths to avoid him. He’s off his head on one substance or another. Likely a combination of several, if she knows him as well as she thinks she does.
He doesn’t say anything to her, almost like he can’t. Like if he says anything, she’ll just disappear back into thin air.
Mini hunches her shoulders and rounds her back. It’s not the type of stance Alo is likely to remember her using, but she has to do anything to conceal her pregnancy. Her stomach wasn’t that big yet, still concealed by her increasingly 80s fashion choices, but she knew people would start guessing soon. Alo was clueless, but she knew he would find it odd she was putting on so much weight.
“Can you walk me home? Franky’s fucked off and I don’t want to go alone,” Mini explained awkwardly.
Alo gapes at her for a moment. She shouldn’t blame him. She hasn’t really spoken to him since that night in his barn, the night he disappointed her. What else did she have to say?
“Of course I can walk you home, Mins,” he slurs as kindly as he’s capable of. He gives the poor girl a wave and ushers Mini towards the door.
Mini’s shocked at all the people who rush over to him, ask him if he’s leaving. They beg him to stay, hug him, kiss his face and promise they’ll all hang out in the summer. They give her a nod and not much else and Mini wonders when their positions reversed.
Alo’s smile falters once they leave the house. He wrings his hands in front of him, like he’s stopping himself from touching her. Mini knows it’s for the best, but the pain of that realization still lingers. She holds her hands across her stomach, as if contact with their child could sooth the pain of losing him.
“So,” Alo starts awkwardly. Mini smiles to herself; he never has been one for awkward silences. “Are you ready for exams?”
Mini’s grin slips slightly. So it’s come to this? She had an easier time speaking to Nick after their break up!
Well, there was significantly less love there.
“Not really,” she admits. “Franky and I are cramming, though I don’t know how much studying we’ll actually do,” she adds in a tone she hopes is light.
“Yeah, I might go visit Rich in the library. Try to give a fuck about school,” Alo interjects quickly, as if to kill any silence that could possibly settle between them.
He isn’t successful and almost as quickly as the conversation started, it ended.
They walked in silence, the only noise on the dark Bristol streets was the scraping of their shoes against the concrete. Mini can tell that she’s dragging her feet far more than usual. Even the awkward silence was better than not being with him.
She glances over at Alo on the walk. He’s still fiercely trying to keep his hands occupied, fiddling with them, shoving them into his pockets, pulling them back out to play with his hair. He’s stumbling slightly, still far from sober. He doesn’t look at her, a striking change from when they’re usually together. When they were together.
They reach her house in what feels like no time at all and a feeling of disappointment settles over her.
Maybe now was the time to tell him? They were alone, after all. He was trashed, sure, but it’s still the last time she would see him for what feels like forever.
“Alo,” she begins, trying to cement herself in her decision.
“Mins,” Alo interrupts quickly. “I know it’s shit right now, yeah?” He’s jittery, clearly done in by far more than a few keg stands and spliffs. “It’s shit, everything between me and you and I don’t want it to be,” he admits. “As much as I miss, you know,” he shifts slightly and looks up at her with a small smile. “The fucking and all that, I miss you way more.”
He shrugs and down at her. Mini forgot how tall he was when she wasn’t wearing high heels. He was one of the only boys she had to crane her neck to look in his eyes.
“Just being with you,” Alo continues, pressing on no matter how awkward this conversation was. “We had jokes, yeah?” He asks, almost desperate for her to confirm their entire relationship wasn’t just in his head.
“Yeah,” Mini responds softly. She hesitates, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she can finally stutter something else out. “I... I mean, I’ll always be grateful to you for everything you’ve done for me.”
She kicks herself at her cold response. Alo’s shoulders slump slightly and disappointment is clear on his face. Mini opens her mouth and tries to think of anything to say to make him stay.
Mini knows there’s only one phrase that would work and she can’t bring herself to say it, no matter how much she means it.
“Yeah, well,” Alo shrugs defeatedly. “Ditto, I guess,” he mutters under his breath.
Mini forces a smile on her face. “Well, I better,” she starts, gesturing towards the door of her house.
“Right,” Alo says firmly. “Mates, then?” He asks cheerfully. Mini knows him better than that, though. She can see the defeated nature of his posture, the broken look in his eyes.
“Always,” she lies, not even bothering to fake a smile.
Alo hesitates for a moment before turning around, heading back towards the party. Mini wants to do anything to make him stay. Cry out his name, beg him not to leave. Tell him that she loves him back, that she only wants to be with him, that she’s having his child.
There’s something inside Mini that won’t let her do it, no matter how lonely she is or how much she misses him. She knows she’s in love with him, but she can’t tell him.
She wants to, but she can’t.
pairing/fandom : alo x mini
rating : m for the series, pg-13 for this part
word count : 1800
summary : Mini and Alo find themselves dealing with sin in a way they never have before.
This one is set during 6x08.
cowardice - fear in the face of danger or pain
lust
greed
envy
blame
lie
pride
revenge
cowardice
Mini watches as Alo parties with Rider all night. She lingers off in a corner, mostly by herself. She fends off the advances of a few boys who resolved themselves to take this last chance to ask her out.
After all, why not? It’s not like they’ll ever see each other again.
Mini lets each of them down far more gently than they expect. It’s not like they know what they’d get themselves entangled in if she said yes.
Not that she would anyway. Not since she admitted to herself (finally) that she’s in love with Alo. It isn’t fair to any of them to flit around with randoms at an emotionally trying time like this.
Not to mention the new ideas swirling in her head. Months ago, when these boys came up to her and practically begged for a moment of her attention, Mini would have relished in the occasion to turn them down. To laugh their intentions and their dreams off. After all, why not? They don’t matter to her. She doesn’t give a fuck how they feel.
Now Mini thinks about her own child. What if it’s a little boy? A lanky ginger boy with a kind smile and sharp baby blue eyes. What about when he fancied a girl like Mini. She could already see the pain on her baby boy’s face at being rejected in the same harsh manner Mini utilized.
Her new found maternal instincts took over now.
“I’m really flattered,” Mini says kindly, resting a hand on the unknown boy’s arm. “But I think I just want to spend the summer before uni with my mates,” she lies smoothly.
The boy shrugs and wanders back into the crowd, not even bothering with Mini after her rejection.
Mini rolls her eyes, though she was quickly getting used to being abandoned after turning these boys down. She glances around Alex’s crowded house and spares a brief thought for Liv, who ran off to god knows where.
She feels a pain of guilt when she thinks about Liv these days. It wasn’t Liv’s fault they were so distant now. She tried her hardest at reaching out to Mini in the months after Grace’s death. Mini just shut her down at every turn.
Now with this pregnancy, Mini just couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone. Not Alo, not Liv and certainly not her mother. Thankfully Franky was perceptive enough to figure it out or Mini was sure she’d be alone in this journey.
Franky’s since fucked off somewhere with Nick, probably. Hopefully. Franky was getting more and more off the rails with every passing day. At least with Nick, she was safe.
Mini takes one last look around the house. The fact of the matter is, after this, it was unlikely she was ever going to see any of them ever again. They’d run away, going to universities in exciting places like London or even her hometown of Glasgow and she’d be a single mother here in good old Briz.
She wasn’t as jealous as she thought she’d be.
She looks desperately around for anyone to walk her home. After all, it was past midnight and she was pregnant. She didn’t stand a chance. Rich wasn’t around anymore, it was Alex’s house and Rider was certainly out of the question. Liv had fucked off to god knows where, probably with a grotty random and Nick and Franky left to pretend their relationship was healthy.
That only left one option.
Alo’s talking to the girl who sits in front of him in Geography. Some random girl Mini never bothered to learn the name of but she does know this girl has had a massive crush on Alo all year. She probably worked herself up all night to be able to finally talk to him.
That simply won’t do.
“Farmboy,” Mini starts from behind him. Alo turns on his heel and looks at her like he’s seen a ghost. She can’t blame him, really. After all, she has gone to great lengths to avoid him. He’s off his head on one substance or another. Likely a combination of several, if she knows him as well as she thinks she does.
He doesn’t say anything to her, almost like he can’t. Like if he says anything, she’ll just disappear back into thin air.
Mini hunches her shoulders and rounds her back. It’s not the type of stance Alo is likely to remember her using, but she has to do anything to conceal her pregnancy. Her stomach wasn’t that big yet, still concealed by her increasingly 80s fashion choices, but she knew people would start guessing soon. Alo was clueless, but she knew he would find it odd she was putting on so much weight.
“Can you walk me home? Franky’s fucked off and I don’t want to go alone,” Mini explained awkwardly.
Alo gapes at her for a moment. She shouldn’t blame him. She hasn’t really spoken to him since that night in his barn, the night he disappointed her. What else did she have to say?
“Of course I can walk you home, Mins,” he slurs as kindly as he’s capable of. He gives the poor girl a wave and ushers Mini towards the door.
Mini’s shocked at all the people who rush over to him, ask him if he’s leaving. They beg him to stay, hug him, kiss his face and promise they’ll all hang out in the summer. They give her a nod and not much else and Mini wonders when their positions reversed.
Alo’s smile falters once they leave the house. He wrings his hands in front of him, like he’s stopping himself from touching her. Mini knows it’s for the best, but the pain of that realization still lingers. She holds her hands across her stomach, as if contact with their child could sooth the pain of losing him.
“So,” Alo starts awkwardly. Mini smiles to herself; he never has been one for awkward silences. “Are you ready for exams?”
Mini’s grin slips slightly. So it’s come to this? She had an easier time speaking to Nick after their break up!
Well, there was significantly less love there.
“Not really,” she admits. “Franky and I are cramming, though I don’t know how much studying we’ll actually do,” she adds in a tone she hopes is light.
“Yeah, I might go visit Rich in the library. Try to give a fuck about school,” Alo interjects quickly, as if to kill any silence that could possibly settle between them.
He isn’t successful and almost as quickly as the conversation started, it ended.
They walked in silence, the only noise on the dark Bristol streets was the scraping of their shoes against the concrete. Mini can tell that she’s dragging her feet far more than usual. Even the awkward silence was better than not being with him.
She glances over at Alo on the walk. He’s still fiercely trying to keep his hands occupied, fiddling with them, shoving them into his pockets, pulling them back out to play with his hair. He’s stumbling slightly, still far from sober. He doesn’t look at her, a striking change from when they’re usually together. When they were together.
They reach her house in what feels like no time at all and a feeling of disappointment settles over her.
Maybe now was the time to tell him? They were alone, after all. He was trashed, sure, but it’s still the last time she would see him for what feels like forever.
“Alo,” she begins, trying to cement herself in her decision.
“Mins,” Alo interrupts quickly. “I know it’s shit right now, yeah?” He’s jittery, clearly done in by far more than a few keg stands and spliffs. “It’s shit, everything between me and you and I don’t want it to be,” he admits. “As much as I miss, you know,” he shifts slightly and looks up at her with a small smile. “The fucking and all that, I miss you way more.”
He shrugs and down at her. Mini forgot how tall he was when she wasn’t wearing high heels. He was one of the only boys she had to crane her neck to look in his eyes.
“Just being with you,” Alo continues, pressing on no matter how awkward this conversation was. “We had jokes, yeah?” He asks, almost desperate for her to confirm their entire relationship wasn’t just in his head.
“Yeah,” Mini responds softly. She hesitates, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she can finally stutter something else out. “I... I mean, I’ll always be grateful to you for everything you’ve done for me.”
She kicks herself at her cold response. Alo’s shoulders slump slightly and disappointment is clear on his face. Mini opens her mouth and tries to think of anything to say to make him stay.
Mini knows there’s only one phrase that would work and she can’t bring herself to say it, no matter how much she means it.
“Yeah, well,” Alo shrugs defeatedly. “Ditto, I guess,” he mutters under his breath.
Mini forces a smile on her face. “Well, I better,” she starts, gesturing towards the door of her house.
“Right,” Alo says firmly. “Mates, then?” He asks cheerfully. Mini knows him better than that, though. She can see the defeated nature of his posture, the broken look in his eyes.
“Always,” she lies, not even bothering to fake a smile.
Alo hesitates for a moment before turning around, heading back towards the party. Mini wants to do anything to make him stay. Cry out his name, beg him not to leave. Tell him that she loves him back, that she only wants to be with him, that she’s having his child.
There’s something inside Mini that won’t let her do it, no matter how lonely she is or how much she misses him. She knows she’s in love with him, but she can’t tell him.
She wants to, but she can’t.