Well, Tuesday afternoon, after a few days of panic attacks, crying attacks, deep heartbreak and the feeling that I was loosing my mind and the dark deamons were soon to get me, I call Kaiser and got an appointment with a psychiatrist to get on some meds that would hopefully save me ( Read more... )

5 AM: Wake up to crushing grief and I can't stop the inevitable sobs that escape me. I am sick and already stuffed up and I am a mess of snot and tears in my bed ( Read more... )

November 1986: Forced to leave my home, my friends, my school and all I know in Washington State in order to relocate to California with my mom and dad. This comes after a devastating blow of loosing two friends to suicide a few months earlier. Ultimately, it's an amazing thing for me, but I was blown apart with grief to leave everything that meant ( Read more... )

Fuck PMS, why does is make my life so horrible ( Read more... )

Kindergarten is kicking my butt as far as having to prepare on a daily basis to get Anya to school on time. Lunches, clothing, hair, breakfast, it all adds up to a lot of time that I did not intend on. Not to mention the early hour, though I have to say, it HAS been a lot of extra work but I am doing it, getting it done and having little drama ( Read more... )

I miss my mom, I miss my mom, I miss my mom. It was about a year ago I noticed she wasn't well. Almost a year since we first found the tumor. 6 Months since she left me.

I can't beleive how longs it's been since I posted. So much stupidness going on I want to vomit ( Read more... )

1. I'm feeling deeply sad and missing my mom a lot. I picked up her ashes on Friday and now they are sitting on my kitchen counter. My cat often sits next to the urn, it's kind weird. I have to say, the funeral industry really takes financial advantage of grieving families, it's pretty fucked up. They charged us $90 for a cardboard box that's ( Read more... )

1. My sister and I kissed and made up. We let all the ugliness go and agreed that grief is getting to us and we need to love each other, not kill one another. We cleaned out and said goodbye to my mom's apartment yesterday, spending a few moments before we left thanking her space for providing shelter and a home for her for 4.5 years ( Read more... )

1. Can my sister be more of a meanie-head? God, she is so bad at handling her emotions, all she can do is get mad at me over everything. What I want from mom's, what I don't want, how I am going to get it, what I am doing, what I am not doing. I can't seem to do anything right in her eyes and of course, I do it just to piss her off, RIGHT ( Read more... )