I'm going to take my revenge on you, Mentok, IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO. How could you do that?! GOD! Hell, how could they freaking SHOW that in a courtroom?! Where the hell is the fucking FCC when you ACTUALLY NEED THEM?! And as for those of you dicks who found it fit to make catcalls during that COURTROOM MOCKERY, I hope you realize that you're ( Read more... )

...Oh I hope you're fucking happy, Fujiko. I hope you're ecstatic about mowing down NEARLY SIXTY OF MY HENCHMEN. SIXTY. All for a freaking rescue! That wasn't heroics, it was murder! Hell, my men stopped fighting back halfway through! You went on a freaking rampage!

Goddamned guns.So, great, I've got twenty seven henchmen to my name. Twenty. ( Read more... )

HONEY! HONEY! HURRY! OH HOLY CRAP, HURRY AND PREPARE MY MINIONS FOR FLIGHT! FUCK, FUCK, HOW THE HELL COULD THIS HAPPEN, GAH! CALL THE SOVEREIGN! CALL THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINY!

WE HAVE TO STORM THE BOOKSTORES BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

Oh.... oh holy.... holy crap, those FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES, RAT BASTARDS, how could they do this to me again?! AGAIN?! Augh ( Read more... )

Venture? My wife and your fiance took off together in a helicopter heading for god only knows where. Thought you might want to know.

Reducto? That diamond better fucking help, because I am so done sitting around waiting. Gah.

That's IT, that's fucking IT, I'm not taking this crap from the henchmen anymore! All day long I'm CORNERED by them as they jabber on, and on, and on about EVEN MORE nerdy crap than I'm usually subjected to! And when they're not talking they're STARING. Just... staring, with this creepy glazed look in their eyes like FUCKING ZOMBIES. I yell at them ( Read more... )

…

…Well.

I’m in fucking Mordhell. No chains involved, but I’m back here anyways. Still alive, too, which is surprising. Don’t know how much longer all of this is going to take, because I apparently have to “make it up” to Candyland for the kidnapping thing. How in the hell I’m supposed to do that I don’t know, but it’s the only way I’m crawling out ( Read more... )

Accessed my account after my dinner with Jigen, intending to check on my recent deposit and transfer over his payment.

…I’ve been stolen from. MY FUCKING LAWYERS STOLE FROM ME!

Hate to do this to you, Jigen, but I’m going to need you one last time. You and I are going to pay Wolfram an unexpected visit. I’ll be waiting in the plane.

Make sure ( Read more... )

That was so many level of stupid I can’t even begin to… Geh. Idiots.

Well, for starters, Limb showed up and like A TOTAL DUMBASS freaking attacked Venture, seriously-what the hell was that all about? It’s like he was too much of a pussy to take his revenge out on ME, you know, the guy who THOUGHT UP the poison and HAD IT SLIPPED TO HIM and ( Read more... )

Went over to Mordhaus last night to give 'Freyr' his gift and see that lizard thing 'cause I'm a sap. Manhandled by the guards when I came in where'd they find those guys? Prison?, turned out to be a perfect setup for the visit. Almost got bit, and then the Swede... well. Long story short, I'm huddled in a corner drinking a wine cooler and I get ( Read more... )

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I haven't left my room yet because I'm afraid I might find a bunch of passed-out naked people and I don't think my blood pressure could take that right now. So much went wrong with that "party" I don't even know where to begin, so I'll sum it up:

Eggnog, necromancer, molested, tranq, jumped, black eye, I want Limb to be eviscerated ( Read more... )