I feel like I'm destined to make the same mistakes over and over.
I've been hanging out with Jake.
And I know it's kind of wrong, but something about it just seems so right.

I know nothing is going to happen because I could never hurt Ty like that,
But I mean... how can I stop myself from wondering 'what if' over and over again?

I don't know what happened. But the past two weeks we've had that thing again where it feels like we're inseperable. I can't stand to be away and drop pretty much anything to be with him. Together all the time, and answers my texts promptly and with cute replies ( Read more... )

Sitting in the theatre tonight, looking at him turn his hat backwards, made me feel the butterflies all over again. I looked at him and smiled and then turned away when he caught me so he wouldn't see. But I still couldn't help the smiles ( Read more... )

So, we fought and we fought some more. We cried and then cried some more. Then back to fighting. Then somewhere inbetween being sick and crying there was a peace offering. A little white flag of surrender. Neither of us wants to fight or be upset. But I just don't think we make eachother happy like we used to. The only thing that's keeping us ( Read more... )

He's giving up on me and I don't know what to do to make it better. Everything just keeps getting harder and harder. I want to be simple and easy. I want summer. I want to go back and do it all again.

We're having the marriage fight. It got so intense last night we stayed up for hours arguing. I got no sleep and I haven't cried that hard since Quebec. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's deja vu and it never gets any better. I don't even know exactly what I'm upset about, I just feel hurt and sad. I have no idea what's going to happen and ( Read more... )

I want to write on here to make myself feel better. But I'm not even sure why I'm upset. So I don't think I'm gonna be very successful with that one ( Read more... )

I am so tired. I can feel the stress melting away. Now I'm just exhausted ( Read more... )

Tomorrow is the first day of eleventh grade. I have a job interview after school. My period is over three days late. I got in a fight with Tyler yesterday because we had a big dicussion about marriage. He thinks if I say I don't want to marry him it means I don't love him. I asked if anything I had done over the entire summer (i.e. breaking up with ( Read more... )

So much has happened since my last post I don't even know where to start.

Tyler went to camp for the week and I spent the majority of it being crazy busy but stressed and worried out ot my mind that I was going to be late. Techinically I should have gotten my period between Thursday and Saturday. But being the freak that I am I like to psych myself ( Read more... )