I don't know what the hell is happening, but my state is deteriorating rapidly and seriously... I am terrified, I have never experienced anything like this... I am holding by a thread and I'm scared it's about to break ( Read more... )

Depression is not new to me, but I must say, since about August I have been hit with a wave of it so severe I never ever encountered anything so horrific... I am literally barely able to get out of bed. I am not really able to function. I have even went on an antidepressant that has not helped and I have been on it long enough to know... I am going ( Read more... )

I am so sick of people thinking depression is a character flaw, a weakness, something you can "snap out of"... It's a debilitating disease! It's a horrific illness that's like a cancer of the soul, robbing you of humanity and personality, of joy, hope and just about everything else ( Read more... )

I never thought I will get to the point of such cynical distrust of people bordering on fear mixed with insane insecurity... I have been having hellish two damn years and I was forced pretty much to finally hit pause. Medical reasons, like my body finally collapsed catching up with my weakened mind and soul... I have been pretty much ordered 6 ( Read more... )

My head feels like a ball of twine that's got tangled... make that a tangled ball of twine in fog... I can't seem to think clearly AT all... Some persistent state of confusion... Maybe it's still the Paxil withdrawal acting up... I hate this state. So damn... confused, and foggy and completely unclear on ANYTHING, don't know what to do, think, ( Read more... )

My hellish withdrawal from Satan's Candy aka Paxil/Seroxat/Paroxetine continues ( Read more... )

I can't deny what's going on with me... I am depressed. I don't mean I have a bad mood or a bad month or whatever, I can't get out of bed. Seriously, I sleep for 12 hours, I get weepy for NO reason... I know the symptoms... One of my biggest fears... Depression has returned. I have NO idea why... Maybe the fucking Effexor still... I just know I am ( Read more... )

Well, I can finally say that poison is out of my system! I am slowly getting back the ability to read, I no longer have symptoms of stroke... I survived! I have to reconsider my agnostic view. It's a miracle I am not dead or brain damaged! I have NEVER been through anything scarier, more painful or more horrifying... It's hard to believe I have ( Read more... )

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Dedicated to the seizure I had about half an hours ago... The Hell continues...

Today is first day of second week of switching meds... Still detoxing. Well, it's been HELL. Physically and mentally. I got so fucking paranoid I don't even want to go into details... it scared me. Trully scared me that I'm actually losing my mind, in the most literal sense. Still paranoid, sleep is off and on, so is food... Eat when remember to ( Read more... )