Forever & Ever 43
Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20| Part 21| Part 22| Part 23| Part 24| Part 25| Part 26| Part 27| Part 28| Part 29| Part 30.1| Part 30.2| Part 31| Part 32.1| Part 32.2| Part 33| Part 34| Part 35| Part 36| Part 37| Part 38| Part 39| Part 40| Part 41| Part 42
“Things are picking up faster than I thought they would,” Kai said as he stared up at the ceiling of D’s apartment. The two of them were lying there in the darkness as a Jeff Buckley album that Anna had left in the radio played softly.
“You’re destined for great things,” D said.
“I hope so.”
In less than a week, he was going to board a plane back to America. In less than a week, Kai was going to see him for what was likely the last time. How was one to go about this properly Kai wondered. How is one supposed to say goodbye? How were they to make the most of what little time they had left between them? And as he thought about it, it felt almost as if he was left feeling baffled and lost but what gave him that feeling more than not knowing what to do with their final moments was the gravity of their separation and how even though it was always on their minds, the two of them didn’t make a big deal out of it. It was unavoidable but was it? Why did they both believe that when he went home that they would never see each other again?
The future is uncertain that much is for sure. Where will they be a month from now? 6 months? A year? Could they not call? Write? Find some other way around the distance? But perhaps deep inside the two of them had the feeling that there was something temporary about them from the beginning or rather that this sort of relationship was at its sweetest and most romantic as something temporal like the seasons. And neither Kai nor D wanted to ruin the innocence that existed in this almost poetic resignation by talking about it or even by fighting for it. Kai wasn’t going to give any speeches or promises like Aoi had done. He wasn’t going to rebel like Ruki. Maybe this sudden separation he thought made his feelings for D more poignant and tenderer.
It was in truth, a vain notion but it was nevertheless in the end, a comforting one.
“Did you find anyone to take the apartment?”
“My friend just recently split with his fiancé. He says he’s interested in a new environment and since it’s cheaper, he’s interested.”
“Which one is this?”
“Reita. When he’s on stage, he wears that thing on his face…”
“The bassist. Are you two close?”
Kai turned to him and smiled. He presented a pair of crossed fingers and said cutely “Rhythm Brothers” and laughed. “He’s a good guy. Everyone loves him.”
“He seems really nice. By the way, there’s about 4 months still left on the lease.”
“I’ll let him know.”
The CD ended with a click. Silence.
“Why don’t you ever let me meet your mom?” D suddenly asked.
“Why would you want to meet her?” Of course that reply was useless. And before he could say anything, Kai said “If you really want to, sure.”
“Tomorrow?”
“We have practice until 6 tomorrow. You can come by around 7 and we can have dinner. She was talking earlier anyways about how I always come over here and force you to cook for me. If she only knew that I was merely a slave forced to work in your kitchen,” he laughed. “It’s probably best though if we keep our relationship a secret not because I’m ashamed or anything it’s just…would be a lot of explaining and it’s…” He felt strange saying that it wouldn’t be worth the effort considering that in less than a week, it would be over between them.
D however spared him the awkwardness and replied “I understand.”
“What’s your life like back there anyway?” Kai asked into the deep silence.
“Normal.”
“D…always so vague!” he said with a sad laugh.
“I really don’t know how else to describe it. I usually have a part time job when I’m there. I spend a lot of time with my mother and in the summer, we sit out on the porch or I go play basketball with my cousins and some kids from the neighborhood. Nothing too exciting.”
“Sounds nice.”
“Yeah. It’s nice.”
“When you come back to Japan for the next term, make sure you try to find me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
***
The Scorpion King bored Aoi so greatly that he pulled out a spare futon within the first 5 minutes from Uruha’s closet and pushing back the coffee table, set it out and proceeded to fall asleep as his host, lounging into his sofa drank sake and laughed at The Rock’s character’s stupid jokes. When at last the rather amusing and ridiculous film ended, Uruha turning off the television, crawled onto the floor and over to Aoi where he peered over his shoulder to get a look at his face.
“Aoi, are you asleep?”
No answer.
“Aoi, are you asleep?” he repeated. Again, no answer. Lifting up a lone finger, Uruha poked at the side of Aoi’s cheek causing him to groan tiredly. Another poke. “You can sleep on the bed if you want.”
“I’m fine,” he mumbled finally in response.
“Come on, go to the bed.” Uruha was perched like a sitting cat as he watched the side of Aoi’s sleeping face in the semi-darkness of the living room.
“I’m fine.”
“I don’t want to sleep out here. I hate sleeping on the floor.”
“Go sleep in the bed then.”
Uruha pouted and sighed loudly as he peeled the soft warm blanket away from Aoi and slipped in next to him. He wrapped his arms around his warm body from behind and buried his face into the thick black silk of his hair and in a whine-like moaned nagged “I hate sleeping on the floor” causing Aoi to slap his hand unexpectedly.
“Shut up and go to sleep.”
Uruha closed his eyes but as soon as he realized that he was lying next to Aoi, he grew excited and could not for the life of him force himself to sleep. Suddenly in a spurt of joy, he pecked the back of his head. “You smell good.” Aoi grunted in reply. “You should have watched the movie. It was funny. If Ruki was here, he would have complained about the overdubs but I think it made it funnier.”
“Uruha.”
“Hm?”
“Shut up.”
“Sorry.” Another peck on the back of the head. He finished it off with a tight squeeze.
“Uruha.”
“I’m not talking.”
Aoi chuckling, groaned like a tired old man and turned around languidly to face him. “You’re cute, little Ducky man,” he said with his eyes closed as he in turn, wrapped his sleepy arms around Uruha who watched him like a exhilarated child, thrilled by Aoi’s sweet affections. In reply, Uruha butted his forehead against his like a cat. Aoi giggled.
“Hoshi-samaaaaaaaaaaaaa~” Uruha held out the last vowel as long as he could before descending into a dorky laugh.
With a tired poke to the side, Aoi asked him with his eyes still closed “What do you want?”
“Hoshi-sammmaaaaaaaaaaa,” he repeated.
“Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?”
Unexpectedly, Uruha leaned forward and kissed him deeply and passionately void of any of his previous playfulness, embracing him instead hungrily and desperately. He puffed up his full mouth erotically and dragged it’s damp softness against Aoi’s lips as he slid the tip of his tongue into the thin opening between them. Aoi laughed as he lifted up two hands and held the sides of Uruha’s face. “Easy there, cowboy.” Opening his eyes, he smirked and added “I’m trying to sleep here.”
Uruha watched him with wide eyes and a puffy mouth. “Sorry.”
“No you’re not. LIAR!” he smiled and buried his face into the little white pillow as if he were hiding it from him.
“I’m not a liar,” Uruha laughed like a child and grabbed at his sides.
“DAI! DAI! You’re hurting me!” he squirmed away from him playfully.
“No, I’m not!”
“OWWWWWWWW!”
“Stop whining!” Uruha threw himself on him and pinned him down into the makeshift bed.
After quieting down, Aoi mumbled “Beauty is evil.”
Uruha unable to contain his happiness, wrapped his arms around him and kissed his head and his neck and back in a delighted frenzy.
“EH! EH! EH!” Aoi squirmed from beneath him. “Stop!”
“No.”
“Stop!” Aoi laughed and burying his face again into his pillow let out a fake groan of pain. Throwing his leg around him, Uruha cupped his body with his limbs and cleaning Aoi’s hair away from his neck with his nose started to French kiss the skin there as if it were his mouth. Dragging his wet tongue up, he licked the back of his ear. Aoi moaned. “Okay, don’t do that.” But Uruha didn’t listen and instead, threaded the erotic organ of his tongue into the bowl of his ear and after wetting its inside with his spit, exhaled hotly and let out a high pitched moan. “Ducky Baby, please don’t that~” Aoi being nice, begged him.
“Am I turning you on?” he asked him excitedly like a school boy.
“No, you’re making me tired,” he replied sarcastically.
Quietly, Uruha considered his response for several awkward and silent moments and then realizing that it was sarcasm called him out on it. “Don’t lie,” he laughed.
“I’m not going to sleep with you after you forced me to watch the Scorpion King,” Aoi joked in a flat tone.
“We can watch the sports channel to see the football highlights,” Uruha teased knowing how much that would bore and irritate him.
“Ughhh…you make me feel so gay…” He picked up the pillow and threw it over his head.
“Do you seriously not want to have sex?”
Aoi looked out from under the pillow. “Sorry baby but football and bad action flicks don’t quite do the trick for me.”
Uruha giggled and interpreting that as a no, ran his hands underneath Aoi’s shirt and continuously giggling, pressed his chest against his back as he searched for Aoi’s nipples while he squirmed beneath him with yet another string of EH! EH! EH!s. Aroused, Uruha held his waist against Aoi allowing himself to grow harder and harder as Aoi struggled underneath him. He pinched the small nipples with his fingers and kissed his neck. He pressed his tongue against the wet and exposed skin and licked him until Aoi was forced to lift up his chin as it traveled upward. “You’re mine,” he said suddenly with an almost dominating seriousness.
“I’m yours?” Aoi said from the deep thickness of his throat and playing submissive, he bent his knees and arched his back as he pushed himself against Uruha’s erection.
“Mhm,” Uruha laughed. He bit his lip and not wasting any more time, undid the fastening on Aoi’s jeans and grabbing his underwear with them, pulled them down. He pressed his fingers into Aoi’s mouth until they wet. Quickly and excitedly, he retracted them and as he held Aoi’s waist, pressed the wet fingers into his hole. With his other hand, he pulled his own pants down awkwardly. Aoi laughed as he imagined what Uruha must look like behind him as he listened to his fumbling.
“Come on, Ducky baby~” Aoi sang as he swayed his waist side to side cutely and crudely. He rarely let Uruha take him and so Uruha a bit too enthusiastically, pushed himself into a bit too far causing Aoi to yelp in pain. “Fuck,” he cringed.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He shut his eyes and rocked himself like a wave with Uruha inside of him.
Moaning almost pathetically, Uruha threw himself down against him and met his exertions with quick and needy motions of his own. He wrapped his arms around his torso in a tight hug and resting his cheek next to Aoi’s whispered “thank you” into his ear causing Aoi to laugh hysterically.
“URUHA! You funny boy!” he giggled and began to sway his hips erotically from side to side and up and down, tightening himself periodically.
He moaned nearly frantically. “Aoi, I’m sorry but I think I might cum too soon…” he mumbled cutely like fool.
“Ooooo,” he replied in a sexy coo and giggling at Uruha’s virginlike fumbling, teased him playfully. “Baby, fuck me. Take me, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby~”
Uruha in high pitched voice, repeated how much he loved him over and over again into his ear when at last he sped up to the point where he finally came inside of him. “My love,” he whispered as he held onto him as if holding onto his life.
Before the moment could get to serious, Aoi like an amateur wrestler, quickly got up and toppled Uruha onto his back. “Didn’t see that coming, huh?” he laughed. He lifted up his legs. Still aroused he pushed himself inside of Uruha. Leaning forward, he held his hands down above his head and pecked Uruha’s cheek. “I win.”
“Win?”
“Yeah, I win.”
“Win what?”
“This. I win this.” He sat up. His dark hair fell about his face as he looked down at Uruha who peered up at him with large cat eyes that betrayed his almost innocent desire. This was like being on stage for Aoi. His love making was like a performance and his lover, the crowd. Aoi wasn’t good at many things but he was good at this and he knew it. He pulled his shirt off, revealing his damp well formed chest that in the faint light gleamed. “Do you worship me, baby?” he growled.
“Mhm,” Uruha nodded a bit too eagerly.
“Do you feel me, baby?”
“Mhm.”
“Do you want me, baby?” he rocked a little more forcibly as he ran his flat palm up Uruha’s testicles.
“Mhm.”
Throwing his head back and running his other hand down his neck and down his chest, twirled his tongue slowly around the perimeter of his lips. “Do you love me, baby?”
“I love you.”
He smiled and almost as if he were snapping out of his role as a Sex God, peered down at Uruha, charmed by his childlike honesty and his willingness. “You’re cute.”
“I love you.”
“Do you, now?” he smiled warmly. Closing in the distance between their two bodies, he rocked slowly and sweetly as he kissed Uruha’s chin.
“I love you.”
“That’s new,” he laughed.
“Tell me you love me too, Aoi. Please.”
“I don’t,” he lied but Uruha was in no mood for jokes and he quickly turned his face away from him. “Awww baby, I’m kidding. I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry. I’m not funny.”
Still looking away from, he ran his hand gingerly and almost shyly up Aoi’s back and threaded his fingers into his hair. Aoi stopped his motions and stared at his face in the dim glow.
“Of course, I love you,” he said, his voice sure, forceful and clear. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I always will. How many times do I have to tell you?”
Uruha looked at him and smiled. Ignoring almost the oppressiveness of Aoi’s seriousness, asked with his baby smile “What do you love?”
Aoi pecked him on the cheek. “Ducky Baby.”
***
“Look what I have,” Fuwa said almost as if he were talking a tiny child. Ruki flipping through a SHOXX magazine with INORAN on the cover, peered out from behind it. He was reclining on the sofa inside of Fuwa’s office where he often lounged around like a bored therapy patient. In front of Fuwa, was a big black laptop computer.
“Where did you get that?”
“Isao bought it last year. Now, how do I turn this on…” he asked aloud as he leaned forward and straining to see all the buttons with his poor eyesight, took his glasses off as if that would help. Finally finding it, he pushed it down with a bit too much drama and pleasure at his success.
Ruki laughed at him. “You don’t know how to use it?”
“I know a little bit,” he replied as he scanned the machine.
“But not how to turn it on?”
“I forgot where the button was.”
“Mhm.” Ruki didn’t believe him. He set the magazine aside and sat up. “Why are you using it? Are you going to play solitaire or Mahjong on it?” He laughed.
“Why would that be funny?” Fuwa turned and tilted his head at him.
“Are you seriously going to do that?”
“No. I’m going to use that electronic mail service to send a letter to Dazai…” he watched the screen as it booted up wondering when he should brave it and see if the elusive machine was ready to use.
“It’s called email…usually. And I said that because that’s what old people do on computers, play solitaire and Mahjong.”
“I’m going to play it just to spite you…of course, after you show me how,” he laughed at himself. With his two index fingers, he hovered over the keyboard and typed in the password with painful slowness.
“Don’t you know how to type?”
“No, not really.”
“You never learned to type?”
“I’m from the olden days you forget, Ruki back when we had to march up hills barefoot in the snow just to get to school,” he laughed.
“And you had to hunt for your food with spears.”
“Yes and you bought everything in rice. Primitive days, my young friend.”
Ruki got to his feet. “We have it so easy these days,” he giggled and walking over him, leaned over his shoulder and looked at the laptop, watching as Fuwa moved the little white arrow across the screen to the internet icon. “God, I can’t watch you. If I do, I’ll lose my mind.”
“Bet you didn’t think I had an email,” he laughed. He was having too much fun with this computer business. Ruki smiling, kissed him on the cheek. “I’m going to get me some tea. You want some, baby?”
“Sure.” He stared at the screen with the utmost concentration as he tried to make sense of what was before him with his brow furrowed and his lips pursed. Ruki left the room and in the distance he could hear him serenading the dog, changing the lyrics of a popular song to fit something that had to do with Akira and being cute. He opened up his email and before him were tons of unopened messages at a grand total of 9. It was a bit overwhelming. Some of them were from people he didn’t even know and some of them were advertisements. He looked at the names and coming upon one from Kawai that said merely in the title “Hello” clicked it. The email was blank except for a link. “Strange…” he said as he moved the mouse over to it. “Wonder what he sent me…” he mumbled as he clicked it.
Suddenly the calm screen erupted into an uncontrollable chaos. Pop ups crowded the screen most of which were pornography. Images flashed and flooded every pixel and offers to enter in some online lottery blinked in neon colors.
Ruki re-entering the room with two cups of tea in his hands stared at it in shock. “What happened?”
“Kawai sent me a link and I clicked it,” Fuwa lifted up his hands into the air as if he by chance touched the computer it would erupt like a bomb.
“You clicked on a suspicious link!”
“Kawai sent it to me.”
“His email got fished.”
“Fished?”
There was so much porn on the screen, it was almost brain numbing. “Let me see,” Ruki said as he moved over to the desk and set the tea down. He started clicking x on all the pop ups by the more he exited out of flashing images of large breasts and pixilated vaginas, the more they appeared. Ruki opted out and just pushed the off button and forced the computer to shut down.
As soon as the screen went black, Fuwa said with a sigh “I’ve just seen more lady parts than I ever wanted to see in my whole life.”
Ruki giggled. “So, you are gay for sure?”
Fuwa nodded and rubbed his eyes as if by doing so, he could erase the images from his memory. “I’m gay for sure,” he laughed. “I hope it isn’t broken.”
“Your sanity or the computer?”
“I’m 57 years old. I think I can handle a vagina in my face,” he chuckled at his own joke.
“Fuwaaaaaaa,” Ruki giggled cutely and delighted. “Stop being funny.” He turned the computer back on.
He reached over and grabbed his cup of tea but as he reached over, Fuwa exclaimed “Why does the screen look like that?”
“Like what?” What he saw shocked him and in English he said in comic awe and fear “THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!”
“The blue...blue…what?” Fuwa stared at him confused. He knew enough English to know that it had something to do with the color. The screen was blue and cryptic writing was sprawled everywhere with ominous messages about the poor computer’s fate.
“Get up. Let me fix your solitaire machine,” Ruki ordered, laughing at the reaction on Fuwa’s face. He had meant to freak him out and he did.
“Alright, alright,” he slid off his chair and let Ruki sit down.
“I swear only old people get the Blue Screen of Death,” he teased.
“I hope it isn’t broken. That thing is expensive.”
“Just buy a deck of cards next time.”
Fuwa laughed. “I don’t play solitaire.”
“You will. You will find it and unable to fight against you old person nature, will play it and will become addicted to it.”
“I can’t escape my fate, can I?”
“No. I too one day, will sit on a computer and play solitaire for hours,” he spoke as he followed the Blue Screen of Death’s instructions, typing away at freaky speed.
From the living room, Akira could be heard barking incessantly. “Someone might be knocking on the door,” Fuwa said as he made his way out there. “Shhhh…” he said to the pup, who opted to ignore him and bark its head off instead. “Reita!” he smiled widely as he saw him standing there.
“Hey! Long time no see, Fuwa!” he bowed deeply and repeatedly.
“SHHHHH AKIRA,” he said turning to the dog, trying his best to calm him down.
“Akira!” Reita laughed heartily. “That’s what he named him!”
“Oh! He never told you?”
“No,” he folded his arms and shook his head. “That little….”
Hearing Reita’s voice, Ruki quickly got up and went out into the living room. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a mild state of shock and panic.
“Uhh…we have practice in 20 minutes and Aoi is downstairs in the van. Since he couldn’t find parking, he sent me up here to get you. Did you forget?”
“I thought it was an hour from now.”
“Um…no,” was all Reita could say.
“Shit. Um…wait here. Fuwa contracted a virus on his computer,” he said quickly as he rushed back into the office to resume his work.
“Hey!” Reita called after him. “Why did you name the dog after me?”
Shouting from other room, he joked “It was an accident! I confused him with you once!”
Cutting in, Fuwa offered “Would you like some tea?”
“Sure.”
The two of them went into the kitchen where Fuwa poured him some and sat down across from him. “So how have you been?”
Reita nodded. “I’ve been good.”
Seconds later, Ruki rushed in and leaning against the doorframe with narrowed eyes asked suspiciously “Have you two been talking about me?”
“Dude, I just sat down.”
“How’s the computer?” Fuwa asked.
“I think you need to take it to a professional.”
“Well, that’s unfortunate.”
“You two have been talking about me, haven’t you?”
“Dude, I quite literally just sat down.”
“You should probably get your things together,” Fuwa said. “You don’t want to make Aoi wait too long.”
Ruki stared at the two of them, shifting his gaze from one to the other. “I’ll be quick,” he said and went to his room to gather his things leaving Fuwa, Reita and Akira in the kitchen.
“What’s he so worried about?” Reita asked as he sipped his tea.
“That we will be trading secrets I suppose.”
“If that’s the case, let’s not waste any time. What do you know?”
“He eats a lot.”
“He’s ticklish under the arms.”
“He’s also ticklish on the bottom of his feet.”
“Oh,” Reita nodded. “You’re right he is. I never made the connection. When it snows, sometimes he eats it off of the windowsill.”
“Really? I didn’t know you knew him in the winter…”
“He admitted it to me once that he eats it off of the windowsill.”
“That’s adorable,” Fuwa smiled to himself.
“Isn’t it?” Reita folded his arms and shook his head as he characteristically would. He let out a sigh. “He’s cute.”
“He is.”
Ruki peered in. “You bastards are talking about me, aren’t you?”
“Dude!” Reita turned around dramatically. “Do you honestly believe our lives revolve around you?!”
“You’re not talking about me?”
“NO!”
“Liar.”
“We are talking about the dog.”
“Fuwa, is he lying?”
“No, we were talking about the dog.”
He narrowed his eyes and much in the same way as he had done before he left last time, shifted his gaze back and forth between the expectant faces before going back to finish up his preparations.
“Quick,” Reita said turning back to him. “What else do you know?”
“If you take his blanket away from him, he’ll sleep on his belly.”
“Really? God, that’s cute.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“He likes fruity drinks. One time he drank a whole liter of apple juice and whined about having a stomach ache. He can be bratty can’t he?”
“He can be. You should see him when I put strawberries in his little morning fruit bowl.”
“He has a morning fruit bowl?”
“Mhm. He eats it meticulously too.”
“Awww how cute.”
Ruki with his bag thrown over his shoulder stood in the doorway to the kitchen. “You bastards are talking about me.”
“No!” Reita turned around and glared at him. “We are talking about the dog.”
“I heard you say ‘how cute.’”
“And you think we are talking about you?!”
“You’re talking about the dog?” he asked challengingly. “What about the dog?”
“About what he likes to eat.”
“Which is?”
Suppressing a smile, Reita lied “Strawberries.”
“Akira doesn’t eat strawberries. See, you are talking about me!”
“No!”
“Yes you are!” he pointed a finger at him.
“NOOOOOO!”
“YESSSSSS!”
“NOOOOOO!!”
“YESSSSSS!”
“I think you two should be on your way,” Fuwa cut in. “I’m sure Aoi doesn’t want to sit there any longer waiting for you.”
“What were you saying about me?” Ruki asked as he made his way over to Fuwa.
“We were just saying that you were little and evil and little…and….”
“And what?”
“Evil,” Reita laughed.
“You’re mean,” Ruki smiled and placed a long kiss on Fuwa’s cheek. From across the kitchen table, Reita watched a bit taken aback. “I’ll see you later,” he said lowly to him.
“Have a good time,” Fuwa turned and smiled sweetly at him.
“Have fun writing or doing Fuwa things,” he kissed him the forehead. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
Reita somewhat immobile, just watched shocked. “Are you coming?” Ruki asked.
“Uh..uh…” he stammered. “Yeah, I’m coming.” Getting to his feet, he nearly knocked the tea cups off the table. “Yeah, yeah…uh….yeah…let’s go.” He followed Ruki out the door and down the stairs.
Just before they exited the building, Ruki stopped in his tracks and turned around. “It’s what you are thinking,” he said to him.
“What I’m thinking?”
“Yeah about me and Fuwa. It is what it looks like.”
“What…does….it look like?” Reita smiled awkwardly and weakly. His palms were a bit clammy and his head felt dull with confusion.
“We’re together, me and him.”
“…Really?” His voice was barely audible.
“I know it must seem out of the blue to you but it really isn’t.”
“He’s kinda…out of your age range and….he’s…Fuwa…Fu…wa…uh…” He didn’t know what to say or think or do. He couldn’t quite compute what was going on.
“Age isn’t important.”
“….Right.”
“Look I’m not asking you to be understanding but don’t try to talk me out of being with him or any of that bullshit.”
“So, um…Ruki, are you two together or is it how you see it, you know what I mean?”
“You’re asking me if Fuwa is actually with me or if it’s my imagination?”
“I mean…I find it hard to believe that he would actually be with someone as young as you…Coming from you, I have to admit, it’s not completely out of what’s possible for you but…for him…”
Ruki sighed. “He resisted of course because he’s a good guy and he used to think it would be wrong but…I reasoned with him.”
“Resisted? I like your choice of words…” he laughed uncomfortably.
“Reita, I don’t have to explain anything to you. We’re together and we love each other and that’s that.”
“Ruki,” he stopped him before he could turn around and open the door out of the apartment building. “I’m not judging. Really, I’m not…but you know, it’s shocking. You have to admit. I have to get used to the idea.”
“And before you get any more ideas, just know that if you suddenly decide you want me, don’t bother because I’m never leaving him.” Ruki didn’t anticipate that he would be so defensive but his fear at being thought of as a freak or of people inferring that their relationship was disgusting, had made him without realizing it distrustful and aggressive.
Reita stared blankly at him. “Uh…okay,” he was startled. “That’s ironic, don’t you think?”
As soon as he heard Reita’s retort, it clicked. He had done that to him. He had recklessly ruined his relationship with Kameyo and his carelessness if it weren’t for the good of Reita’s heart, could have ruined their friendship. “I’m sorry.”
“Right. You’re self-centered, you know that?”
“I didn’t mean-”
“Look, I’m not going to bother arguing or whatever, Ruki. Honestly, it didn’t even cross my mind to steal you or to have you back.”
Ruki stared down at the floor as Reita, aghast scolded him. His words hurt him more than he thought they could. He perhaps wanted Reita to have a small part of him that wanted him still. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Really I am. I fucked it up, okay? I always fuck it up. I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have ruined your marriage. I’m sorry.”
Reita stared at him, trying his best to accept his apology with an open heart. “Look, Ruki, let’s just go to practice. I’m kinda angry right now so I don’t trust what I will say…let’s just…”
“I understand,” he said to the floor.
With a deep sigh, Reita said “Alright” and walked pass him out the door.
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20| Part 21| Part 22| Part 23| Part 24| Part 25| Part 26| Part 27| Part 28| Part 29| Part 30.1| Part 30.2| Part 31| Part 32.1| Part 32.2| Part 33| Part 34| Part 35| Part 36| Part 37| Part 38| Part 39| Part 40| Part 41| Part 42
“Things are picking up faster than I thought they would,” Kai said as he stared up at the ceiling of D’s apartment. The two of them were lying there in the darkness as a Jeff Buckley album that Anna had left in the radio played softly.
“You’re destined for great things,” D said.
“I hope so.”
In less than a week, he was going to board a plane back to America. In less than a week, Kai was going to see him for what was likely the last time. How was one to go about this properly Kai wondered. How is one supposed to say goodbye? How were they to make the most of what little time they had left between them? And as he thought about it, it felt almost as if he was left feeling baffled and lost but what gave him that feeling more than not knowing what to do with their final moments was the gravity of their separation and how even though it was always on their minds, the two of them didn’t make a big deal out of it. It was unavoidable but was it? Why did they both believe that when he went home that they would never see each other again?
The future is uncertain that much is for sure. Where will they be a month from now? 6 months? A year? Could they not call? Write? Find some other way around the distance? But perhaps deep inside the two of them had the feeling that there was something temporary about them from the beginning or rather that this sort of relationship was at its sweetest and most romantic as something temporal like the seasons. And neither Kai nor D wanted to ruin the innocence that existed in this almost poetic resignation by talking about it or even by fighting for it. Kai wasn’t going to give any speeches or promises like Aoi had done. He wasn’t going to rebel like Ruki. Maybe this sudden separation he thought made his feelings for D more poignant and tenderer.
It was in truth, a vain notion but it was nevertheless in the end, a comforting one.
“Did you find anyone to take the apartment?”
“My friend just recently split with his fiancé. He says he’s interested in a new environment and since it’s cheaper, he’s interested.”
“Which one is this?”
“Reita. When he’s on stage, he wears that thing on his face…”
“The bassist. Are you two close?”
Kai turned to him and smiled. He presented a pair of crossed fingers and said cutely “Rhythm Brothers” and laughed. “He’s a good guy. Everyone loves him.”
“He seems really nice. By the way, there’s about 4 months still left on the lease.”
“I’ll let him know.”
The CD ended with a click. Silence.
“Why don’t you ever let me meet your mom?” D suddenly asked.
“Why would you want to meet her?” Of course that reply was useless. And before he could say anything, Kai said “If you really want to, sure.”
“Tomorrow?”
“We have practice until 6 tomorrow. You can come by around 7 and we can have dinner. She was talking earlier anyways about how I always come over here and force you to cook for me. If she only knew that I was merely a slave forced to work in your kitchen,” he laughed. “It’s probably best though if we keep our relationship a secret not because I’m ashamed or anything it’s just…would be a lot of explaining and it’s…” He felt strange saying that it wouldn’t be worth the effort considering that in less than a week, it would be over between them.
D however spared him the awkwardness and replied “I understand.”
“What’s your life like back there anyway?” Kai asked into the deep silence.
“Normal.”
“D…always so vague!” he said with a sad laugh.
“I really don’t know how else to describe it. I usually have a part time job when I’m there. I spend a lot of time with my mother and in the summer, we sit out on the porch or I go play basketball with my cousins and some kids from the neighborhood. Nothing too exciting.”
“Sounds nice.”
“Yeah. It’s nice.”
“When you come back to Japan for the next term, make sure you try to find me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
***
The Scorpion King bored Aoi so greatly that he pulled out a spare futon within the first 5 minutes from Uruha’s closet and pushing back the coffee table, set it out and proceeded to fall asleep as his host, lounging into his sofa drank sake and laughed at The Rock’s character’s stupid jokes. When at last the rather amusing and ridiculous film ended, Uruha turning off the television, crawled onto the floor and over to Aoi where he peered over his shoulder to get a look at his face.
“Aoi, are you asleep?”
No answer.
“Aoi, are you asleep?” he repeated. Again, no answer. Lifting up a lone finger, Uruha poked at the side of Aoi’s cheek causing him to groan tiredly. Another poke. “You can sleep on the bed if you want.”
“I’m fine,” he mumbled finally in response.
“Come on, go to the bed.” Uruha was perched like a sitting cat as he watched the side of Aoi’s sleeping face in the semi-darkness of the living room.
“I’m fine.”
“I don’t want to sleep out here. I hate sleeping on the floor.”
“Go sleep in the bed then.”
Uruha pouted and sighed loudly as he peeled the soft warm blanket away from Aoi and slipped in next to him. He wrapped his arms around his warm body from behind and buried his face into the thick black silk of his hair and in a whine-like moaned nagged “I hate sleeping on the floor” causing Aoi to slap his hand unexpectedly.
“Shut up and go to sleep.”
Uruha closed his eyes but as soon as he realized that he was lying next to Aoi, he grew excited and could not for the life of him force himself to sleep. Suddenly in a spurt of joy, he pecked the back of his head. “You smell good.” Aoi grunted in reply. “You should have watched the movie. It was funny. If Ruki was here, he would have complained about the overdubs but I think it made it funnier.”
“Uruha.”
“Hm?”
“Shut up.”
“Sorry.” Another peck on the back of the head. He finished it off with a tight squeeze.
“Uruha.”
“I’m not talking.”
Aoi chuckling, groaned like a tired old man and turned around languidly to face him. “You’re cute, little Ducky man,” he said with his eyes closed as he in turn, wrapped his sleepy arms around Uruha who watched him like a exhilarated child, thrilled by Aoi’s sweet affections. In reply, Uruha butted his forehead against his like a cat. Aoi giggled.
“Hoshi-samaaaaaaaaaaaaa~” Uruha held out the last vowel as long as he could before descending into a dorky laugh.
With a tired poke to the side, Aoi asked him with his eyes still closed “What do you want?”
“Hoshi-sammmaaaaaaaaaaa,” he repeated.
“Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?”
Unexpectedly, Uruha leaned forward and kissed him deeply and passionately void of any of his previous playfulness, embracing him instead hungrily and desperately. He puffed up his full mouth erotically and dragged it’s damp softness against Aoi’s lips as he slid the tip of his tongue into the thin opening between them. Aoi laughed as he lifted up two hands and held the sides of Uruha’s face. “Easy there, cowboy.” Opening his eyes, he smirked and added “I’m trying to sleep here.”
Uruha watched him with wide eyes and a puffy mouth. “Sorry.”
“No you’re not. LIAR!” he smiled and buried his face into the little white pillow as if he were hiding it from him.
“I’m not a liar,” Uruha laughed like a child and grabbed at his sides.
“DAI! DAI! You’re hurting me!” he squirmed away from him playfully.
“No, I’m not!”
“OWWWWWWWW!”
“Stop whining!” Uruha threw himself on him and pinned him down into the makeshift bed.
After quieting down, Aoi mumbled “Beauty is evil.”
Uruha unable to contain his happiness, wrapped his arms around him and kissed his head and his neck and back in a delighted frenzy.
“EH! EH! EH!” Aoi squirmed from beneath him. “Stop!”
“No.”
“Stop!” Aoi laughed and burying his face again into his pillow let out a fake groan of pain. Throwing his leg around him, Uruha cupped his body with his limbs and cleaning Aoi’s hair away from his neck with his nose started to French kiss the skin there as if it were his mouth. Dragging his wet tongue up, he licked the back of his ear. Aoi moaned. “Okay, don’t do that.” But Uruha didn’t listen and instead, threaded the erotic organ of his tongue into the bowl of his ear and after wetting its inside with his spit, exhaled hotly and let out a high pitched moan. “Ducky Baby, please don’t that~” Aoi being nice, begged him.
“Am I turning you on?” he asked him excitedly like a school boy.
“No, you’re making me tired,” he replied sarcastically.
Quietly, Uruha considered his response for several awkward and silent moments and then realizing that it was sarcasm called him out on it. “Don’t lie,” he laughed.
“I’m not going to sleep with you after you forced me to watch the Scorpion King,” Aoi joked in a flat tone.
“We can watch the sports channel to see the football highlights,” Uruha teased knowing how much that would bore and irritate him.
“Ughhh…you make me feel so gay…” He picked up the pillow and threw it over his head.
“Do you seriously not want to have sex?”
Aoi looked out from under the pillow. “Sorry baby but football and bad action flicks don’t quite do the trick for me.”
Uruha giggled and interpreting that as a no, ran his hands underneath Aoi’s shirt and continuously giggling, pressed his chest against his back as he searched for Aoi’s nipples while he squirmed beneath him with yet another string of EH! EH! EH!s. Aroused, Uruha held his waist against Aoi allowing himself to grow harder and harder as Aoi struggled underneath him. He pinched the small nipples with his fingers and kissed his neck. He pressed his tongue against the wet and exposed skin and licked him until Aoi was forced to lift up his chin as it traveled upward. “You’re mine,” he said suddenly with an almost dominating seriousness.
“I’m yours?” Aoi said from the deep thickness of his throat and playing submissive, he bent his knees and arched his back as he pushed himself against Uruha’s erection.
“Mhm,” Uruha laughed. He bit his lip and not wasting any more time, undid the fastening on Aoi’s jeans and grabbing his underwear with them, pulled them down. He pressed his fingers into Aoi’s mouth until they wet. Quickly and excitedly, he retracted them and as he held Aoi’s waist, pressed the wet fingers into his hole. With his other hand, he pulled his own pants down awkwardly. Aoi laughed as he imagined what Uruha must look like behind him as he listened to his fumbling.
“Come on, Ducky baby~” Aoi sang as he swayed his waist side to side cutely and crudely. He rarely let Uruha take him and so Uruha a bit too enthusiastically, pushed himself into a bit too far causing Aoi to yelp in pain. “Fuck,” he cringed.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He shut his eyes and rocked himself like a wave with Uruha inside of him.
Moaning almost pathetically, Uruha threw himself down against him and met his exertions with quick and needy motions of his own. He wrapped his arms around his torso in a tight hug and resting his cheek next to Aoi’s whispered “thank you” into his ear causing Aoi to laugh hysterically.
“URUHA! You funny boy!” he giggled and began to sway his hips erotically from side to side and up and down, tightening himself periodically.
He moaned nearly frantically. “Aoi, I’m sorry but I think I might cum too soon…” he mumbled cutely like fool.
“Ooooo,” he replied in a sexy coo and giggling at Uruha’s virginlike fumbling, teased him playfully. “Baby, fuck me. Take me, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby~”
Uruha in high pitched voice, repeated how much he loved him over and over again into his ear when at last he sped up to the point where he finally came inside of him. “My love,” he whispered as he held onto him as if holding onto his life.
Before the moment could get to serious, Aoi like an amateur wrestler, quickly got up and toppled Uruha onto his back. “Didn’t see that coming, huh?” he laughed. He lifted up his legs. Still aroused he pushed himself inside of Uruha. Leaning forward, he held his hands down above his head and pecked Uruha’s cheek. “I win.”
“Win?”
“Yeah, I win.”
“Win what?”
“This. I win this.” He sat up. His dark hair fell about his face as he looked down at Uruha who peered up at him with large cat eyes that betrayed his almost innocent desire. This was like being on stage for Aoi. His love making was like a performance and his lover, the crowd. Aoi wasn’t good at many things but he was good at this and he knew it. He pulled his shirt off, revealing his damp well formed chest that in the faint light gleamed. “Do you worship me, baby?” he growled.
“Mhm,” Uruha nodded a bit too eagerly.
“Do you feel me, baby?”
“Mhm.”
“Do you want me, baby?” he rocked a little more forcibly as he ran his flat palm up Uruha’s testicles.
“Mhm.”
Throwing his head back and running his other hand down his neck and down his chest, twirled his tongue slowly around the perimeter of his lips. “Do you love me, baby?”
“I love you.”
He smiled and almost as if he were snapping out of his role as a Sex God, peered down at Uruha, charmed by his childlike honesty and his willingness. “You’re cute.”
“I love you.”
“Do you, now?” he smiled warmly. Closing in the distance between their two bodies, he rocked slowly and sweetly as he kissed Uruha’s chin.
“I love you.”
“That’s new,” he laughed.
“Tell me you love me too, Aoi. Please.”
“I don’t,” he lied but Uruha was in no mood for jokes and he quickly turned his face away from him. “Awww baby, I’m kidding. I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry. I’m not funny.”
Still looking away from, he ran his hand gingerly and almost shyly up Aoi’s back and threaded his fingers into his hair. Aoi stopped his motions and stared at his face in the dim glow.
“Of course, I love you,” he said, his voice sure, forceful and clear. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I always will. How many times do I have to tell you?”
Uruha looked at him and smiled. Ignoring almost the oppressiveness of Aoi’s seriousness, asked with his baby smile “What do you love?”
Aoi pecked him on the cheek. “Ducky Baby.”
***
“Look what I have,” Fuwa said almost as if he were talking a tiny child. Ruki flipping through a SHOXX magazine with INORAN on the cover, peered out from behind it. He was reclining on the sofa inside of Fuwa’s office where he often lounged around like a bored therapy patient. In front of Fuwa, was a big black laptop computer.
“Where did you get that?”
“Isao bought it last year. Now, how do I turn this on…” he asked aloud as he leaned forward and straining to see all the buttons with his poor eyesight, took his glasses off as if that would help. Finally finding it, he pushed it down with a bit too much drama and pleasure at his success.
Ruki laughed at him. “You don’t know how to use it?”
“I know a little bit,” he replied as he scanned the machine.
“But not how to turn it on?”
“I forgot where the button was.”
“Mhm.” Ruki didn’t believe him. He set the magazine aside and sat up. “Why are you using it? Are you going to play solitaire or Mahjong on it?” He laughed.
“Why would that be funny?” Fuwa turned and tilted his head at him.
“Are you seriously going to do that?”
“No. I’m going to use that electronic mail service to send a letter to Dazai…” he watched the screen as it booted up wondering when he should brave it and see if the elusive machine was ready to use.
“It’s called email…usually. And I said that because that’s what old people do on computers, play solitaire and Mahjong.”
“I’m going to play it just to spite you…of course, after you show me how,” he laughed at himself. With his two index fingers, he hovered over the keyboard and typed in the password with painful slowness.
“Don’t you know how to type?”
“No, not really.”
“You never learned to type?”
“I’m from the olden days you forget, Ruki back when we had to march up hills barefoot in the snow just to get to school,” he laughed.
“And you had to hunt for your food with spears.”
“Yes and you bought everything in rice. Primitive days, my young friend.”
Ruki got to his feet. “We have it so easy these days,” he giggled and walking over him, leaned over his shoulder and looked at the laptop, watching as Fuwa moved the little white arrow across the screen to the internet icon. “God, I can’t watch you. If I do, I’ll lose my mind.”
“Bet you didn’t think I had an email,” he laughed. He was having too much fun with this computer business. Ruki smiling, kissed him on the cheek. “I’m going to get me some tea. You want some, baby?”
“Sure.” He stared at the screen with the utmost concentration as he tried to make sense of what was before him with his brow furrowed and his lips pursed. Ruki left the room and in the distance he could hear him serenading the dog, changing the lyrics of a popular song to fit something that had to do with Akira and being cute. He opened up his email and before him were tons of unopened messages at a grand total of 9. It was a bit overwhelming. Some of them were from people he didn’t even know and some of them were advertisements. He looked at the names and coming upon one from Kawai that said merely in the title “Hello” clicked it. The email was blank except for a link. “Strange…” he said as he moved the mouse over to it. “Wonder what he sent me…” he mumbled as he clicked it.
Suddenly the calm screen erupted into an uncontrollable chaos. Pop ups crowded the screen most of which were pornography. Images flashed and flooded every pixel and offers to enter in some online lottery blinked in neon colors.
Ruki re-entering the room with two cups of tea in his hands stared at it in shock. “What happened?”
“Kawai sent me a link and I clicked it,” Fuwa lifted up his hands into the air as if he by chance touched the computer it would erupt like a bomb.
“You clicked on a suspicious link!”
“Kawai sent it to me.”
“His email got fished.”
“Fished?”
There was so much porn on the screen, it was almost brain numbing. “Let me see,” Ruki said as he moved over to the desk and set the tea down. He started clicking x on all the pop ups by the more he exited out of flashing images of large breasts and pixilated vaginas, the more they appeared. Ruki opted out and just pushed the off button and forced the computer to shut down.
As soon as the screen went black, Fuwa said with a sigh “I’ve just seen more lady parts than I ever wanted to see in my whole life.”
Ruki giggled. “So, you are gay for sure?”
Fuwa nodded and rubbed his eyes as if by doing so, he could erase the images from his memory. “I’m gay for sure,” he laughed. “I hope it isn’t broken.”
“Your sanity or the computer?”
“I’m 57 years old. I think I can handle a vagina in my face,” he chuckled at his own joke.
“Fuwaaaaaaa,” Ruki giggled cutely and delighted. “Stop being funny.” He turned the computer back on.
He reached over and grabbed his cup of tea but as he reached over, Fuwa exclaimed “Why does the screen look like that?”
“Like what?” What he saw shocked him and in English he said in comic awe and fear “THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!”
“The blue...blue…what?” Fuwa stared at him confused. He knew enough English to know that it had something to do with the color. The screen was blue and cryptic writing was sprawled everywhere with ominous messages about the poor computer’s fate.
“Get up. Let me fix your solitaire machine,” Ruki ordered, laughing at the reaction on Fuwa’s face. He had meant to freak him out and he did.
“Alright, alright,” he slid off his chair and let Ruki sit down.
“I swear only old people get the Blue Screen of Death,” he teased.
“I hope it isn’t broken. That thing is expensive.”
“Just buy a deck of cards next time.”
Fuwa laughed. “I don’t play solitaire.”
“You will. You will find it and unable to fight against you old person nature, will play it and will become addicted to it.”
“I can’t escape my fate, can I?”
“No. I too one day, will sit on a computer and play solitaire for hours,” he spoke as he followed the Blue Screen of Death’s instructions, typing away at freaky speed.
From the living room, Akira could be heard barking incessantly. “Someone might be knocking on the door,” Fuwa said as he made his way out there. “Shhhh…” he said to the pup, who opted to ignore him and bark its head off instead. “Reita!” he smiled widely as he saw him standing there.
“Hey! Long time no see, Fuwa!” he bowed deeply and repeatedly.
“SHHHHH AKIRA,” he said turning to the dog, trying his best to calm him down.
“Akira!” Reita laughed heartily. “That’s what he named him!”
“Oh! He never told you?”
“No,” he folded his arms and shook his head. “That little….”
Hearing Reita’s voice, Ruki quickly got up and went out into the living room. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a mild state of shock and panic.
“Uhh…we have practice in 20 minutes and Aoi is downstairs in the van. Since he couldn’t find parking, he sent me up here to get you. Did you forget?”
“I thought it was an hour from now.”
“Um…no,” was all Reita could say.
“Shit. Um…wait here. Fuwa contracted a virus on his computer,” he said quickly as he rushed back into the office to resume his work.
“Hey!” Reita called after him. “Why did you name the dog after me?”
Shouting from other room, he joked “It was an accident! I confused him with you once!”
Cutting in, Fuwa offered “Would you like some tea?”
“Sure.”
The two of them went into the kitchen where Fuwa poured him some and sat down across from him. “So how have you been?”
Reita nodded. “I’ve been good.”
Seconds later, Ruki rushed in and leaning against the doorframe with narrowed eyes asked suspiciously “Have you two been talking about me?”
“Dude, I just sat down.”
“How’s the computer?” Fuwa asked.
“I think you need to take it to a professional.”
“Well, that’s unfortunate.”
“You two have been talking about me, haven’t you?”
“Dude, I quite literally just sat down.”
“You should probably get your things together,” Fuwa said. “You don’t want to make Aoi wait too long.”
Ruki stared at the two of them, shifting his gaze from one to the other. “I’ll be quick,” he said and went to his room to gather his things leaving Fuwa, Reita and Akira in the kitchen.
“What’s he so worried about?” Reita asked as he sipped his tea.
“That we will be trading secrets I suppose.”
“If that’s the case, let’s not waste any time. What do you know?”
“He eats a lot.”
“He’s ticklish under the arms.”
“He’s also ticklish on the bottom of his feet.”
“Oh,” Reita nodded. “You’re right he is. I never made the connection. When it snows, sometimes he eats it off of the windowsill.”
“Really? I didn’t know you knew him in the winter…”
“He admitted it to me once that he eats it off of the windowsill.”
“That’s adorable,” Fuwa smiled to himself.
“Isn’t it?” Reita folded his arms and shook his head as he characteristically would. He let out a sigh. “He’s cute.”
“He is.”
Ruki peered in. “You bastards are talking about me, aren’t you?”
“Dude!” Reita turned around dramatically. “Do you honestly believe our lives revolve around you?!”
“You’re not talking about me?”
“NO!”
“Liar.”
“We are talking about the dog.”
“Fuwa, is he lying?”
“No, we were talking about the dog.”
He narrowed his eyes and much in the same way as he had done before he left last time, shifted his gaze back and forth between the expectant faces before going back to finish up his preparations.
“Quick,” Reita said turning back to him. “What else do you know?”
“If you take his blanket away from him, he’ll sleep on his belly.”
“Really? God, that’s cute.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“He likes fruity drinks. One time he drank a whole liter of apple juice and whined about having a stomach ache. He can be bratty can’t he?”
“He can be. You should see him when I put strawberries in his little morning fruit bowl.”
“He has a morning fruit bowl?”
“Mhm. He eats it meticulously too.”
“Awww how cute.”
Ruki with his bag thrown over his shoulder stood in the doorway to the kitchen. “You bastards are talking about me.”
“No!” Reita turned around and glared at him. “We are talking about the dog.”
“I heard you say ‘how cute.’”
“And you think we are talking about you?!”
“You’re talking about the dog?” he asked challengingly. “What about the dog?”
“About what he likes to eat.”
“Which is?”
Suppressing a smile, Reita lied “Strawberries.”
“Akira doesn’t eat strawberries. See, you are talking about me!”
“No!”
“Yes you are!” he pointed a finger at him.
“NOOOOOO!”
“YESSSSSS!”
“NOOOOOO!!”
“YESSSSSS!”
“I think you two should be on your way,” Fuwa cut in. “I’m sure Aoi doesn’t want to sit there any longer waiting for you.”
“What were you saying about me?” Ruki asked as he made his way over to Fuwa.
“We were just saying that you were little and evil and little…and….”
“And what?”
“Evil,” Reita laughed.
“You’re mean,” Ruki smiled and placed a long kiss on Fuwa’s cheek. From across the kitchen table, Reita watched a bit taken aback. “I’ll see you later,” he said lowly to him.
“Have a good time,” Fuwa turned and smiled sweetly at him.
“Have fun writing or doing Fuwa things,” he kissed him the forehead. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
Reita somewhat immobile, just watched shocked. “Are you coming?” Ruki asked.
“Uh..uh…” he stammered. “Yeah, I’m coming.” Getting to his feet, he nearly knocked the tea cups off the table. “Yeah, yeah…uh….yeah…let’s go.” He followed Ruki out the door and down the stairs.
Just before they exited the building, Ruki stopped in his tracks and turned around. “It’s what you are thinking,” he said to him.
“What I’m thinking?”
“Yeah about me and Fuwa. It is what it looks like.”
“What…does….it look like?” Reita smiled awkwardly and weakly. His palms were a bit clammy and his head felt dull with confusion.
“We’re together, me and him.”
“…Really?” His voice was barely audible.
“I know it must seem out of the blue to you but it really isn’t.”
“He’s kinda…out of your age range and….he’s…Fuwa…Fu…wa…uh…” He didn’t know what to say or think or do. He couldn’t quite compute what was going on.
“Age isn’t important.”
“….Right.”
“Look I’m not asking you to be understanding but don’t try to talk me out of being with him or any of that bullshit.”
“So, um…Ruki, are you two together or is it how you see it, you know what I mean?”
“You’re asking me if Fuwa is actually with me or if it’s my imagination?”
“I mean…I find it hard to believe that he would actually be with someone as young as you…Coming from you, I have to admit, it’s not completely out of what’s possible for you but…for him…”
Ruki sighed. “He resisted of course because he’s a good guy and he used to think it would be wrong but…I reasoned with him.”
“Resisted? I like your choice of words…” he laughed uncomfortably.
“Reita, I don’t have to explain anything to you. We’re together and we love each other and that’s that.”
“Ruki,” he stopped him before he could turn around and open the door out of the apartment building. “I’m not judging. Really, I’m not…but you know, it’s shocking. You have to admit. I have to get used to the idea.”
“And before you get any more ideas, just know that if you suddenly decide you want me, don’t bother because I’m never leaving him.” Ruki didn’t anticipate that he would be so defensive but his fear at being thought of as a freak or of people inferring that their relationship was disgusting, had made him without realizing it distrustful and aggressive.
Reita stared blankly at him. “Uh…okay,” he was startled. “That’s ironic, don’t you think?”
As soon as he heard Reita’s retort, it clicked. He had done that to him. He had recklessly ruined his relationship with Kameyo and his carelessness if it weren’t for the good of Reita’s heart, could have ruined their friendship. “I’m sorry.”
“Right. You’re self-centered, you know that?”
“I didn’t mean-”
“Look, I’m not going to bother arguing or whatever, Ruki. Honestly, it didn’t even cross my mind to steal you or to have you back.”
Ruki stared down at the floor as Reita, aghast scolded him. His words hurt him more than he thought they could. He perhaps wanted Reita to have a small part of him that wanted him still. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Really I am. I fucked it up, okay? I always fuck it up. I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have ruined your marriage. I’m sorry.”
Reita stared at him, trying his best to accept his apology with an open heart. “Look, Ruki, let’s just go to practice. I’m kinda angry right now so I don’t trust what I will say…let’s just…”
“I understand,” he said to the floor.
With a deep sigh, Reita said “Alright” and walked pass him out the door.