I really do not know what is going to happen. I am trying to grasp on to the future. In the last two days I really can attatch my myself to two pretty strong resentments...and My mind tells me that this is a defining time. A very defining time because well. I can not plan anything. I really need help. - Okay, I can see what is going on now. I am ( Read more... )

I am in pain again. I am suffering again. I am LONELY!! I have only to be accountable for myself. I need only act responsibly toward myself.ACK! This is scary again. I know. Just stop. Just go to bed. It is a good thing that I decided to go to the OA website. I bet I have written after binges before. I just feel so very yucky. Really I do. I hate ( Read more... )

Yum. I had a wonderful fruit smoothie. I have rarely made smoothies like this. All it was is mango, half a papaya, and almond milk. Also some green powder. Wow, that thought. I am reading a book. This is an nteresting morning. I guess I won't be writing much this morning. I see myself on a bike going down chuckanut. I am ready for it all. On top of ( Read more... )

Okay. There is so much happening in my brain right now. Meaning all the time. Meaning that there has been a steady flow of bizarre feelings. No one can get to me again. I believe that this happens often though. I do believe so. One thing. If I can help it, I would rather not eat alone. I want to share a mealtime with someone. it supplements the ( Read more... )

I really really really feel like I want to cry. I am out of maple syrup. Waa. I end the lemon fast now. I juice oranges tommorow. it will be good. But no one knows!! "No one knows" is how I am feeling. It's like. ugh. all that work for nothing. What a little ingrate. Okay poetry night waws gud. There was a feature there who was amazing. Really. ( Read more... )

That's how long it's been since I last wrote here. it makes sence. that would've been last thursday. I did something or other those other days that did not include looking on this place and writing about things. I am listening to The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle. I like it. I like it because it is when I am too tired to read I can listen to it and ( Read more... )

Okay well, I like writing here. I like it because no one talks to me here. Some reason I like that it is on the internet here. I feel like there is a great change happening. Sometimes I forget what is there all along. it is as if I need something fresh to remind me how beautiful life is ( Read more... )

I will be gone hopefully the first week of March. I will not kill myself. That is not how I will be gone. I hope to be in Maine. I have been thinking about trading your shackles for mine. First we have to take them off each other. Maybe by then we wont want them back on at all. Someone will not be getting a fair deal somehow. The person must have ( Read more... )

I am a classy lady ( Read more... )