It's been one month since I've last spoken to you, teased you, played a hidden picture game while watching stupid reality TV with you. One month since I've seen you burn things, passed by you in the living room and rested my chin on your head or hugged you. One month since I've heard you say "Hey girl," as I walked by, or endured your teasing or ( Read more... )

As predicted, I worked by myself all day. I think it worked in my favor. I had such bad cramps that I don't think I could have dealt with anyone bothering me. Ugh. I am not a fan of this. It's like nothing below my shoulders does not hurt. Not. cool. I was going to go see Rifftrax Live tonight but I just can't take it ( Read more... )

I'm not sure why I bother writing here anymore. I don't have anything exciting to say. I blather on about how this sucks or that sucks or I'm not doing anything or I miss something. I wonder if it's even worth bothering with anymore. Part of this may be my grumpiness talking. That seems to be a pretty constant state lately. Some of this is hormonal ( Read more... )

So we managed to get all 45 Hookers together for a Hooker surprise party for my grandmother's 90th birthday. It's no small feat, let me tell you. But it was so, so so nice having all the family together again. We rarely get to do it, and it really sucks. We all posed for pictures so grandma could have family pictures. Check out the outtakes, they ( Read more... )

I've been trying to wean myself off of my medicine lately. I got myself down to one pill a day, then, feeling confident, I went down to one pill every other day.

I don't think I am as ready for it as I would like to be. I hate it. I'm just so damn tired. It feels like no matter where I am, everyone is miserable anymore. And then, feeling bad that ( Read more... )

I'm really sad that it took losing Tango to start journaling again. God. Everytime I write that, I cry. It's funny. I'll have long periods of time where I'll feel like I'm perfectly fine, and then something small and insignificant will happen and I'll lose it and start. crying all over again. I still have his bed on the floor. I refuse to move it. ( Read more... )

As you can see by my previous entry, Christmas is a rather hard time of year for me. I always spend it crying and falling into a pit of melancholy.It's not that I don't enjoy it, because Christmas is seriously my most favorite time of the year, but it brings home the things that aren't right, and the people that I miss more clearly than ever ( Read more... )

Argh, it's hit me. That itchy-must-do-something-drastic-and-outrageous-or-I'll-burst feeling. Usually, I go for my hair, but I can't do that with a show coming up. I have no outlet for this and it's bringing me nearly to tears of frustration. I want to explode creatively, but I feel like I have so many ideas running through me at once that if I try ( Read more... )