Frustration
It's 3:32 pm. Do you know where your homework is?
I just realized I had a dream about getting this cd of the artist I'm listening to. I need to start writing those down. Semester is almost over and I have nothing done, but that's because I don't care, I really don't. I've been working so hard to figure myself out and myself is better off without school, I know I am. Not sure what I will do outside of it but I have to do something or I'm going to drown in my depression. I'm actually happy that it hasn't really popped up this weekend. Usually by today I'm pulling my hair out and threatening to swallow a bottle of adderral so I can get work done. I'm not concerned though. Only one thing is really frustrating me right now and that should be taken care of soon enough. I started drinking again, which is a very interesting thing because I think I may be an alcoholic but my friend's say no. But when it gets to a point that you are throwing up because of it and then the next night doing the same thing without thinking about it. I've also kinda started smoking again. I really need some vices outside of procrastination and porn. I just realized about 100 gig of my computer is porn, this is really bad, and it's not like I watch it all it is mostly the fact of having it, of collecting it. Bad habit, don't get involved with it. Feeling like writing right now which is something I really haven't done since I got back from Prague. I knew Prague would be a life changing experience and it totally was. It let me see what was out there and understand I am not alone in this Republican country. To Ex-patriots and moving to foreign countries. I have a bottle of gin, that's John's, in the freezer. Maybe I'll make a drink, but i have 1-2 books to read, maybe. I'm gonna let go right now. To getting it all done and not losing our minds.
-Cali
I just realized I had a dream about getting this cd of the artist I'm listening to. I need to start writing those down. Semester is almost over and I have nothing done, but that's because I don't care, I really don't. I've been working so hard to figure myself out and myself is better off without school, I know I am. Not sure what I will do outside of it but I have to do something or I'm going to drown in my depression. I'm actually happy that it hasn't really popped up this weekend. Usually by today I'm pulling my hair out and threatening to swallow a bottle of adderral so I can get work done. I'm not concerned though. Only one thing is really frustrating me right now and that should be taken care of soon enough. I started drinking again, which is a very interesting thing because I think I may be an alcoholic but my friend's say no. But when it gets to a point that you are throwing up because of it and then the next night doing the same thing without thinking about it. I've also kinda started smoking again. I really need some vices outside of procrastination and porn. I just realized about 100 gig of my computer is porn, this is really bad, and it's not like I watch it all it is mostly the fact of having it, of collecting it. Bad habit, don't get involved with it. Feeling like writing right now which is something I really haven't done since I got back from Prague. I knew Prague would be a life changing experience and it totally was. It let me see what was out there and understand I am not alone in this Republican country. To Ex-patriots and moving to foreign countries. I have a bottle of gin, that's John's, in the freezer. Maybe I'll make a drink, but i have 1-2 books to read, maybe. I'm gonna let go right now. To getting it all done and not losing our minds.
-Cali