Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta:
butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts:
Part 1.1 |
Part 1.2 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4.1|
Part 4.2|
Part 5|
Part 6|
Part 7.1|
Part 7.2|
Part 8.1|
Part 8.2|
Part 9|
Part 10|
Part 11|
Part 12|
Part 13|
Part 14|
Part 15|
Part 16|
Part 17|
Part 18|
Part 19|
Part 20|
Part 21|
Part 22|
Part 23|
Part 24|
Part 25|
Part 26|
Part 27|
Part 28|
Part 29|
Part 30.1|
Part 30.2|
Part 31|
Part 32.1 “I think we should run through the phrases once more,” Uruha had said, finally breaking the awkward silence between them.
“Yeah,” Aoi picked up his mug of untouched black coffee and dumped it into the sink.
“I think the two of us aren’t in sync as much as I would like…”
“Yeah.” Aoi wasn’t really listening.
He could detect easily the agitation in Aoi’s voice. “Are you mad at me?” Uruha asked, staring forward.
With an irritated sigh, Aoi replied “Why would I be mad at you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, if you don’t know, why are you asking?”
“Aoi, stop being so mean,” he said softly. “Please,” he added.
“Mean?” He turned around and glared at him, his black eyes flashing furiously. His words-no matter what they were, grated his nerves. “Uruha, why can’t it get through your thick skull that I just want some fucking space, okay? Space. That’s it. Quit asking me if I am okay because-honestly, how can I fucking be okay? How can I possibly be fucking okay?” Uruha refused to look at him. Wrapping his hands tightly around his own mug of coffee, he gritted his teeth trying his best to protect himself from his aggressive and hurtful words. “All I am asking is for you to get your fucking hands off me for a little while, alright?! I don’t want you to nitpick at the fucking guitar phrases or my mood or how you want to fucking have sex at the most random and worst times, alright? Just shut the fuck up. I’m sorry for hitting you, okay? Sorry, I am talking to you this way but you just don’t get it.”
“Aoi…”
He couldn’t control himself. He was like a mad dog, infected with a form of rabies that no matter how much he tried to keep it in check, sent his nerves aflame and brought all of his negativity and all of his hate to life.
“Why is this happening to you…” Uruha looked down at the table, a feeling of defeat crept up inside of him. He seemed as if he were speaking more to himself than to Aoi.
“Why is what?” he hissed.
“Why are you so angry?”
“Don’t I have a right to be angry? Why do I have to be happy all the fucking time? That’s the problem with you and with Kai and the others, always trying to make me happy….I just want to be angry right now, alright?”
Muttering, Uruha replied “I don’t like it when you are angry.”
“Fine, I don’t give a fuck if you like it or not,” Aoi straightened up. “I’ll just leave. I’ll see you fucking at Cerberus or wherever that place is.” Walking towards the door, he slipped his shoes on.
“Aoi, wait,” Uruha quickly got to his feet and rushed over to him. “Wait,” he said as he pressed his hands against the wall and caged Aoi between his arms. He looked at Uruha with agitation. “I’m sorry. You’re right. You need space…”
“So, you’re blocking me in?” Aoi replied bitterly.
“I don’t want you to leave upset with me.”
Aoi gritting his teeth felt something inside of him fighting against himself. Inside of his chest, swimming in a battle of wills, all his desire for destruction or for the release that rage fought against his overwhelming love and affection the welled up inside of him when he looked at Uruha or heard his voice or smelled his sweet lavender scent. Seeing the pain and the fear in his eyes now, paralyzed Aoi and filled him with a self-hate that seemed to only turn him against the very thing that brought on this very hate and threatened to overtake all of his tenderness.
Maybe it wasn’t that this shit life of his was balanced out by Uruha, maybe in the end, he didn’t even deserve this. He felt stupid, tricked even that he believed himself worthy of this happiness. A man that was wouldn’t be like this, wouldn’t be so angry, so violent, so hurtful. All along, the fates must have been laughing at him. To think that he was worth it. He smiled bitterly now.
“Just…I love you, okay?” Uruha’s dark eyes were damp and filled with confusion at the thin sour smile that appeared on Aoi’s lips. Almost as if he were trying to wipe it away, he pressed his soft mouth against his and gently kissed him.
Inside of Aoi, the war raged as his intense love for him flashed and sparked like a fire work. It overwhelmed his senses and the thoughts that ran incessantly throughout his brain shifted to a sweet memory of how he had described this feeling once, like your soul beneath your skin and it was almost as if he had kissed him for the first time.
But as soon as Uruha pulled away, a bittersweet feeling overcame him in the childish fluttery of his heart as if the action now was defined more by his retreating lips than by the kiss itself and Aoi was left feeling baffled.
Things can change so quickly, he realized.
[Super short section 2, eh? Well, I wanted to make sure that you got the full swing of this part in Aoiha's relationship, you know the full dose of pain. I know the last little part of this section is a bit complicated. I tried to convey the feelings and the thoughts and I know it's hard to grasp but please try your best! I hope I did what I could to have it at clear as possible while still maintaining the particular tone and expression that comes with Aoi's ever confusing and complicated feelings.
I'm posting earlier-ish (?) because I have no idea what I will be doing tomorrow. As of right now, I think I am just going to post within a 24-48 hour interval between the last post and the next just because my life has been crazy and I can't keep to a set schedule. >.>
I know this story is so f'n long but I hope you are all enjoying yourselves and haven't grown bored of this story just yet.]