So another year has come and gone without Tango. This anniversary passed a little differently than the last one. Last one I sat outside and cried. This time, I went outside and rescued a giant turtle trying to navigate across the subdivision. My parents went with me over to the lake, and we set him down on the shore and watched him take off. I took ( Read more... )

So we managed to get all 45 Hookers together for a Hooker surprise party for my grandmother's 90th birthday. It's no small feat, let me tell you. But it was so, so so nice having all the family together again. We rarely get to do it, and it really sucks. We all posed for pictures so grandma could have family pictures. Check out the outtakes, they ( Read more... )

I'm really sad that it took losing Tango to start journaling again. God. Everytime I write that, I cry. It's funny. I'll have long periods of time where I'll feel like I'm perfectly fine, and then something small and insignificant will happen and I'll lose it and start. crying all over again. I still have his bed on the floor. I refuse to move it. ( Read more... )

Boo Bear ( Read more... )

I broke down Wednesday night. My usual audition anxiety seems to have undone everything I'd done to move forward. That night, I felt hollow. It felt as though my heart had been cleaned out like a pumpkin on Halloween. And it hurt. It hurt so badly. My fingers were itching to go outside and uncover him, because I was having such a hard time ( Read more... )

Thanks, everyone, for your words and support. You have no idea how much I appreciate it ( Read more... )

Tango is ok! It wasn't his kidney's after all! Turns out, he had a bladder infection. When the blood work came back, it showed that his kidney values were a little bit better than what they were back in January, rather than them being worse. Oh, God, I can't tell you how relieved and how thankful I am for this. There are no words to desribe my ( Read more... )

Tango is sick. Bloody stool, vomiting, not acting like himself. I'm terrified. He turned 16 in August. He's old. His kidneys started failing last year. It's not hard for me to put pieces of this puzzle together. He's been slowly losing weight. He started at 6.6 pounds. Last check up, he was at 5.4 pounds. Today he was at 4.75. I am freaking out, ( Read more... )

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