Lately, I have been a total bitch to Jeff and I have no explanation for why. Things aren't exactly stressful right now as I have an impending break between new and old job that should last 2 weeks. We're doing well financially. I am well fed and somewhat exercised. I'm medicated properly for all my illnesses. I can't figure it out. I have a ( Read more... )

So, I'm starting the hunt for a location. Sure, it's one thing to say, I want to get married outdoors in a garden in July 2008--it's another thing to actually find a place (that we can afford!). I figure, I'm a crappy web searcher, so I thought I'd ask for some help. If you feel like killing time or making good suggestions, find me someplace ( Read more... )

Normally my morning is as follows ( Read more... )

It's strange to me how I have suddenly fallen back in love with J, as if the last two months of bullshit had not happened. And, how he seems to be feeling it too. I get all these long, mushy looks, that are a bit annoying, but heartfelt I'm sure. Sigh. Shit if I know what's going to happen here ( Read more... )

I can't believe I didn't notice that livejournal came in pink. I guess I'll see how long this lasts.

Just finished Ultimate Fitness The Quest for Truth about Exercise and Health by Gina Kolata, a science writer for the New York Times. It's a great book that seeks to find scientific studies and research to either prove or disprove the current ( Read more... )

I'm in a panic about money. I owe some to my credit card and won't be able to pay it back right away unless I drain my savings, but I don't want to drain my savings. I guess the panic is really about the way I have been spending money with abandon and then feeling nothing but regret for my purchases--I still feel bad about the $350 I spent on a ( Read more... )

But as a result of my getting drunk and J going to therapy, I'm pretty certain there will be no dumping forthcoming. At least for a month or two. Instead, we go see his therapist next week and then maybe couples therapy after that. I can't shake the feeling that J will probably go through a year or two of therapy, come out a changed and happy ( Read more... )

"Be patient. Give him more time to decide, and then do what you have to if he doesn't. He's caught right now between us [meaning him and my mom] and his parents, he's confused. You've come this far, what are a few more months in a lifetime? Wait a little longer. Let's see how he is in May [at my sister's graduation]. I love you babu ( Read more... )

Once again, I have given in to a man in tears. And, once again, I foolishly believed that since this man is crying over the thought of losing me, he must love me very much and wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. Of course, this time around, even I don't believe me. Last night I layed it all down, all my concerns, fears, reasons ( Read more... )

DRAMA QUEEN ENTRY-READ AT OWN RISK (If I knew how to do that LJ cut thing, I would ( Read more... )