Sad, sad, sad...
1. I'm feeling deeply sad and missing my mom a lot. I picked up her ashes on Friday and now they are sitting on my kitchen counter. My cat often sits next to the urn, it's kind weird. I have to say, the funeral industry really takes financial advantage of grieving families, it's pretty fucked up. They charged us $90 for a cardboard box that's mandatory for bodies to be in during cremation and the would have charged us $300 for a stupid ugly urn that was made in China for $1.00. I instead spent $8.00 on a gorgeous ceramic flour jar from Pier 1 Imports. My mom, being the frugal woman, would have been proud that we screwed the funeral folks.
2. With all my sadness, I feel a horrid lack of energy and lack of desire to do anything useful with my house. I have my office filled with stuff from my mom's place and I don't even know where to begin. I go in there, look around and close the door, then I sit of the couch and stare out the window for an hour or so. I don't think it will take me all that long to organize it, but I just don't want to. On the flip side, it really sucks that my office can't be used for any of my creative endeavors and I trip on shit every time I go in there to get something.
3. I am also feeling so lonely. I know I have a lot of friends who love me, and I have some fun romantic things going on, but I still feel this deep, intense, no-one-can-fill-the-void loneliness inside me.
2. With all my sadness, I feel a horrid lack of energy and lack of desire to do anything useful with my house. I have my office filled with stuff from my mom's place and I don't even know where to begin. I go in there, look around and close the door, then I sit of the couch and stare out the window for an hour or so. I don't think it will take me all that long to organize it, but I just don't want to. On the flip side, it really sucks that my office can't be used for any of my creative endeavors and I trip on shit every time I go in there to get something.
3. I am also feeling so lonely. I know I have a lot of friends who love me, and I have some fun romantic things going on, but I still feel this deep, intense, no-one-can-fill-the-void loneliness inside me.