Stress
Tomorrow is the first day of eleventh grade. I have a job interview after school. My period is over three days late. I got in a fight with Tyler yesterday because we had a big dicussion about marriage. He thinks if I say I don't want to marry him it means I don't love him. I asked if anything I had done over the entire summer (i.e. breaking up with my boyfriend for him, saying I loved him, being in a long distance relationship, giving him my virginity) counted for anything. In the heat of the moment, he actually said he wasn't sure that it did. And then my heart started to fall apart a little bit.
" i guess i said that before i thought it through and im just so upset because i dont want to think about not being together and its hard to explain cuz i really love the small things u do and i duno i love you and want u to love me back. "
" but now i just feel like saying i love you doesnt mean anything to u. please dont be upset it breaks my heart to b the one that makes u sad and not b able to make it better. i really do love u and i dont want to think about not being together either bcuz i don't know what i'd do without u. it scares me to think about marriage and stuff like that considering the situation. im not going anywhere and i dont want you to take me being scared as me not knowing what i want because i do. i want u and i want to be with u. "
He really is being a superstar though. I honestly did not expect him to be so great about the whole situation. He wants to make plans and be involved in the decision making. I want him to make it better. And I know he can't really, but he's trying and I'm lucky I have him.
I don't know how to prove you love someone. And I definately don't know what the 'purpose of our relationship' is. But I do know that I love him more than I love anyone else and I really didn't know he cared that much. And while the whole mess is probably going to give me a stomach ulcer from the stress, I think it's bringing us even closer together and if we can get through this we can survive anything.
" i guess i said that before i thought it through and im just so upset because i dont want to think about not being together and its hard to explain cuz i really love the small things u do and i duno i love you and want u to love me back. "
" but now i just feel like saying i love you doesnt mean anything to u. please dont be upset it breaks my heart to b the one that makes u sad and not b able to make it better. i really do love u and i dont want to think about not being together either bcuz i don't know what i'd do without u. it scares me to think about marriage and stuff like that considering the situation. im not going anywhere and i dont want you to take me being scared as me not knowing what i want because i do. i want u and i want to be with u. "
He really is being a superstar though. I honestly did not expect him to be so great about the whole situation. He wants to make plans and be involved in the decision making. I want him to make it better. And I know he can't really, but he's trying and I'm lucky I have him.
I don't know how to prove you love someone. And I definately don't know what the 'purpose of our relationship' is. But I do know that I love him more than I love anyone else and I really didn't know he cared that much. And while the whole mess is probably going to give me a stomach ulcer from the stress, I think it's bringing us even closer together and if we can get through this we can survive anything.