Worst of Times
Depression is not new to me, but I must say, since about August I have been hit with a wave of it so severe I never ever encountered anything so horrific... I am literally barely able to get out of bed. I am not really able to function. I have even went on an antidepressant that has not helped and I have been on it long enough to know... I am going to see a doctor on Wednesday to try to find something else, I had to put my hands up and just admit I cannot try to deal with this by myself, I need serious help this time. And I am MADLY against doing that if you have followed my history even on this blog... But this time it's so crippling and severe I would turn to anyone and do ANYTHING. I feel literally like I have forgotten who I am... Lost my personality. Forgot what I like, what are my interests, passions... I feel like I am being erased more and more every single day. I have this fear there will be nothing left of me... I feel like I am disappearing. Slowly but surely. Fading into grey...I am so very scared and I don't know what to do to stop it! I am so scared no one and nothing CAN help...
