I know that I am.  I do try not to be.  I've been looking forward to the move.  I'm less than 30 days from moving day.  I can't quite settle myself that all will be well though.  My mind churns constantly about whether I'll have enough money, what if I miss work,what if I can't buy food, what if the car breaks down, and what if, and what if ( Read more... )

I'm sorry to make anyone worry.  I got all your messages, and honestly, your concern right now was much needed.  I've really been struggling lately ( Read more... )

I leave for the biopsy in about an hour and a half.  I've been nervous about it, putting a good face on it, but honestly, I'm scared breathless.

to make matters worse, there is just no one who can give me the type of support I need.  Cecil gives great reassurance.  Nikki pretends nothing is happening.  What I need is someone to hold me, let me be ( Read more... )

( RE: talking with J )

Let's talk about these patterns.  We all have them.  I don't care how great your life has been or how much you've accomplished, there's something that is self-defeating that likes to rear up and chomp on you from time to time.  They can be beaten, or at least this is what the modern theories are.

( Read more... )

It has been a long two years.  I've come a long way in that time.  A lot of the progress is just learning to live with what is.

I had contact with J last week.  It was just a brief IM conversation, but it really illustrated the difference between who I was and who I am.  Rather, the difference between how I used to handle things, and how I do now ( Read more... )

No, we're not splitting up the household, but it was a very close thing ( Read more... )

What a bear of a topic.  I've stayed away from anything that was critical of my partners deliberately.  Every family has disagreements.  Everyone in any relationship has issues to deal with.  I don't care if the only issue you face is a partner who won't put the lid back on the toothpaste, living together comes with it's challenges.  Polyamory is ( Read more... )

Two years ago I moved out of the home I shared with J and T ( Read more... )

I had a comment left on a post that I saw this morning asking me to consider submitting an earlier post for a magazine to publish.  In all honesty, I had forgotten the details of the post.  The mention of the title brought it back to mind and I recalled making the post, but I didn't recall exactly what was said.  The post asking for the submission ( Read more... )