My face is numb!

[queery]

So bad decisions abound. Why do I do these things? I can't escape them and I can't wake up, sorry to APO and Rickman House. Don't know why I sleep so soundly, is that my fault and should I be blamed for oversleeping? I think I need to record my sleeping habits because I guess I talk in my sleep. I could be saying something important. God I feel bogged down, like I'm covered in boa constrictors. Being eaten away by the pain in my stomach again. Don't know what that is. I cry but nothing. I talk but nothing. I write and nothing. Should I leave and find the answer? Perhaps that is what I must do in order to figure it out. Most likely it has something to do with happiness. Was talking with someone the other day and we were wondering why in the fuck we were here instead of the places we wanted to be. Let's take off and go, find ourselves and our homes and live. Maybe I need to live, I thought about that last night, then I think I did, and now I'm considering that that might not be it. Why do things have to get so fucked up when you think you have order? No matter how much I schedule I can't keep it. I get depressed or bored and can't escape it long enough to fix anything. I...have no fucking clue. APO at 5:30, procrastination or homework now. Maybe a bath and some thinking.

-Cali