Understanding - Chapter 8
Title: Understanding
Rating: NC-17
Author: Dana (me)
Warning: yaoi, mpreg, crack, none beta
Pairing: Reita x Saga
Fandom: Jrock, gazette, alice nine
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own insanity, and I make no money with this... or in any other way... >_>
Author's note: ZOMG! Saga pregy & very, very special! Poor Reita...
Plot: you should really know by now... X3
~*~First~*~
~*~Second~*~
~*~Third~*~
~*~Forth~*~
~*~Fifth~*~
~*~Sixth~*~
~*~Seventh~*~
Reita sneaked out of the room as Saga’s parents came by. Not that it mattered; they were pretending he didn’t exist anyways. As he was at the door he just gave Saga and inquisitive look at see if it was alright for him to leave and Saga nodded.
He was at the hospital the first thing in the morning. Waking up early, no, hardly getting any sleep at all, he was showered with early morning phone calls as he was getting dressed. Guys called, some to wake him up thinking he might over sleep which would be a bad thing considering Saga was alone and probably lonely, others to tell him to call them as soon as he can and give them updates.
He did have news. And he wanted to fondle the doctor’s spleen when he heard that during the night Saga bled again. Why didn’t they call him? They traced the cause of Saga’s condition to high blood pressure. To Reita it made little or no sense how it could have come to that, but mattered not what he thought was logical. At least now they knew what to treat Saga with.
Reita sat on a bench outside of the clinic and started calling everyone that needed to be informed about Saga’s condition. He felt bad about alarming them with the fact that during the night Saga bled again, especially because they would feel bad even though they couldn’t have done anything to help. He sort of figured why they didn’t call him during the night. Everyone he called gasped at the news and sent their love to Saga after Reita told them the doctor said they shouldn’t come today because Saga needed peace and quiet and his parent were already there.
He called his mother to tell her what happened after he got back from the hospital. Not that he really wanted to tell her, she still wasn’t completely use to the fact that her grandchild will be born by a man so Reita avoided calling her, wanting to give her time to adjust to the idea without pressure. She was shocked and worried to hear what happened to Saga. Reita figured she has finally warmed up to the idea of Saga giving birth to his child.
Still Reita wished he could have been there for Saga when he woke up in the middle of the night alone to see he is bleeding again. Even if there was nothing he could do to help and Saga was in the best place to get help, as the doctor told him, he still wished he could have held Saga’s hand through it all.
Time dragged on and Reita noticed Saga’s parents leave the hospital. He grinned, he was clear to go back. He was outside of the room when he heard voices of Saga and the doctor. Saga was crying and the doctor was trying to calm him down.
“It would have been better if you didn’t tell them how I got pregnant. Why did you do it? They didn’t need to know the details!” Saga yelled at the old man.
“You were to gutless to tell your parents you’re pregnant. You left that task to me. And might I add that it was no pleasant task.”
“But why tell them? All they needed to know was that I’m going to have a baby with the man I love. That is the truth!”
“It’s not truth if you leave something out!”
“It’s truth if they never even ask about it! Why would they ask how I got pregnant?”
“Are you stupid? All your life you’ve been careful and then suddenly you get pregnant. They wanted to know what the hell was on your mind. They wanted to know how you could be so stupid as to risk your life by getting pregnant.”
“You said me and the baby would be alright!”
“Yes! And you will! But back when you were a kid and your parents asked me about your condition I told them facts according to the medical achievements of that time. Medicine has advanced since then. But we never considered you would think about having children so the fact that it would be safer for you to have a baby then we originally thought never came up.”
“You could have left out the ‘how’ part. Or you could have lied.”
The old man sighed, “When I was sent to explain your situation to your parents I didn’t exactly hold the father of your baby in high regards. Not to mention that the whole affair was making me very nervous. Your parent trust me with your life, I can’t lie to them.”
He sat by Saga’s side. “They were furious. Angry at themselves for not making you more cautious and angry at you for letting yourself get pregnant. And they were mad at me for not making you abort. In the moment when the “how” slipped out I forgot to mention that the pregnancy would be safer then we thought. I only said the truth because I didn’t want them to feel guilty or be disappointed in you when you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“They still haven’t gotten over it.” Saga sobbed, “Will they ever?”
“They will, sooner or later. They are just frightened and still angry. Reita has proven himself. What happened was just a mistake and that doesn’t make him a bad person. He took his responsibility and not just out of guilt, he has shown real care and affection both to you and your baby. Your parents will see that.”
Outside the room Reita held his eyes shut and fist clenched so tight the knuckles were tuning white. He has forgotten about that. How could he? Not that he remembered much about that night, but he never thought that was the reason Saga’s parents resented him. He stepped away from the door and walked down the hallway and around the corner. There he sat down and buried his face in his hands.
He was afraid to admit to Saga, too embarrassed to think too much about it, but he did remember some parts of that night. His mind never really registered the fact that he was having sex with a man the way he has sex with a woman, but he did eventually remember some parts. Well only one part, which he had hoped was just a bad dream. Saga was crying, imploring him to let him go. Begging him to stop. But he didn’t.
That was all he could remember but he never dared ask Saga about it. How do you ask someone: “hey, did you cry when I raped you?”
Reita bit his lower lip to halo back a cry. This was the thorn in their relationship. Saga did well ignoring it, in fact he seemed completely over it. That helped Reita get over it too. No matter how bad it was the result was good. They are to have a baby. But a times someone would twist the blade and reopen that wound. It was mostly Ruki. He did his best not to let Reita forget he did a bad thing just in case he ever felt the need to give in to his primal urges and try and force himself on Saga again.
But Ruki was easy to ignore. He was glad that the doctor finally accepted him and forgave him in some way. Saga has forgiven him in every way. But there was one more person. His mother, he never told her how it happened and now that she was finally looking forward to her granddaughter, how could he.
“There you are! The coast is clear and you can go back to Saga.” The doctor winked at Reita but then he noticed the anguished expression on his face. “What is the matter boy?”
“I heard.” Reita swallowed the lump. “I heard you and Saga talking.”
“I see.” The old man set by his side. “Now what to do? What you heard you already knew you’ve done and have made amends for. Sitting alone and wondering how you could have made such a mistake will never help you fix it. Tormenting yourself with depression and feelings of inadequacy won’t bring back the brighter days.”
He placed a hand on Reita’s bent back. “For what it worth the only thing that is worth is the fact that Saga has forgiven you. And that should be enough for you to forgive yourself.”
Reita raised his head and smiled. “Thank you.”
“Now go to Saga!” He got up and after a few steps the turned back to Reita, “And maybe it’s better not to tell him you heard us. He got enough stress for the day.”
Reita nodded and got up. His phone rang and it was Saga.
“My parents are gone, you can come back.” Saga’s voice sounded sad.
“I’m on my way hon.”
When he got back into the room he saw Saga looked miserable, he lay down again and was humming some tune looking up at the ceiling. Reita walked over to him and kissed his forehead; glad that was all it took to make Saga smile again. He sat by his side.
“How are you feeling?”
“I wanna eat sweets but they say I can’t.” Saga wined.
Reita laughed, he was happy that Saga said something so innocent.
“It’s really a nasty contradiction. They say I should indulge my food cravings and then they say I can’t have chocolate. The sugar might raise my blood pressure. And mind you, the fact that I can eat whatever I want and blame it on the baby was one of the very few upsides of having to share my body.”
“Well they know what’s best for you and I’m sure it is.” Reita looked at Saga’s belly.
“Are you saying I’m fat!?”
Reita’s eyes widened. “Oh gods no! I would never dare say that!”
“So if you weren’t a coward you would call me fat!?” Saga yelled at him.
“Let’s please not do this again! I really can’t win no matter what I say. And you look fine.”
“How can you say that?” Saga sat up and supported himself on his hands.
Reita leaned forward and kissed Saga’s lips. Just a soft, innocent kiss on his lips. It was enough to shut him up. Saga closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Reita; he didn’t want the kiddy kisses. He licked Reita’s lips inviting his to a deeper play. Reita’s tongue brushed over Saga’s as his arms returned the embrace. To him a day without kissing his lover was a day wasted into nothing.
Pretty soon he traced kisses down Saga’s jaw and onto his neck. Saga loved it; he instantly threw his head back and moaned. He let his body drop back to the bed and pulled Reita down. But Reita was hesitant about things getting too heated up in a hospital room.
“Honey, you are in a hospital. See?” He took Saga arm and showed him where the IV needle was going into his flesh.
Saga moaned and pouted. “I want to go home.”
“I’m sorry honey, I can’t help you. This is for your own good and for the baby. Like last night, thank god you were here.”
At that Saga looked away and bit his lip.
“Don’t worry. They figured out why this was happening. Everything will be aright.”
Saga closed his eyes and Reita saw a tear escape. He kissed the rolling tear and brushed his nose against Saga’s cheek.
“I was so scared. I wanted to call you.”
“It’s alright love. It’s all over now.”
Saga shook his head. “It’s my fault. I should have taken her more seriously. Maybe I was just too playful for my condition.”
“Don’t say that. You have to be happy and active. It’s good for the baby. But from now on we will be more careful.”
Saga nodded. “I will tell the guys I can’t do anymore practices.”
“I’m sure they will understand. They are very worried about you.” Reita caressed Saga’s belly. “Both of you.”
Saga smiled lovingly at Reita. “I know. I’m sorry I got everyone so worried.”
Reita hesitated for a second but then said, “My mother will come by tomorrow. She wants to see you.”
This was new to Saga, did that mean she finally accepted the idea of her son having a child with a man. Saga understood it was hard for people to deal with the news so he never talked with Reita about it.
“She actually got worried when I told her. She wanted to come today but the doctor said you can’t have too many visitors a day.”
Saga nodded. “It’s alright. I’m glad she wants to come.” He smiled at Reita. “And I have an idea.”
Reita raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
Saga grinned. “Well, since they won’t give me candy, I know how I can get sweets!”
“How is that?”
Saga extended his arms to invite Reita in his embrace. “Kiss me!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Word from Dana (does anyone ever read what I say at the end?):
OMG! More drama! *thinks back* was there ever a time when we didn't have drama in here? O_o
So~ Thanks to Victor who told me I forgot to include the element of parents in my fic and that it would make it the story more "realistic" (was it not realistic enough? >_<) this chapter goes to all the parent who have grown up kids... >_>'
I hope I did a good job. And Vic when you read this try to think better of my writing skills, it's ok to be a critic... but man you're a pain in the ass... And I mean that in a very friendly way... not because you are gay... and sorry for outing you on my LJ...
hahahaha... but you are someone's pain in the ass in the real sense of the line... sorry... I'll stop now... X)
Comment please!!! X3
And lots of love to everyone who often comment on this fic!
Love list is:
realm_of_ravenx, konbon_person, buuberry, seungjea, xlineyx, xxreitaxuruhaxx , maple_x_gunman, gazerockyo, yuu_san, ajoa, rave-andou, dana-fields, jeno_chan, xkyo_chanx, lina-ishida, gazette-mor So sorry if I missed anyone! X3 I love ya all!!!
Rating: NC-17
Author: Dana (me)
Warning: yaoi, mpreg, crack, none beta
Pairing: Reita x Saga
Fandom: Jrock, gazette, alice nine
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own insanity, and I make no money with this... or in any other way... >_>
Author's note: ZOMG! Saga pregy & very, very special! Poor Reita...
Plot: you should really know by now... X3
~*~First~*~
~*~Second~*~
~*~Third~*~
~*~Forth~*~
~*~Fifth~*~
~*~Sixth~*~
~*~Seventh~*~
Reita sneaked out of the room as Saga’s parents came by. Not that it mattered; they were pretending he didn’t exist anyways. As he was at the door he just gave Saga and inquisitive look at see if it was alright for him to leave and Saga nodded.
He was at the hospital the first thing in the morning. Waking up early, no, hardly getting any sleep at all, he was showered with early morning phone calls as he was getting dressed. Guys called, some to wake him up thinking he might over sleep which would be a bad thing considering Saga was alone and probably lonely, others to tell him to call them as soon as he can and give them updates.
He did have news. And he wanted to fondle the doctor’s spleen when he heard that during the night Saga bled again. Why didn’t they call him? They traced the cause of Saga’s condition to high blood pressure. To Reita it made little or no sense how it could have come to that, but mattered not what he thought was logical. At least now they knew what to treat Saga with.
Reita sat on a bench outside of the clinic and started calling everyone that needed to be informed about Saga’s condition. He felt bad about alarming them with the fact that during the night Saga bled again, especially because they would feel bad even though they couldn’t have done anything to help. He sort of figured why they didn’t call him during the night. Everyone he called gasped at the news and sent their love to Saga after Reita told them the doctor said they shouldn’t come today because Saga needed peace and quiet and his parent were already there.
He called his mother to tell her what happened after he got back from the hospital. Not that he really wanted to tell her, she still wasn’t completely use to the fact that her grandchild will be born by a man so Reita avoided calling her, wanting to give her time to adjust to the idea without pressure. She was shocked and worried to hear what happened to Saga. Reita figured she has finally warmed up to the idea of Saga giving birth to his child.
Still Reita wished he could have been there for Saga when he woke up in the middle of the night alone to see he is bleeding again. Even if there was nothing he could do to help and Saga was in the best place to get help, as the doctor told him, he still wished he could have held Saga’s hand through it all.
Time dragged on and Reita noticed Saga’s parents leave the hospital. He grinned, he was clear to go back. He was outside of the room when he heard voices of Saga and the doctor. Saga was crying and the doctor was trying to calm him down.
“It would have been better if you didn’t tell them how I got pregnant. Why did you do it? They didn’t need to know the details!” Saga yelled at the old man.
“You were to gutless to tell your parents you’re pregnant. You left that task to me. And might I add that it was no pleasant task.”
“But why tell them? All they needed to know was that I’m going to have a baby with the man I love. That is the truth!”
“It’s not truth if you leave something out!”
“It’s truth if they never even ask about it! Why would they ask how I got pregnant?”
“Are you stupid? All your life you’ve been careful and then suddenly you get pregnant. They wanted to know what the hell was on your mind. They wanted to know how you could be so stupid as to risk your life by getting pregnant.”
“You said me and the baby would be alright!”
“Yes! And you will! But back when you were a kid and your parents asked me about your condition I told them facts according to the medical achievements of that time. Medicine has advanced since then. But we never considered you would think about having children so the fact that it would be safer for you to have a baby then we originally thought never came up.”
“You could have left out the ‘how’ part. Or you could have lied.”
The old man sighed, “When I was sent to explain your situation to your parents I didn’t exactly hold the father of your baby in high regards. Not to mention that the whole affair was making me very nervous. Your parent trust me with your life, I can’t lie to them.”
He sat by Saga’s side. “They were furious. Angry at themselves for not making you more cautious and angry at you for letting yourself get pregnant. And they were mad at me for not making you abort. In the moment when the “how” slipped out I forgot to mention that the pregnancy would be safer then we thought. I only said the truth because I didn’t want them to feel guilty or be disappointed in you when you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“They still haven’t gotten over it.” Saga sobbed, “Will they ever?”
“They will, sooner or later. They are just frightened and still angry. Reita has proven himself. What happened was just a mistake and that doesn’t make him a bad person. He took his responsibility and not just out of guilt, he has shown real care and affection both to you and your baby. Your parents will see that.”
Outside the room Reita held his eyes shut and fist clenched so tight the knuckles were tuning white. He has forgotten about that. How could he? Not that he remembered much about that night, but he never thought that was the reason Saga’s parents resented him. He stepped away from the door and walked down the hallway and around the corner. There he sat down and buried his face in his hands.
He was afraid to admit to Saga, too embarrassed to think too much about it, but he did remember some parts of that night. His mind never really registered the fact that he was having sex with a man the way he has sex with a woman, but he did eventually remember some parts. Well only one part, which he had hoped was just a bad dream. Saga was crying, imploring him to let him go. Begging him to stop. But he didn’t.
That was all he could remember but he never dared ask Saga about it. How do you ask someone: “hey, did you cry when I raped you?”
Reita bit his lower lip to halo back a cry. This was the thorn in their relationship. Saga did well ignoring it, in fact he seemed completely over it. That helped Reita get over it too. No matter how bad it was the result was good. They are to have a baby. But a times someone would twist the blade and reopen that wound. It was mostly Ruki. He did his best not to let Reita forget he did a bad thing just in case he ever felt the need to give in to his primal urges and try and force himself on Saga again.
But Ruki was easy to ignore. He was glad that the doctor finally accepted him and forgave him in some way. Saga has forgiven him in every way. But there was one more person. His mother, he never told her how it happened and now that she was finally looking forward to her granddaughter, how could he.
“There you are! The coast is clear and you can go back to Saga.” The doctor winked at Reita but then he noticed the anguished expression on his face. “What is the matter boy?”
“I heard.” Reita swallowed the lump. “I heard you and Saga talking.”
“I see.” The old man set by his side. “Now what to do? What you heard you already knew you’ve done and have made amends for. Sitting alone and wondering how you could have made such a mistake will never help you fix it. Tormenting yourself with depression and feelings of inadequacy won’t bring back the brighter days.”
He placed a hand on Reita’s bent back. “For what it worth the only thing that is worth is the fact that Saga has forgiven you. And that should be enough for you to forgive yourself.”
Reita raised his head and smiled. “Thank you.”
“Now go to Saga!” He got up and after a few steps the turned back to Reita, “And maybe it’s better not to tell him you heard us. He got enough stress for the day.”
Reita nodded and got up. His phone rang and it was Saga.
“My parents are gone, you can come back.” Saga’s voice sounded sad.
“I’m on my way hon.”
When he got back into the room he saw Saga looked miserable, he lay down again and was humming some tune looking up at the ceiling. Reita walked over to him and kissed his forehead; glad that was all it took to make Saga smile again. He sat by his side.
“How are you feeling?”
“I wanna eat sweets but they say I can’t.” Saga wined.
Reita laughed, he was happy that Saga said something so innocent.
“It’s really a nasty contradiction. They say I should indulge my food cravings and then they say I can’t have chocolate. The sugar might raise my blood pressure. And mind you, the fact that I can eat whatever I want and blame it on the baby was one of the very few upsides of having to share my body.”
“Well they know what’s best for you and I’m sure it is.” Reita looked at Saga’s belly.
“Are you saying I’m fat!?”
Reita’s eyes widened. “Oh gods no! I would never dare say that!”
“So if you weren’t a coward you would call me fat!?” Saga yelled at him.
“Let’s please not do this again! I really can’t win no matter what I say. And you look fine.”
“How can you say that?” Saga sat up and supported himself on his hands.
Reita leaned forward and kissed Saga’s lips. Just a soft, innocent kiss on his lips. It was enough to shut him up. Saga closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Reita; he didn’t want the kiddy kisses. He licked Reita’s lips inviting his to a deeper play. Reita’s tongue brushed over Saga’s as his arms returned the embrace. To him a day without kissing his lover was a day wasted into nothing.
Pretty soon he traced kisses down Saga’s jaw and onto his neck. Saga loved it; he instantly threw his head back and moaned. He let his body drop back to the bed and pulled Reita down. But Reita was hesitant about things getting too heated up in a hospital room.
“Honey, you are in a hospital. See?” He took Saga arm and showed him where the IV needle was going into his flesh.
Saga moaned and pouted. “I want to go home.”
“I’m sorry honey, I can’t help you. This is for your own good and for the baby. Like last night, thank god you were here.”
At that Saga looked away and bit his lip.
“Don’t worry. They figured out why this was happening. Everything will be aright.”
Saga closed his eyes and Reita saw a tear escape. He kissed the rolling tear and brushed his nose against Saga’s cheek.
“I was so scared. I wanted to call you.”
“It’s alright love. It’s all over now.”
Saga shook his head. “It’s my fault. I should have taken her more seriously. Maybe I was just too playful for my condition.”
“Don’t say that. You have to be happy and active. It’s good for the baby. But from now on we will be more careful.”
Saga nodded. “I will tell the guys I can’t do anymore practices.”
“I’m sure they will understand. They are very worried about you.” Reita caressed Saga’s belly. “Both of you.”
Saga smiled lovingly at Reita. “I know. I’m sorry I got everyone so worried.”
Reita hesitated for a second but then said, “My mother will come by tomorrow. She wants to see you.”
This was new to Saga, did that mean she finally accepted the idea of her son having a child with a man. Saga understood it was hard for people to deal with the news so he never talked with Reita about it.
“She actually got worried when I told her. She wanted to come today but the doctor said you can’t have too many visitors a day.”
Saga nodded. “It’s alright. I’m glad she wants to come.” He smiled at Reita. “And I have an idea.”
Reita raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
Saga grinned. “Well, since they won’t give me candy, I know how I can get sweets!”
“How is that?”
Saga extended his arms to invite Reita in his embrace. “Kiss me!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Word from Dana (does anyone ever read what I say at the end?):
OMG! More drama! *thinks back* was there ever a time when we didn't have drama in here? O_o
So~ Thanks to Victor who told me I forgot to include the element of parents in my fic and that it would make it the story more "realistic" (was it not realistic enough? >_<) this chapter goes to all the parent who have grown up kids... >_>'
I hope I did a good job. And Vic when you read this try to think better of my writing skills, it's ok to be a critic... but man you're a pain in the ass... And I mean that in a very friendly way... not because you are gay... and sorry for outing you on my LJ...
hahahaha... but you are someone's pain in the ass in the real sense of the line... sorry... I'll stop now... X)
Comment please!!! X3
And lots of love to everyone who often comment on this fic!
Love list is:
realm_of_ravenx, konbon_person, buuberry, seungjea, xlineyx, xxreitaxuruhaxx , maple_x_gunman, gazerockyo, yuu_san, ajoa, rave-andou, dana-fields, jeno_chan, xkyo_chanx, lina-ishida, gazette-mor So sorry if I missed anyone! X3 I love ya all!!!