If dreams can come true...
I've been telling myself not to write this entry. No use, I tell myself, in wanting what won't be. No point in wishing for what shouldn't be wished.
Oh who dared put that voice in my head in the first place?
Besides, it's my journal. I'll put whatever I want in it, including what I want.
Tonight is the last night for me in my current room. Tomorrow night I'll likely crash on the couch. Saturday, Cw and Nw will be here.
Oh I know all about what has been said. I'm not ... ok I'm trying not to hope too much. I still can't face the weekend without thinking of what I would like to see.
When I look forward, beyond our initial settling into one another, I can't help but see us all living together quite happily. Even my daughter. I see Nw and I propping Cw up and surrounding him with such acceptance and encouragement that he finds himself not only nailing interviews, but finding that job that is just hiding around the corner waiting for him to find it. I see Nw being able to then leave the job she hates and is so underpaid for, and her finding a better job where her work is appreciated. I see K being among us, and with the three of us, finding a new appreciation for herself, a new strength to start a new course in her life.
I see us blending together so well that Nw changes her mind and decides that yes, we should continue on as a household, as a family. From here, we go on to find a house, with more room so we can spread out more. From here we go on and build a life and a future where we all have a chance to reach for our dreams and to be loved and encouraged. I see K living with us for a time, finding her feet, learning how to handle being the amazing young woman I know she is.
I see it all so clearly, and I can't help but wish for it. I can't resist dreaming of it. Maybe I'm a fool, but, at least I'm a fool with a smile on her face today, who isn't afraid of the tears tomorrows may bring.
Oh who dared put that voice in my head in the first place?
Besides, it's my journal. I'll put whatever I want in it, including what I want.
Tonight is the last night for me in my current room. Tomorrow night I'll likely crash on the couch. Saturday, Cw and Nw will be here.
Oh I know all about what has been said. I'm not ... ok I'm trying not to hope too much. I still can't face the weekend without thinking of what I would like to see.
When I look forward, beyond our initial settling into one another, I can't help but see us all living together quite happily. Even my daughter. I see Nw and I propping Cw up and surrounding him with such acceptance and encouragement that he finds himself not only nailing interviews, but finding that job that is just hiding around the corner waiting for him to find it. I see Nw being able to then leave the job she hates and is so underpaid for, and her finding a better job where her work is appreciated. I see K being among us, and with the three of us, finding a new appreciation for herself, a new strength to start a new course in her life.
I see us blending together so well that Nw changes her mind and decides that yes, we should continue on as a household, as a family. From here, we go on to find a house, with more room so we can spread out more. From here we go on and build a life and a future where we all have a chance to reach for our dreams and to be loved and encouraged. I see K living with us for a time, finding her feet, learning how to handle being the amazing young woman I know she is.
I see it all so clearly, and I can't help but wish for it. I can't resist dreaming of it. Maybe I'm a fool, but, at least I'm a fool with a smile on her face today, who isn't afraid of the tears tomorrows may bring.