The surgery seems to have been a success, and I'm SO thankful for that! ( Recovery so far )

I sent J the invitation to meet with me.  He didn't respond.  I suppose it's just as well, though I admit that I am sad about it.  Partly because some part of me still believes that he cared, flawed or not, and that he'd be happy to see me happy ( Read more... )

I won't be making a habit of this, but this is a special exception ( Read more... )

I've been telling myself not to write this entry.  No use, I tell myself, in wanting what won't be.  No point in wishing for what shouldn't be wished ( Read more... )

A while back I realized that there wasn't any of the giddy NRE stuff with me and Cw.  I was happy about it.  That NRE stuff brings a LOT of angst.

( Cut cuz NRE sux )

I was up last night pretty late.  The clock read 1:47 when I went to bed.  I was awake again before 7 this morning ( Read more... )

I hate fears like nothing else in the world.  I fear some things more than others, but I hate fear more than anything in the world.  I hate the way it freezes my mind.  I hate the way it makes my heart pound and then pause, like a rabbit that knows it's caught in a snare.  I hate the tears that flood my face when my fears roar in front of me and ( Read more... )

So this whole packing thing has taught me that I am not 20 anymore.  I've been sore and exhausted all week.  I didn't get much done tonight, but there's only tomorrow night and Friday to get through really, then I'll just be waiting for the movers ( Read more... )

I talked to Cw about the moving idea on the way home yesterday.  I think I got across that it's just too soon to talk about that right now.  I did tell him I could see it happening, but this isn't the time yet.  I also explained about not being sure I'm ready to give up having my own space.  I even managed to get out the idea that I'm trying not to ( Read more... )

It really is.  In fact, any task like that, based primarily on repetition is good for thinking.  With these gloves I'm making, as they are all my own design, I'm not really counting stitches like you have to with someone else's pattern.  I pause here and there and look back at what I did on the first glove and make sure I'm still doing things the ( Read more... )