BLAH!
Fuck PMS, why does is make my life so horrible!
I am so unbelievably sad, I miss my mom sooooo much! I am at the year mark of noticing something not right with her. I am going over and over in my head those weeks before we knew about the tumor, but I also JUST KNEW she was going to die because of whatever was wrong with her. Anya's really missing her. She said to me last night, "I really miss Grammie taking care of me. I miss going to her house. I miss her, mommy"
I haven't verbally talked to my sister in months. After her last 2 stints in rehab in July (11 days in, 1 day out before she was loaded again, 30 days in, total of 4 rehab visits in a year), I just told her I needed to not be in her life right now. The lies and betrayal from her break my heart and I am tired. But I miss her, I miss my nephew. I am sad beacuse of that, too. She also owes me $1700 for the fucked up-ness she created over not paying the Home Care Company. $17,000 went on my credit card because of her drugged out bull shit. Luckly mom's estate paid most of if back, but she still owed me her share of the money from 3 months ago.
Now my brother is having a cancer scare. His doctor found "a mass" in his intestines last week. He has had 2 CAT scans but has not let us know yet if anything was conclusive with them. He has been elusive since my mom died. I guess that's how he has always been, but I figured we would get closer with mom's death. I guessed wrong. I don't want another cancer run. FUCK!
Seems like my family has splintered in all directions.
I am so unbelievably sad, I miss my mom sooooo much! I am at the year mark of noticing something not right with her. I am going over and over in my head those weeks before we knew about the tumor, but I also JUST KNEW she was going to die because of whatever was wrong with her. Anya's really missing her. She said to me last night, "I really miss Grammie taking care of me. I miss going to her house. I miss her, mommy"
I haven't verbally talked to my sister in months. After her last 2 stints in rehab in July (11 days in, 1 day out before she was loaded again, 30 days in, total of 4 rehab visits in a year), I just told her I needed to not be in her life right now. The lies and betrayal from her break my heart and I am tired. But I miss her, I miss my nephew. I am sad beacuse of that, too. She also owes me $1700 for the fucked up-ness she created over not paying the Home Care Company. $17,000 went on my credit card because of her drugged out bull shit. Luckly mom's estate paid most of if back, but she still owed me her share of the money from 3 months ago.
Now my brother is having a cancer scare. His doctor found "a mass" in his intestines last week. He has had 2 CAT scans but has not let us know yet if anything was conclusive with them. He has been elusive since my mom died. I guess that's how he has always been, but I figured we would get closer with mom's death. I guessed wrong. I don't want another cancer run. FUCK!
Seems like my family has splintered in all directions.