So the week that shall decide my fate has arrived and I feel worse than I have ever felt before. The pain inside keeps growing and on top of it all I don't want to go back to my apartment and I don't want to go anywhere else. Everywhere I go I feel like I don't belong or don't want to be there. It is so hard because I can't escape. I am stuck and ( Read more... )

ATTIC - In Your Eyes ( Read more... )

I feel like I am being suffocated by this school and this major that I never wanted. Yes I'm tired of spending my parents money and I think it's time that I take control of my life and my finances and jump out of the nest. Take some time off to work on me before I work on everything else. I want more than the simple I need the complex and I doubt I ( Read more... )

In San Antonio right now with a whole bunch of women. Extremely interesting. So much estrogen I think I'm growing breasts or maybe that's cause of all the food I've eaten. About to eat mexican for the 2nd time on this trip and we are having it again tomorrow because the preacher is taking us out. It is ok right now. I can sense alot of tension ( Read more... )

I think I have a genuine fear of the update. Maybe my life isn't interesting for all you bitches. Maybe it's not what I hope it is. I'm having some real identity issues and they are causing me alot of pain and grief. However, I met a new boy. He's from Great Britain and he's amazing, just amazing. No words. He makes me happy so a bit of my pain is ( Read more... )

to the ones waiting for the next move, I think I'm out.

-Cali

It's 3:32 pm. Do you know where your homework is ( Read more... )

So bad decisions abound. Why do I do these things? I can't escape them and I can't wake up, sorry to APO and Rickman House. Don't know why I sleep so soundly, is that my fault and should I be blamed for oversleeping? I think I need to record my sleeping habits because I guess I talk in my sleep. I could be saying something important. God I feel ( Read more... )

Not what I thought it'd be. Let's hope what is to come is better. To drink or not to drink? I am an alcoholic, maybe not a good idea. Go Broncos! Time to start living. Night all.

-Cali

It just won't stop. I can't escape it. Every day it lies within me trying to get out and then it does and I'm a mess. Incapable of anything and unable to express that which I need to express. Nights like this I understand why people cut. But I could never. Am I a pussy or just smart and logical? Not in most senses except when it comes to pain, how ( Read more... )