Hmph
I really really really feel like I want to cry. I am out of maple syrup. Waa. I end the lemon fast now. I juice oranges tommorow. it will be good. But no one knows!! "No one knows" is how I am feeling. It's like. ugh. all that work for nothing. What a little ingrate. Okay poetry night waws gud. There was a feature there who was amazing. Really. Wonderful.
I wrote in my journal...Oh. I was a front row person. he said thanks to me for being a front row person and being responsive. Cool....I wrote in my journal beofrehand while they where setting up. Okay, cool. It's all good and then some very very energetic woman sitts in the chair next to me and sheds her energy all over the place. I mean she isn't talking to me. She is talking to the person on her left. Just....the thought...and know, oh and knowing, that the words that flow out of that thoughtful pen are just that. Thoughts really.
I hardly see the keys anymore. The keys on the keyboard. i have come to take them for granted. i look at them now. I feel my hands and fingers roaming around the keyboard. Where else do my fingers move this way. Cooking probably. Had a slightly disturbing conversation with em today. Went for a walk with Henry and Penny instead of watching Henry play video game. We jumped on a mattress and sang loudly ten little monkeys.
Popped over unexpectedly. maybe. Well, un-announced. Fit into my snug coat. Mmmm. Black one that makes me feel elegant and special. Used to smell a lot like cig smoke but not anymore. Funny story....NOPE. not really. Ack. Please don't let me be replaying events of the past. I wil not overeat. I am smarter than this. What the fuck is my problem. All I want is to feel good in my body and I get a fucking leture. God damn it serves.....well, I will justify? and forgive her and it for being her own bloody cautions and self esteem junk. Notice I refrained from those expletives.
Women's meeting. Excellent. Lonelye Hearts? Is that ..No. Grateful Hearts. That is what they are called. So nice. cake was passed around. i looked at everyone's shoes. Or at least the shoes of those whose eyes I could not remember. God, a lady there attracts me as a sponsor. I mean, yeah. The thought just came up.
Em does not understand. I said to her the phrase once. "You can never get enough of what you don't really want" Gawdddddd...!!!!!!! It makes perfect sense to me. It really does. Shit. I had an insecure thought. A boy played the guitar tonight He was really hunched over. It was a sad story. I thought it had to be him. he had a paper on his knee with the lyrics. He looked like he needed them. At one point they fell off. I thought, should I or shouldn't I? I picked it up for him and put it on his knee really fast. It felt fast. But then I felt awkwardness. Ugh. He had to go right after Sean. The Feature. It was his first time. Those are the facts.
Okay, well. I don't really want to stay up all night. But I could just stay here putzing around. Room organization and sponsor calling in order. Not to mention something that I may have forgotten but thankfully I wrote ....yep. I remember now. Carrots. Last day I believe to get 5lb bag of carrots on sale.
Love and happiness. Good golly miss molly, are you really signing off? Yes, indeedy. Hmm.
Haha. Caught you. You almost didn't.
Oh yeah well this time it is for real.
Okay. Don't forget the tags.
Yeah, okay.
I wrote in my journal...Oh. I was a front row person. he said thanks to me for being a front row person and being responsive. Cool....I wrote in my journal beofrehand while they where setting up. Okay, cool. It's all good and then some very very energetic woman sitts in the chair next to me and sheds her energy all over the place. I mean she isn't talking to me. She is talking to the person on her left. Just....the thought...and know, oh and knowing, that the words that flow out of that thoughtful pen are just that. Thoughts really.
I hardly see the keys anymore. The keys on the keyboard. i have come to take them for granted. i look at them now. I feel my hands and fingers roaming around the keyboard. Where else do my fingers move this way. Cooking probably. Had a slightly disturbing conversation with em today. Went for a walk with Henry and Penny instead of watching Henry play video game. We jumped on a mattress and sang loudly ten little monkeys.
Popped over unexpectedly. maybe. Well, un-announced. Fit into my snug coat. Mmmm. Black one that makes me feel elegant and special. Used to smell a lot like cig smoke but not anymore. Funny story....NOPE. not really. Ack. Please don't let me be replaying events of the past. I wil not overeat. I am smarter than this. What the fuck is my problem. All I want is to feel good in my body and I get a fucking leture. God damn it serves.....well, I will justify? and forgive her and it for being her own bloody cautions and self esteem junk. Notice I refrained from those expletives.
Women's meeting. Excellent. Lonelye Hearts? Is that ..No. Grateful Hearts. That is what they are called. So nice. cake was passed around. i looked at everyone's shoes. Or at least the shoes of those whose eyes I could not remember. God, a lady there attracts me as a sponsor. I mean, yeah. The thought just came up.
Em does not understand. I said to her the phrase once. "You can never get enough of what you don't really want" Gawdddddd...!!!!!!! It makes perfect sense to me. It really does. Shit. I had an insecure thought. A boy played the guitar tonight He was really hunched over. It was a sad story. I thought it had to be him. he had a paper on his knee with the lyrics. He looked like he needed them. At one point they fell off. I thought, should I or shouldn't I? I picked it up for him and put it on his knee really fast. It felt fast. But then I felt awkwardness. Ugh. He had to go right after Sean. The Feature. It was his first time. Those are the facts.
Okay, well. I don't really want to stay up all night. But I could just stay here putzing around. Room organization and sponsor calling in order. Not to mention something that I may have forgotten but thankfully I wrote ....yep. I remember now. Carrots. Last day I believe to get 5lb bag of carrots on sale.
Love and happiness. Good golly miss molly, are you really signing off? Yes, indeedy. Hmm.
Haha. Caught you. You almost didn't.
Oh yeah well this time it is for real.
Okay. Don't forget the tags.
Yeah, okay.